My most treasured item

There are certain items that I treasure. Most of them are jewellery. Of course I am particularly fond of my wedding and engagement rings. I chose an engagement ring with an extremely high set solitaire diamond. I expected that I would probably go around catching and bumping it on everything. Surprisingly, this isn't an issue.

Possibly because I rarely wear them these days.  It's so much easier to pick-up without them. Just kidding. As if I would ever have any trouble picking up if I wanted too! I just don't bother because it wouldn't be fair to all the single ladies. Oh yeah, and because of the whole happily married and PASSIONATELY in love with Mickey Blue Eyes thing. Yeah, that. 

Jokes aside, the real reason I don't wear them much is because I wake up in the middle of the night with pins and needles in my hand and fingers. Consequently, I take the rings off and then forget to put them back on. Oops. 

Anyway, thinking about this topic makes me realise that I don't really value 'stuff'. I have my phone and I share a lap-top. But there aren't a lot of items that spring to mind. Only one.

My Carpenters key ring. 

I purchased this beloved acquisition from the official Carpenters fan club when it was still in existence. The only thing is, I have come under scorn, creating some controversy among two other fans, due to the fact that I actually use it as a key-ring.

Apparently you are supposed to have it framed in gold and worship it from a distance. 

Along with the key-ring, I also bought a Carpenters address book. I actually wrote in it. Oops. 

When I originally purchased these items I did not know that there would come a time when I would be able to sell them on Evilbay. Plus, I've never had any intention of selling them, anyway. But I certainly could have looked after them better. 

My mugger would have been impressed
with this wallet photo. 

I also had a little wallet photograph and a fan club membership card. They were proudly kept in my purse. One day I was mugged as a teenager and had my purse snatched. I was DEVASTATED. I'm pretty sure the mugger was, too. He only got about ten bucks and my lousy (to him) Carpenters memorabilia. That THAT, nasty mugger! 

Additionally, (just to confirm my weirdness) I own a tiny segment of red shag pile 1970's carpet. What's so special about this? Well, it originates from the music room of the former home of the Carpenters in Downey, California. I have a piece of carpet that Karen and Richard Carpenter actually walked on and played their drums (Karen) and keyboards (Richard) on! 

I keep in it my beside table drawer and take it out and stroke it lovingly from time to time. Um, not really. I do keep it in my drawer, but I don't stroke it. That would just be weird. And we've already established that my obsession isn't weird or creepy AT ALL. Ahem. 

The infamous red carpet can be seen in this room . I'm sure if I had one of the
gold albums on the wall it would be worth more!

Truthfully, I don't know what to do with it, but I can't seem to bring myself to throw it out because of the Carpenters connection. Oh well. I'm sure people have kept stranger things. Shut up. 

It would appear that I'm not really a material girl despite living in a material World.  Other than my Carpenters stuff, I have many books, but nothing extremely valuable. I don't really shop until I drop. Unless, it's at Vinnies. After all, what is wrong with being a cheapskate economical? 

Naturally I do have several trinkets and hand made cards from the boys. These were usually made at school or purchased from the Mother's Day stall for a few bucks. But I still have to keep them. They're priceless. Even the rather eye-catching lime green and gold clown figurine Mr 14 gave me when he was only five or so. 

Additionally, at some point we may require a second house to display our collection of soccer trophies. Never having played any sports growing up. this is something I've had to resign myself to. 

So there you have it.  Those are my most treasured items. That is all for today. I must go and stroke my shag carpet. Err... or something...

Linking up for I Must Confess , Open Slather and Mummy Mondays. 


What is your most treasured item?

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On hobbies and why I don't vlog

For many years I have wished that I had different hobbies and interests. My top four desirable interests would be:

• Sport
• Gardening
• Cooking
• Sewing

I feel that if you spend time doing the above activities then at least you have something to show for it. Meanwhile the type of passive things I do make it seem like I'm just a lazy-arsed time-wasting biatch.

These are:

• Reading
• Writing
• Blogging
• Listening to music
• Obsessing over Karen Carpenter
• Mindless web surfing and Facebook scrolling
• Aerobics

The only one that is actually helpful in life is doing aerobics. Yet somehow I never seem to look or act like those annoyingly perky and ripped aerobics instructors. Weird.

