Cased

I've been tagged in the Ms Mystery Case Worth Casing Awards
 by the Queen of Awesome herself, Tegan over at Musings Of The Misguided. 

This means I'm worth 'casing'. This is the same as stalking expect without the creepy bit. And why wouldn't you stalk this blog?!

That was a rhetorical question. No need to answer. Thank you. 

Anyway, a big thanks to Tegan! 


Apparently I must answer five questions and then tag five other bloggers. The first part is easy. Here goes:


1. How long have you been blogging and why did you start?

Um, I think I started around March of 2012. I started because I used to write these silly witty Christmas/End of Year letters to friends. My friends were too polite to tell me to give up LOVED them. So I figured why stop at just boring my friends when there is an entire blogosphere out there?! You're welcome!

2. If your wardrobe could talk what would it say about you and tell us about your favourite or most worn item?

Well, it would most likely say something along the lines of 'Back away from the Cakies for FFS!!' Followed closely by: "There are a myriad of colours besides black!" But mostly it would just say: "You need to tidy me once in a while!"

My favourite and most worn item would be my trusty dressing gown, followed by my trackies. Ahem.  I also have a long sort of drapey coat type arrangement. I bought it from Autograph a few years ago and I've worn it TO DEATH. It's still got a few years of wear left in it. Shut up. 


3. What's your idea of the perfect date night?

What's that? Oh, you mean where you get to go out with your partner without kids to a restaurant that doesn't serve chicken nuggets? Yes, that would be lovely. Followed by watching an entire movie without interruption. 

4. What's on your Worth Casing list?

This is where I would love to be able to drop names like Prada and Diane Von Furstenburg with the ease of a svelte, cashed-up yummy mummy. The truth is this: I went into Millers the other day (I know. THE SHAME...) with my five dollar reward voucher to buy one of their long (black- what else?) cardies and there were none left!! How frightfully RUDE!  Plus, I really need some new shoes. Flat, sensible ones. Again, I reiterate: shut UP. 

5. If you had a theme song what would it be and why?

I'm not exactly sure but it would have to be something sad and weepy. probably involving violins. Especially after admitting to all of the above. Send In The Clowns? 

Now this is where it all starts to get tricky and too much for my tiny little brain. I'm supposed to tag five other bloggers. This is problematic because it appears that every blogger in the known universe has already been tagged. Besides which, you know I love you all, so how could I possibly narrow it down to only five?? 

I know, I know. I'm cheating and not playing the game right. But I've always been crap at these chain letter type things. So I'll probably have some awful tragedy happen to me now. Like ending up virtually destitute and friendless, shopping at Millers in sensible shoes and listening to weepy music.....

Oh wait....

TOO LATE. 

What's your theme song? 

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I Won't Last A Day Without...

There are certain things that I would I find terribly difficult to give up. Such as:

My Family

Okay, there are certain days when I do wish I could be all by myself. Except I'd be belting out Carpenters songs instead of Celine Dion. But in reality, I couldn't live without my family. They are my suit of armour against the World. Whenever I'm feeling awkward and alien like (which is often) I can remind myself that:

a) As Dr Phil says: You wouldn't worry about what others thought of you if you knew how seldom they did, and
b) I have Micky Blue eyes and my boys who love and accept me.

The Internet

Some days I am scrolling down my Facebook feed (or typing another pointless blog post- ahem) and wondering why I bother. Still, I can't seem to hit the deactivate button. It's a sickness really. Sigh.

Sugar/Cakies/Chocolate

I tried quit sugar last year. It was the longest five minutes of my life. BOOM TISH. Seriously though, I did only last about five minutes. More recently I started the Get Healthy Programme, except I seemed to think it was the Get Diabetes programme. I have ended up delaying this for a while and am starting again soon. Hopefully I'll last for at least ten minutes this time. Shut up.

Karen Carpenter/Carpenters addiction/obsession

This fascination, which began at the tender age of 11, has only intensified with the arrival of the internet, making it even more impossible to hit that Facebook Deactivate Button, thereby quitting all of the fan groups and pages I belong to. Don't ask. I've lost count. But at least the fact that there are so many groups proves that I'm not alone in my weirdness.