Out of all of those desired hobbies I potentially could become interested in cooking. After all, I do love food and eating. It's just that there is a certain level of organisational skill and multi-tasking that is necessary. I do not possess these attributes. Hello, self-diagnosed ADD. The internet doesn't lie, does it?

I have made some tasty chicken soup recently and some other Weight Witchy stuff. But what I really like is: CAKIES. 

However, I won't take up baking. Because if I did bake cakes then I would eat them. ALL of them. I couldn't stop at one. The only way I can avoid temptation is to never have the temptation there in the first place.


What else was I going to say?

Did I mention that I think I have ADD?

Anyway, what I was going to say before I lost my train of thought was, I basically still like all the same things I liked when I was 12.  It's comforting to know I haven't matured beyond a tween. On the other hand, I liked Nanna music (Carpenters), so maybe I was just a really mature 12 year old? Yeah, it must be that. Ahead of my time. Wisdom beyond my years and all that. Yep, totally that. 

Today I was actually supposed to be talking about vlogs. (A vlog is a video blog for the uninitiated). Specifically if I've ever made one. I haven't. Which is interesting, since I call blogging my  hobby. I didn't say I was actually any good at any of these hobbies, did I?

The reasons I've never vlogged are simple:

• I don't know how.
• I'm shy.
• I don't speak much above a whisper.
• I wouldn't know what to talk about.
• I'm strikingly beautiful and it would just make everyone jealous. 

It's possible that I made the last one up. Using possible in the sense of totally clear. Just so we're...um, clear.

However, I will put vlogging on my list of things to do in an attempt to push myself out of my comfort zone and blogging rut.

Not that these posts of me rambling on about nothing aren't totally fascinating and entertaining. Pffffft. Of course they are! It's just that I could mix it up a bit. I could verbally ramble on a video for a change. As soon as I have a personality transplant. To say I'm not particularly chatty in person is a slight understatement. Using slight in the sense of... Um, whatever the opposite of slight is. Huge? 

But getting back to hobbies. I've never been good at any of those desirable hobbies or skills because I'm a daydreamer.  It's not very handy when you're off with the pixies and a ball darts by your vacant face. For some reason, team mates become incensed. Can't think why. It's only a game. Sniff. 

Which leads me to another point. I don't really like any sort of games. Sport games, card games, board games, PS4, XBox, and just games, really. And although I'm a Facebook fan, I don't do Candy Crush or Farmville or any sort of Ville. (Yes, I'm still in Boganville, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone). No games for this girl. 

Maybe I really am just totally anti-social? Who knows? I'm definitely not the competitive type. So I don't really have any intense urge to win or see the point of it all. Shrugs. 

When it comes to gardening, I think I'm more of an indoors person.  In fact I went outside into the sun yesterday, blinking and confused by the brightness.  I should probably get out more. 

As far as sewing goes, I guess I'm just too impatient and again, inclined to daydream. There was also the infamous Sewing Of The Finger Incident Of 1983 when I was in Year 7. I think it hurt, from my vague memory. Plus, I've always been totally spoiled and pampered by my Mum who rocks the whole cooking and sewing thing. There was no need to do it myself. Ahem. 

But it's all good because I can read, write and blog like a boss. Am I right? Rhetorical question. Please don't answer. I'm also very good at being delusional daydreaming. Winning!

I also know the lyrics to every Carpenters song ever recorded and every intricate detail of Karen Carpenter's life right down to her autopsy report. Yes, I'm deranged. This is baffling because when it comes to celebrities and celebrity gossip I have zero interest. In fact, I have no idea who half of the modern day celebrities and recording artists even are. Did I mention I'm weird? 

Okay, this weirdo is done here for now. 

Linking up for I Must Confess, Open Slather and Mummy Mondays.


Have you ever vlogged? Which hobbies do you wish you enjoyed?

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The Truth About Lies

Today I am talking about lying and deception. Truthfully, I am a terrible liar.  I simply cannot do it. Okay, maybe that was a lie...

I'm sure I've told a few polite little white lies that we all do from time to time.

You know the kind.  You say: Yes, your baby is gorgeous! Meanwhile you're thinking: Doesn't look like a monkey AT ALL. This is completely awful but necessary at times.

As far as telling a despicable or heinous lie, I seriously can't remember ever doing so. If I did try this, I would never be convincing.

There is a theory that people with Asperger's  don't lie or can't lie. I'm not sure if this is true or not. Maybe I'm just a nauseating Pollyanna type. Or perhaps I simply don't have any imagination or acting ability.

Apparently the Aspergian inability to lie is related to impairment in something called Theory of Mind. Also, it is common trait to be blunt and direct, valuing justice and truth. Admittedly, I do not possess this bluntness myself, but I still find it  impossible to lie. 

Naturally, there are certain things I tell myself that don't ring true: just one slice of cake won't hurt and so on. I write complex and detailed To-Do Lists now and again which turn out to be total fiction. Whoops.

I'm not exactly sure how people can live a life of deception. Particularly by having torrid extra-marital affairs. I know I sound very preachy and judgemental, but I just couldn't achieve the complex level of pretence. It's probably my tendency to forgetfulness, but I'd end up being caught in my own web of lies. I just cannot lie. It's a shame really. Because obviously I have offers ALL THE TIME. I've had to leave a string of dejected would-be lovers all sobbing and bereft.

Okay, that IS a lie. There has never been even the remotest chance of me having an affair because nobody has ever even attempted to get their leg over. Not once. HMPH!

Well, there was one creepy old dude with pants up to his armpits who got a bit too close in a crowded lift once. Plus, a crusty old octogenarian who chatted me up briefly at the Community centre where I attended my (off-campus) Tafe course. It's nice to know I've still got it if Mickey Blue Eyes ever decides to trade me in or drop off the perch! FTW!

I suppose I can slightly stretch the truth at times. Especially here on this blog and also by telling Mickey Blue Eyes that an article of clothing is an old favourite I've just dusted off out of the wardrobe instead of brand new. But I might forget to pull the tags off. Sprung. 

I'm sure I've lied by omission. Plus there are the inevitable excuses and fairy tales you end up telling your children. The shops are shut. Those rides at the shops are 'out of order'. And yes, of COURSE Santa is real! 

Maybe I'm not such an angel after all. Oops. 

Perhaps I need some further practice at fibbing. After all, as an introvert there are so many times I need to avoid socialising or small talk. Here are ten excuses to get out of these awkward events:

1. I'm late for an appointment! 
2. I have a terrible throat infection.
3. The kids are sick. (It turns out that having children is quite convenient!)
4. My car is broken down.
5. I already have a prior engagement.
6. My grandmother passed away and I'll be attending a funeral. (One grandmother passed away long before I was born and the other many years ago and I never attended the funeral [it's complicated], but details!) 
7. The kids have sporting commitments.
8. Busy, busy, busy with ongoing renovations and painting of our house. Simply can't have people over. (The fact that our house is in a permanent state of CHAOS [as in Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome] is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT).
9. I'll be out of the country! (Sadly I'm never out of the country, so I have to have this fantasy somehow). 
10. Finally, if all else fails you can always use the good old 'something suddenly came up' excuse from The Brady Bunch. Yes, I've watched all the groovy and high-brow shows.

Of course I'd never be able to pull off any of the above excuses in person. But these days a quick and dodgy old text message makes it so much easier to just glibly lie! Yay for modern technology!

So I think we've all learned something today. We're pretty much all big fat liars and we're lying if we say we never lie. With that, I'll end it here. I'm off to do the house work. Which is a whopper. But you already knew that.

Linking up for I Must Confess.

Can you lie? What's the biggest lie you've ever told? 

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The Nessville Saga So Far

Welcome to another marvellous Monday. The only day of the week when  you feel like a scotch before 9AM. Or is that just me?

Raychael over the Mystery Case  blog has started a Blog Exchange
 group. I thought this sounded like a great idea to help me out of my blogging rut. We are supposed to 'blog like no one is reading', which is quite apt in my case. No one is. Sigh. Or hardly anyone, really. She suggested writing about our blogging thoughts and experiences so far. 