Quiet Time

As much as I love my family, I do need time alone as well.  This is particularly precious due to it's rarity. I have been forced to give this up to a degree. But I'll still grab the smallest opportunity whenever I can. In fact, on our current holiday, when faced with the choice of joining my family for a stroll on the beach or staying in the apartment alone with the lap-top, I chose the latter. I justified this by reasoning that I spent plenty of time doing stuff with them every other day. And the sand. All that sand, everywhere, six months later. *Shudders*.

Cups Of Tea

I only drink one coffee a day. And about a billion or so cups of tea. I think I was weaned with a tea bag. Okay, not quite, but I did start drinking it at a young age and am absolutely addicted. The tea bag must be left in, thank you very much. I know, it's disgusting. Especially since tea bags were EVIL when I was growing up. We always had proper leaf tea in a pot. But I'm lazy, so tea bags it is now.

Books/Reading

 For me, the highlight of our family road trips involves stopping off at any available Op Shops and loading up on bargain books. This is approached with the same fervency and desperation that a heroin addict would reserve for getting their next fix. I. MUST. HAVE. BOOKS. I probably should purchase a Kindle at some point and bring myself into the 21^st Century, however I’m sure I still wouldn’t be able to resist those road trip Op Shop crawls. They're much better than Pub crawls in my opinion.

Exercise

This is one I struggle with. I can easily be lazy and give it up, but my physical and mental health suffers if I let it slide. So I force myself to do sweaty aerobics on most days. I do this for the endorphins, not to become svelte and super fit with a rippling six-pack and buns of steel. I prefer buns with cream, actually. Ahem. Which is why I'll never have the former.

Blogging/Writing

I've only recently come to the conclusion that writing is kind of similar to exercise for me.  I may not be the best, most eloquent writer, just as I am not the most agile, fit athlete, but I usually feel better when I do it. Even if it's just scribbling nonsense purely for my own amusement or boring you all with this blog, I need to do it. As I've mentioned I can be lazy, so sometimes I have to force myself, just like the exercise. When I do, I feel better. The end. So, I guess you're all stuck with me. You're welcome.

And there you have it. The stuff I would find hard to give up. Now I'm off to read books and drink tea.  Oh alright, I'll exercise instead. Hmph.

Linking up (late, as usual)  for Laugh Link and also for I Must Confess.

What would you find hard to give up?

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Bloggy Break

This is just a quick post to let all of my adoring fans (there must be at least two of you) that I'm taking a bloggy break due to a combination of school holidays, lack of a computer and feeling blah and uninspired. Not that  any of this bogan bullshit was particularly inspired in the first place, anyway. Ahem. But I still like to bore you with it, regardless. You're welcome.

So, I guess you'll just have to find a cure for insomnia elsewhere for the time being. Hopefully, I'll be back soon. I think. Maybe. Probably. Most likely.

You can't get rid me of me that easily. How VERY DARE YOU. So ner.

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I Thought This Bogan Would Be Better At Stuff By Now

I am 42. And I thought I'd be better at this thing called Life by now. Which reminds me of that meme I've seen floating around Facebook, which says something like: I miss being the age when I thought I'd have my shit together by the time I was the age I am now. Yeah, THAT.

There are so many things I thought I'd be better at by now. Such as:

Talking/Communicating

Growing up I always believed that I would magically 'come out of my shell' one day, just like everybody kept telling me I SHOULD. I MUST. I felt certain  there was a bubbly, outgoing chatterbox inside me just busting to get out. Eventually it would happen and I'd suddenly find myself sprouting verbal diarrhoea with the best of them. I was going to be extremely witty, droll and just plain LOUD. The anti-thesis of this mute, shy, introverted girl. I would shine. Stand out in a crowd for once, instead of being instantly forgettable. More than twenty years later, it hasn't happened. I am still the quietest person in the room, wherever I am. People still say things like "You're the quietest person I've ever known." Worse still, they will sometimes even talk about me as if I'm not even there. It's true. I still rarely speak. People forget that I'm there. I fade into the furniture. That bubbly, witty person is figment of my imagination.