So here goes:

I started blogging in March of 2012. It was an idea I'd toyed with off and on since I had started writing those God awful 'Christmas Letter Updates' to send out to friends and family. These are a chance to regale every one with all the wondrous achievements and awe-inspiring adventures you've been up to through the year. 

The only problem was, there was nothing particularly awe-inspiring or wondrous about my mediocre little life. So I did the only sensible thing and wrote them 'tongue-in-cheek' and definitely 'taking the piss'. They were a hit among my very polite friends. I considered starting a blog but dismissed it thinking I wouldn't have much to say and I certainly didn't want to bore any one. 

Then one day when I was in a completely weird, disjointed mood I decided I was over-thinking things and just did it. It seemed like it might be a fun hobby. Also, as a child and teenager I had been praised by teachers for my writing ability but I never really believed this or took it seriously. I figured having a blog was at least a way of attempting to get into a habit of doing some sort of regular writing. 

Of course I was absolutely clueless about the 'blogosphere'and had no idea that so-called 'Mummy blogs' were even a thing. Furthermore, that they are universally sneered at and considered to be the biggest pile of steaming excrement gracing the internet. So that was certainly handy to discover. 

Additionally, I had the thoroughly genius delusion that I was writing some sort of satirical parody of our life as 'bogans'. Yep, I was the classy bogan blogger. I began this space with the elegant title: Ness Of Boganville.

I figured this was a witty pun of the classic novel Tess Of The D'Urbervilles. Who wouldn't make the connection between bogans and classic literature? Makes perfect sense, right? Plus, while we're not exactly living in Struggle Street, I did grow up there and haven't ventured very far away as an adult. I like to stay classy.

Weirdly enough, it seemed that there were some folk (albeit only a minuscule amount) who found my bogan ramblings entertaining and amusing. Unfortunately, this didn't extend to Mickey Blue Eyes. For some reason he objects to being portrayed as a bogan. I can't imagine why. 

I attempted to explain to him that while many people only show the highlight reels of their (seemingly) bright, shiny, happy lives on social media, I wanted to show that my life isn't always perfect but at the same time I haven't lost my sense of humour about it. 


I plodded on with my musings. I discovered other blogs and link-ups and tentatively began participating in them. Notably, I Must Confess, which is hosted by Kirsty at My Home Truths
 every Monday. I've avoided some of the other link-ups such as I Blog On Tuesdays purely because it's all so time consuming. I could feel myself being sucked into a vortex of blog reading and commenting. I love it, but meanwhile the whole house could cave in around me and I wouldn't notice. Plus, I'm rather ad-hoc and erratic with it all these days. 

If you're just blogging as a hobby like I am, then you have to be rational and realistic about exactly how much time you want to spend on it. It's so much more time consuming than people realise, even as a hobby. So I couldn't even begin to imagine how much work, time and effort it would take to be a professional blogger. 

I really don't understand or know anything about that World. I've never attended a blogging conference and have no idea how to check my stats other than seeing the number of page views that blogger tells you when you log onto your dashboard. This is an abominably low and laughable number. It's my own fault, however. 



We do? *scratches head*

I don't blog often enough and I am absolutely abysmal at self-promotion. I have a Facebook page and I frequently forget about it. Oops.

There is a belief that blog content should be useful, so sometimes I feel like an eejit blathering on about nothing. But then I remind myself that there are a bajillion useful blogs out there and they all bore the bejesus out of me. There, I said it.

I've only ever spent about 20 minutes looking at The Organised Housewife blog (one of the most popular blogs in Oz) and I've never been so depressed in my life. If I'm surfing the web, it's because I'm procrastinating from doing the house work, not trying to find the most effective methods! But that's just me. Ahem.

It's just not my thing. Clearly I don't have a useful bone in my body and no amount of blog-reading (or writing) is going to change that. 

There is also a lot of talk about tribes and cliques within the blogging community. I think they do exist and it would be naive to think they don't. I tend to be the same as I am in person in the blogosphere. The quiet person in the corner. This is exactly the way I am in real life. So I guess I just fly under the radar for the most part.