Organisation/Remembering Stuff

As a child I was a total off with the pixies space cadet with my head permanently 'up the Faraway Tree'. Nothing has changed as an adult. This is not extremely helpful when you are meant to the person in charge of running a house including three small people. My attention span is worse than the average two year old. Knowing that this is something to do with having Aspergers means I now understand why. However, the problem does not go away. For example, one of the  boys may ask me for some two minute noodles. Dutifully, I go the monumental effort of pouring sachets and boiling water on them, then walk away to wait for the allotted two minutes. Half an hour later, a ravenous child whines:"Where's my noodles?" Oops.

Driving

While I do have a license, I didn't get it until I was 36. At 42 I am still on my P Plates. I am one of those pathetic people who actually drives around for 15 minutes or so, looking for another, easier parking space so I don't have to parallel park. In fact, I haven't done it once since I passed my driving test. I also avoid driving to unfamiliar places, at night and in heavy traffic. In other words, I might as well have never bothered getting a licence. But least I now have photographic ID for those times when we go to an extremely classy RSL club. We are dedicated bogans, after all.

Parenting

When Mr 11 (soon to be Mr 12) was born in 2001, I became I relatively good parent. Surprisingly, since I was a 30 year old person who had zero experience being around babies and children. In fact I had possibly only ever held a baby once or twice for a total of ten minutes. Still, I managed to puree home made food, read bed time stories every night and generally do an okay job. Naturally, in my naivete, I believed this meant that I could only be a better parent to any subsequent children. After all, I now had experience. HA! It turns out that it actually gets harder with more children. Who knew? Second time around I had to factor in that now I not only had a squalling infant, but a demanding toddler as well. My standards dropped. I didn't manage to puree baby food quite so often. I fed Mr9 so much mashed banana and yoghurt as a baby that I think I have permanently turned him off those foods. By the time Mr 4 arrived we slowly but surely progressed to the wonderfully varied diet we now enjoy as a family these days. It consists of two minute noodles, sausages, fish fingers and lumpy mashed potato. Yum.

Medical Stuff

Basically I'm a big scaredy cat about anything of a medical nature. I thought I'd be well and truly over this phobia by now. Wrong. A routine blood test still has me shaking. Even entering a hospital for any reason at all, makes me feel wobbly. I could never have been a nurse. The thing is, as you get older there is a more pressing need to have all sorts of medical stuff attended to. Considering that I'm lucky enough to be in relative good health I should be able to just get over myself and get on with it.

Technology/Blogging

After a year of this blogging  business, I thought I'd most likely become better at it. Sorry folks. Hasn't happened. I continue to clock in a spectacularly underwhelming performance just like a typical lazy 'she'll be right' bogan. I don't have a niche. Or understand anything about RSS or SEO. I thought they were possibly LOL text type talk. Are they? Meh, whatever. I briefly attempted to raise the bar the other day when I noticed a Blogs and PR concern on Twitter on the lookout for Lifestyle Bloggers. I tweeted back that I do, indeed, blog about my bogan lifestyle. No response. Can't think why.

My photography skills are non-existent. I've still never taken a selfie. Instagram is complete mystery to me and likely to remain so. There is no point in even bothering when I am such an abysmal technophobe.  Who wants to see my woeful attempts at photography. On that note, I'm not even going to bother adding images to this post. There is no point.

So basically what I'm saying is, I thought I'd be better at EVERYTHING by now.


I'm very excited to be linking up for the first time ever with The Lounge which is being hosted this week by Tegan from Musings Of The Misguided.  If there is one thing I'm certainly good at, it's lounging around. And I'm getting better at it all the time.

What did you think you would be better at by now?

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A Great Big Bogan Thankyou Take Two

It has come to my attention that I have been tagged yet again for another award. This time for something called the Leibster Award. To explain what that is I pinched this from one of my taggers:

"The award is given to support and recognise up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers (on their blog) or likers (on their Facebook page). The word “Liebster” apparently has German origins and is reported to mean sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. By following some basic rules (answer 11 questions set by your nominee, write 11 questions of your own and pass the award onto 11other bloggers to answer) it enables readers to get to know new bloggers and connect with a wider audience."

 

Thanks are due to Tracey from Bliss Amongst Chaos who  tagged me.

 

Now I will answer Tracey's questions:

 

1. What is your favourite colour?

Green

 

2. Best book you ever read?

There are so many but The Magic Faraway Tree and Anne Of

Green Gables are still my favourites since childhood.