Therefore I won't say anything pretentious like I've 'found my tribe'. What I will say is that I have found that the bloggers who've swung by here from time to time have been exceptionally kind and supportive and I'm grateful. I haven't experienced any nastiness or 'trolls'. It's easy to avoid them when you're under the radar and your main readers are your Mum and a handful of friends.

If there have been any people who were horrified with my word vomit at least they just clicked away without comment. I mean seriously, how hard is it?

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I am way too refined and dignified to be a bogan (shut up) and needed to lose the 'bogan' theme. I'm hopeless at coming up with titles. After agonising over this all-important issue, I decided to just quite literally take the bogan bit out of the title Ness Of Boganville and leave it as Nessville. Since I am always off in my own little World it seemed fitting. Plus, I can't help thinking that this form of title has worked out very well for two very prolific and high-profile bloggers Woogsworld and Edenland. 

OK, so Nessville hasn't exactly caught on in quite the same way, but, you know- details. 

I can't really figure myself out. I have this weird dichotomy where on the one hand I really do not desire to be famous, (not that there is even remotely a chance of this happening), but at the same time I guess you don't want to be completely ignored or you might as well take your writing completely offline and go scribble in a notebook. And I do that as well from time to time. 

I really am an incredibly shy, introverted and private person. It seems incongruous to share my life on a blog. There are certain things that are sacrosanct.  Things that I would never share, ever. I'm also finding that as my boys get older they have absolutely no desire to be featured in these annals. And I shall respect their wishes. Of course I'll mention them, but I will draw a line where I stop. I did not start this space to upset them or anyone in my family. It's all very well to have fun and be tongue-in-cheek but I have to be mindful of not taking it too far because they may not find it amusing the way I do. 

So that's me bumbling along in my own little World, unsure of where I fit into this thing called the 'blogosphere'. I have this space for a fun hobby, an outlet and a way of expressing myself. I express myself much better with writing than talking. In person I rarely talk. 

For some years I have managed to convince myself that I'm not really passionate about writing. Otherwise, I reasoned, I would make time for it. The theory is that we make time for the things we love. I often don't make time for it or prioritise it in my life. 

However, I read the book The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris and this changed my way of thinking. 

It's hard to sum up the book in a sentence but the basic nitty-gritty of it revolves around connecting to your true values. Towards the end of the book the author explains:

And if this goal really IS something you value, then you are faced with a choice: either act in accordance with what you value or let yourself be pushed around by your own thoughts. 
In particular, you need to watch out for this sneaky thought: 'If this were really so important to me, I'd be doing it already!' This thought is just another reason in disguise. The reasoning goes something like this: 'I haven't taken action up to now, which means it can't really be that important, which means it's not a true value of mine, which means there's no point in putting any effort into it.'
This reasoning is based on the false assumption that humans will NATURALLY act in line with their values. But if this were true, there would be no need for a book like this or a therapy such as ACT.  The fact is, many of us DON'T act on our values for long periods of time: months, years or even decades. But those values are always deep inside us, no matter how remote from them we are. A value is like your body: even if you've totally neglected it for years it's still there, it's still an essential part of your life, and it's never too late to connect with it. 

MIND. OFFICIALLY. BLOWN.  

I want to make writing a priority in my life. It may only be a hobby, but it has the same effect on me as exercise. I never wake up in the morning and have this burning and over-whelming desire to HAVE to do it. However, if I force myself to begin after a while I start to think 'This isn't so bad, I actually like this!' A while longer and I'm in a zone where I can forget the World. Suddenly I've gone from having to force myself to start to having to force myself to stop! And I feel better when I'm finished. 

Sometimes I'm embarrassed about sharing these posts. I know I'm not the most poetic, eloquent writer. My grammar is all over the place. But then I remind myself that considering who I am and my own experiences in life and my level of education, I'm not too bad. 

I mean, I failed high school English, have never been to University and have spent the last 14 years being a stay at home mother. Additionally, I have Aspergers (officially diagnosed) and ADD (self-diagnosed -but I believe, accurately so). 

I can't really compare myself to other bloggers who may be professional writers or come from a journalistic background. I'll just keep on with what I'm doing. I think of these posts as me writing a letter to friends. That's the only way I know how to write here at the moment. Hopefully I'll push myself out of my comfort zone somewhere along the way. 