3. What is your 'houseworking' music of choice?

None really. If I put music on, no house work will be done, because I'll do anything to avoid it.

 

4. Do you have a habit that others would consider weird and if so, what?

Oh boy, we could be here for a while on this question. Deep breath. I have a Karen Carpenter obsession and stimming behaviours, such as hand flapping and rocking, due to having Aspergers.

 

5. Are you messy, or a neat freak?

Horrifically messy, I'm afraid.

 

6. What is one word your friends would use to describe you?

Probably 'sweet', because they are too kind to say nauseating.

 

7. When choosing a milkshake, what flavour do you always go for?

Chocolate, of course. Chocolate makes everything better.

 

8. What is your favourite quote?

Be yourself, everybody else is already taken- Oscar Wilde

 

9. What is your favourite movie of all time?

A bit stuck on this question to be honest, but I do love Barbra Streisand, so maybe Funny Girl or The Way We Were. As I mentioned, I'm nauseating.

 

10. What is your favourite Christmas tradition?

Besides eating myself into a coma? Um, no idea really.

 

11. Do you prefer wine or spirits?The only spirit I like is scotch, so possibly wine.

 I have also been tagged by the bad ass Tegan (see, I didn't call you 'lovely' or any of those nauseating adjectives) from  Musings of the Misguided

These were her questions:

How long have you been blogging?
Since March 2012.
 

What was the first Blog you read?
Karen Carpenter Avenue. Or something to do with Karen anyway. Shut up.

How did you come up with the name for your Blog?
It's basically a pun of the classic novel Tess of the D'urbervilles and since my name is Vanessa, everyone calls me Ness for short and we do, indeed, live in Boganville, it seemed to fit. Though I've since realised that anyone making the connection between bogans and classic literature might be a bit of a stretch.

Summer or Winter?
They both suck. I can't figure out which one sucks more for me.

How do you start your day?
With a cup of tea.

One thing you couldn't live without?
Oxygen. Yep, I'm a smart arse.

If you were stuck on a deserted island, who is one person you would like to be stuck with?
Barack Obama, because then there might be a rather good search party coming to rescue us.

Your favourite indulgence food?
Chocolate

Do you blog to a schedule?
Nope. I'm not organised and I never know when I can get computer time anyway, as I have to share. Wahhhhhhh.
 
If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?
In a five star motel, in any capital city, by myself, with my books, a lap-top and unlimited room service.

Are you ready for Christmas?
As ready as I'll ever be. (ie Not ready AT ALL)


Now, I think the way it works is that I am supposed to think of some questions and tag people, however it is at this stage that I will gracefully bow out of the tag game, as I suspect that all the people I was going to tag have already been tagged. I'm always a bit behind with these things. With everything, in fact. Oops.

So, anyway, so long and thanks for all the tags!

 

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A Great Big Bogan Thankyou

A great big bogan thank you is overdue to all the lovely bloggers who tagged me for the Sunshine Award. I never thought of this boring as batshit bogan blog as being particularly sunshiney so it was quite an honour. And it also means that three extra people besides my Mum have actually read this blog, so that's always a bonus too.

 Apparently  it works like this:

"The Sunshine Award is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. The recipients of the Sunshine Award are: “Bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogsphere”. The way the award works is this: Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them. Answer questions about yourself. Select 10 of your favourite bloggers, link their blogs to your post and let them know they have been awarded the Sunshine Award!"

Hmmm, a creative and inspiring bogan? Interesting.

So onto the questions and tagging:

1. Favourite Time of the Year?
Spring or Autumn, I whinge when it's hot or cold and can't decide which I hate more. In between is good.

2. Favourite Festive movie?
Umm...not sure, but those Santa Claus movies that were on recently seemed to keep my boys entertained so they are up there.

3. What is your Passion?
I'd have to say my family. Because it would be wrong to say Karen Carpenter and cakies.  Wouldn't it? 

4. Favourite Colour?
Green. Maybe not lime green or fluorescent green, but pretty greens.

5. Favourite time of the Day?
Definitely NOT a morning person AT ALL, so I'll say afternoon or evenings.

6. Favourite Flower?
I suppose I'd have to be totally predictable and say roses.

7.Favourite Non-Alcoholic Beverage?
Tea!  I think my Mum weened me on a tea bag, so I've been addicted from a young age.