Thanks for reading this rather long ramble. See you around the blogosphere!

Linking up for I Must Confess.

What are your thoughts about blogging?

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Quiet Person, Loud Mind

Hello strangers. I haven't been blogging very much lately. I must confess I do miss it quite a bit.

I guess it's a combination of things keeping me away from this space these days.  For starters I've been quite busy actually leaving the house and doing other things for once. This has to be a good thing, right?

Additionally, I don't always have access to a working lap-top. For some reason our lap-tops and internet connection are dodgy. The other reason that I have to confess is just having a case of the 'blog blahs'. I feel like I'm boring myself with the inane nonsense I write, so I must be boring every one else. Sigh.

I feel like I should probably do something different with this blog at this point, but then I don't know what that something different is. After all, I've been blogging (erratically) for over three years.

I don't really know why but for some reason I am always some 20 years behind other people my age when it comes to confidence or something. I mean, it took me until I was 41 to even consider putting anything whatsoever that I wrote out there via this blog however good, bad or indifferent it was or is. So perhaps if I live until I'm 80 I should be ready to push it to another level.

I read other blogs and articles giving people advice and opinions regarding parenting or Asperger's Syndrome but somehow I never see myself that way despite being a mother of three with an adult diagnonsense of Assburgers. (You see how I never take anything seriously..)  Who am I to give anyone advice when I'm just another person stumbling along making things up as I go?

Disclaimer: This week I am living in raging PMS Land, so I'm all sooky la la and navel gazing and morose and moody. As opposed to all the other times when I'm upbeat and chirpy and optimistic. Shut up.

This popped up in my Facebook feed today:

Image source: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/…/6632d79db6f1304a8195…

It's quite true. There is a lot of chatter in my head at the moment. Unfortunately it just seems to be nonsense chatter, so I do apologise for this post sounding scrambled and confused. As opposed to all my previous ones which were focused and insightful and purposeful. Coughs.

As I mentioned, I've been busy doing things. Principally I am about to finish my TAFE course. This is a Certificate 1 in Access To Work And Training. Now I'm pondering my next move. My first thought was that I might be able to do some further TAFE units in Library Practice. This is the diploma I obtained some decades time ago. I figured it might be a tad redundant by now, so I might be able to update or refresh my qualifications.

The only problem is that TAFE courses now cost an arm, two legs, a liver and a kidney. As well as an additional twelve billionty dollars and at least one of your children to be sacrificed with a gruesome bludgeoning. If you haven't got children they will take your bullocks or girly bits and bludgeon those instead because they figure you don't need them.

OK, I'm exaggerating slightly. But they are frightfully expensive. I spoke  to the dude who is the head teacher of the Library Practice course today and he's advised me that it may cost me at least four grand. Yikes.

Anyway, there is an information session next week which I will attend and see what they say. However, I'm starting to think it won't be an option if it's going to cost a fortune and take forever. I'm already quite ancient mature.

I think I may decide to do some volunteer work and then perhaps send my resume off to good old Library Locums and see what happens. Hopefully they will just ignore the vast, echoing, prolonged, empty and gargantuan gap in my resume. It's only 15 years since I've worked. That's nothing, right? 

Meanwhile, Mickey Blue Eyes has assured me that I don't need to worry about working from a money perspective because he's right on track with his Becoming A Millionaire plan even it's more than a decade behind schedule. But, as I like to say - details.

Therefore if I'm going to study I might be better off doing a writing course or a blogging course but I don't know which one. I mean, what courses are there for somebody who is already clearly a writerly/blogging genius? Suggestions please, bloggy friends!

In other news, Mr 11 is currently in Canberra on a school excursion. He'll be back tonight. Mr 13 is becoming Mr 14 next month and Mr 6 is his usual cheeky self.  He says so many funny things all the time, but now that I'm trying to remember them I can't. Weird.

I have their parent/teacher interviews coming up next week, so that will be interesting. Every time I go to these I feel like I'm a naughty child who is being sent to the principal's office or something. Is that just me? This is particularly strange since I was never a naughty or rebellious child and don't remember ever being sent to the principal's office when I was at school. Neurotic much?