8. Favourite Physical Activity?
I'm actually one of these strange individuals who likes exercise DVDs and I have a collection of them. The fact that I never end up looking remotely like the smug, scarily ripped women who instruct them may be due to the afore mentioned passion for cakies and not necessarily to the ineffectiveness of the dvds.

9. Favourite Holiday?
Anywhere that's not Dubbo, Darwin or Woop Woop is a bonus when you're married to someone who thinks they're Bear Gryls and forgets they're actually an Accountant.

Now, who to tag. I read so many brilliant blogs, that frankly I think I should just give up, because clearly I have no idea what I'm doing on any level.  Anyway I'll tag these blogs:

My Home Truths

Musings of the Misguided

Oculus Mundi

Bliss Amongst Chaos

Twitchy Corner

Autism In Our Words

What Sarah Did Next

babbling bandit.me

A life of peace & gratitude

The Crafty Ex-Pat

If you are in that list and have already been tagged or do not desire to play tag, then just ignore me. Oh wait, you are already. Done.

Oh and I should probably mention that those first three were the brilliant bloggers who tagged me. I'm tagging them back because I can. And I do also read and enjoy their blogs. So thankyou!

It has also come to my attention that I have been tagged for yet another award, so more thankyous and tags to come! 


 

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Why I Started My Blog

For this post I am linking up with Musings of the Misguided on why I started my blog. Here's why:

Some time ago I started writing Christmas letters. You  know the kind. The ones where you detail everything your family has been doing all year. You make your life sound so busy, wildly exciting and interesting. Then go on to boast about your children being over achieving geniuses.

Except that I didn't do that. I told the truth. We are bogans. We are boring (mostly). When we go on a holiday it is to somewhere like Dubbo. Not that there is anything wrong with Dubbo mind you. But some strange people won't think it is as interesting as Disney Land. Weird.

Anyway, my Christmas letters met with a very  favourable response. A couple of friends actually read them. I think. Maybe. They said they did! Bloody liars.

So anyway, I started to toy with the idea of starting a blog.  But I never did. I figured we are too boring to find things to write about every week.

I forgot about if for  a while . Then started thinking about it again on and off. I tend to over think things and agonise for no reason. So one day, on a whim, in a weird mood, I just went, meh, what the hell, and started one.

It was at this point that I realised that I didn't have a single clue of what I was doing. So I kept doing it anyway.  Nobody read it except my Mum, but that didn't stop me. In fact, it's still mostly my Mum reading it. Thanks Mum.

I had no idea of what was actually involved in blogging and the whole concept of the 'blogosphere' was alien to me. In fact, for some time I thought having a blog was similar to having a Facebook account, except with a little more detail.

 Yeah, I know, I was jolly ignorant. Frightfully so. And I may have read too many Enid Blyton books as a child. Oh okay, I have read them as an adult too.  Which brings me to my other reason for starting a blog.

For some time, as a child, I was convinced  I was the next Enid Blyton waiting to happen. This was due to the fact that, ever since I was in 4th Grade, or Year 4, or whatever they call it now, in primary school, I had teachers compliment my writing ability. The compliments and encouragement continued in high school.

 However, my love of all things Enid, has meant my brain has remained firmly 'up the Faraway Tree' ever since I first read the book.

I'm a total off with the pixies space cadet. I can barely manage to stay on the same train of thought to actually finish  a sentence, let alone a full novel. Or even a blog post at times. What was I talking about?

Oh yeah. So, sadly, my Year 5 teacher's prediction that I was 'gifted' and a 'budding novelist' have not come true. Still, I figured that with a blog I can kind of. sort of, pretend I'm a 'writer'. Ahem.

So basically my reasons for starting a blog are to tell it how it is, warts and all, being bogans in Boganville, while simultaneously pretending to be a 'writer'.

Yep, that's my logic.

Why did you start your blog? Don't have a blog? Would you consider starting one?

And please, can someone finally answer the question I have been pondering for a while now. How did Enid Blyton turn out to be (according to Wikipedia) something resembling a bitch? I need to know. Why, Enid, why?   It's like finding out that Santa is just some creepy guy in a suit...oh wait..

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