In other news apparently half the year has vanished already. This means that the count down to Christmas will begin. Please DO NOT remind me of how many days there are to go. It will be all over my Facebook feed all too soon. Sigh.

The school holidays are also coming and we have NOTHING PLANNED. YAY!

We did consider going away but the boys were OUTRAGED by this suggestion. Clearly you can't fight genetics. The introverted/homebody gene is a strong one around here. Winning!


There is a trip to Wagga Wagga planned for September. Yes, we always stay classy. Besides, we have extended family there whom we will be visiting so it's all good. Can't wait! Except I sort of can. Because if it was already September, then there would be even less time until Christmas. I can't even.... Head hurts.

Oh well, I suppose I had better go and do some exercise and tick some more stuff off my To-Do list. So far I have ticked an amazing ONE thing off the list. Oh dear. Plus, it appears I should have added to the list: Do not lose To-Do list.

Um, where is my To-Do List? OK, I'm off to find it....

Until next time,

Hugs and cakie things,

Ness

PS: It turns out that I was sitting on the To-Do List. Oops.

Linking up (late, as usual) for I Must Confess.

Do you have a loud mind? What's going on in your head?

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Diets Be Damned

Well another Monday rolled around, funnily enough right after Sunday. Don't you just hate when that happens?  At least it's the start of another week. Another beginning... Another diet...

No wonder it's the most universally loathed day of the week! Anyway, let's talk diets. They suck. The end. 

That was a quick conversation! The truth is, I'm currently a Weight Witches member. The weird thing is that apparently you can't just twitch your nose and be instantly lighter and thinner! How rude! 

I'm trying to do that delusional thing where I convince myself that it's a lifestyle change and not a diet. I really LOVE salad, not cakies and chocolate and ALL THE CARBS. 

Which reminds me, I just had a big bowl of pasta and a small bowl of salad for dinner. It should have been the other way around. Oops. 

I've never been on any other diets. It was just pure luck, but when I was young I didn't have a weight problem. As a teen I was slender despite my Mars Bar addiction and sport aversion. 

In my 20's I did gain a little and was COMPLETELY HORRIFIED. But now I look back and realise that this was a waste of energy because I looked FINE.  It wasn't until my late 30's, after having Mr 6 that my metabolism apparently decided to go on a permanent holiday. Nice one. I guess I won't be needing it any more. Except I do. Desperately. 

Previously I had been able to pretty much eat whatever I like and as long as I exercised I stayed at a reasonable weight. Not any more. Those days are over. It's extremely tragic. Not really. I'm just like every other middle aged person. I'm not exactly sure why the human body didn't evolve so that weight was like height. You should get to the perfect number where you look and feel your healthiest and it should stay that way! 

Even though I've lost a bit of weight recently with this Weight Witches palaver I still have the usual issues with food. I eat for every other reason than being hungry. I eat when I'm sad, stressed, bored, just because it's there and just because I'm a pig and it tastes good, OKAY?? I have good and bad weeks days. 

I can't do extreme diets. Any diet that involves eliminating a certain food or food group entirely be it sugar, carbs, meat, dairy, CAKE (especially cake!), is not for me. I refuse to label certain foods as 'good' or 'bad'. 

Similarly, diets involving shakes, juice cleansing or soups - forget it. Knowing me, I will just drink the shake then think 'wait a minute, where is the REAL food? That was a drink, NOT food!' I need something to munch on. Shut up. 

I'm not immune to all the same issues as every other women. I dislike certain parts of my body, avoid mirrors as much as possible and have never worn a bikini in my entire life. I just don't have the confidence. But I still refuse to be a slave to diets.

After all, we all know that diets don't work. If they did it wouldn't be a multi-billion gazillion dollar industry. Sorry, I don't know the exact figure and I'm too lazy to Google it. Again, shut up.

Despite there being some so-called 'revolutionary' new diet plan every other day or week we all know that there is nothing revolutionary about it. It always comes down to the old 'eat less, move more' thing. That's it. So that's what I've done. The fact that the eat less part involves eating less cake and chocolate is something I find rather unfortunate. Suddenly I hear weepy violin music. 

And on that note I will end it here and go and have dessert. Of course I can have dessert! As long as it's fruit. Hmmm, I do have a slice of sticky date pudding in the fridge and dates are fruit, aren't they??

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Linking up (late) for I Must Confess. 

What do you think about diets? Have you been on any crazy ones? 

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Travel Fails

Today I am back to entertain you with some tails of my travel fails. As you can see I am still the consummate poet.  What can I say? It's a gift.
  


Sadly, this is a topic I am all too familiar with. Our travel experiences would most certainly fall into the fail category. Basically we have failed to travel to any glamorous destination. Instead we are more likely to end up in a rather exotic location -  like Dubbo.
 
Incidentally, if you typed tripadvisor Dubbo into your Google search engine I wonder what it would advise you?  Don't bother?  Stay home because your life sucks? Perhaps they should have that mocking voice that's on Stick Run on Facebook that declares "YOU'VE FAILED!!"  in a tone dripping with derision. Look I have nothing against Dubbo. It's a fine place. In fact I've discovered that there is a drive-through bakery there and multiple book shops, so it's practically my dream holiday destination now.


Anyway, enough about that. Back to my travel tails. When I was a mere lass of only 10 I went on my first and last overseas jaunt to Holland with my parents and brother. I'm not sure if 'jaunt' is the correct expression but it sounds cute so I'll go with it.  The month long stay with our family friends went smoothly and was most enjoyable. I do have some vintage footage on a DVD somewhere of me as a ten-year-old Ness with long red hair merrily skipping through the tulips, but I have no idea how to upload it here so you'll have to imagine  it.

The fail part came when we arrived at the airport, homeward bound. For some reason my parents mistakenly thought we had loads of time before departure. We were strolling around the airport when our names were called over the loudspeaker.  Cue the frantic sprint to the departure gate, arms and carry-on luggage akimbo. Sheepishly we boarded the plane amid the dagger-like stares of our fellow passengers whom we'd kept waiting.


Another time my parents rented an apartment at Nelson Bay in NSW for a week. The brochures forgot to mention we would be  sharing it with an army of cockroaches. There was also the delightful bonus of mattresses that reeked of urine. We only lasted one night before heading home.


Thus ended my travel adventures for many years. Enter Mickey Blue Eyes. From the minute we met it was evident that we were not only destined to be together, but to become a dynamic, jet-setting power couple. Forget Brangelina. Think Micess. Nessick? Um. I might have to think about that...


The point is, we embarked on many holidays including our honeymoon in Tasmania where we nearly drowned on a cruise through Hell's Gate. Now I know why they call it that. Another memorable trip involved watching the four walls of a motel room in Cairns for a day or two while a cyclone raged away outside.


Our holidays post children often seem to be road trips. One or more of the boys will inevitably end up puking in the car. This is always fun. Said no one ever.


On one trip to the Gold Coast we were visiting Sea World. As I peered into the humungous shark tank I leaned over to get a better look and my mobile phone slipped out of  my handbag and fell in with a splash.  Mick and the boys wandered down to underground viewing area. People were muttering in disgust about a phone being in there. Mr 13 (who was only 8 or so at the time) exclaimed "That's my Mum's!" We left, cheeks blazing. Classy. For the record, I did notify a staff member of what had happened but he seemed to have a 'why the f**k are you telling me?' expression. It's not like I expected him to dive in and retrieve it for me!


I fear we have another travel fail on the horizon. We talk about going away during the July school holidays but we still haven't done anything about it. Meanwhile, I've also begun the arduous process of applying for passports. I got to the point where we need to provide photos and referees and promptly forgot about it. Oops. Yep, I'd call that a travel fail of epic proportions. Well, it's not so much a travel fail as it is failing to travel AT ALL.


I've never actually managed to catch the travel bug the way some people do, so I'm relatively resolved to the fact that we may never have an epic overseas trip. But I guess you never know. It might still happen. In the meantime I can just watch half the people on my Facebook feed who all appear to be overseas at the moment.


And there is always that drive-through bakery in Dubbo awaiting me. How could  that be a failure? 


Linking up for I Must Confess.


What do your consider to be your travel fails?

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