On hobbies and why I don't vlog

For many years I have wished that I had different hobbies and interests. My top four desirable interests would be:

• Sport
• Gardening
• Cooking
• Sewing

I feel that if you spend time doing the above activities then at least you have something to show for it. Meanwhile the type of passive things I do make it seem like I'm just a lazy-arsed time-wasting biatch.

These are:

• Reading
• Writing
• Blogging
• Listening to music
• Obsessing over Karen Carpenter
• Mindless web surfing and Facebook scrolling
• Aerobics

The only one that is actually helpful in life is doing aerobics. Yet somehow I never seem to look or act like those annoyingly perky and ripped aerobics instructors. Weird.

Out of all of those desired hobbies I potentially could become interested in cooking. After all, I do love food and eating. It's just that there is a certain level of organisational skill and multi-tasking that is necessary. I do not possess these attributes. Hello, self-diagnosed ADD. The internet doesn't lie, does it?

I have made some tasty chicken soup recently and some other Weight Witchy stuff. But what I really like is: CAKIES. 

However, I won't take up baking. Because if I did bake cakes then I would eat them. ALL of them. I couldn't stop at one. The only way I can avoid temptation is to never have the temptation there in the first place.


What else was I going to say?

Did I mention that I think I have ADD?

Anyway, what I was going to say before I lost my train of thought was, I basically still like all the same things I liked when I was 12.  It's comforting to know I haven't matured beyond a tween. On the other hand, I liked Nanna music (Carpenters), so maybe I was just a really mature 12 year old? Yeah, it must be that. Ahead of my time. Wisdom beyond my years and all that. Yep, totally that. 

Today I was actually supposed to be talking about vlogs. (A vlog is a video blog for the uninitiated). Specifically if I've ever made one. I haven't. Which is interesting, since I call blogging my  hobby. I didn't say I was actually any good at any of these hobbies, did I?

The reasons I've never vlogged are simple:

• I don't know how.
• I'm shy.
• I don't speak much above a whisper.
• I wouldn't know what to talk about.
• I'm strikingly beautiful and it would just make everyone jealous. 

It's possible that I made the last one up. Using possible in the sense of totally clear. Just so we're...um, clear.

However, I will put vlogging on my list of things to do in an attempt to push myself out of my comfort zone and blogging rut.

Not that these posts of me rambling on about nothing aren't totally fascinating and entertaining. Pffffft. Of course they are! It's just that I could mix it up a bit. I could verbally ramble on a video for a change. As soon as I have a personality transplant. To say I'm not particularly chatty in person is a slight understatement. Using slight in the sense of... Um, whatever the opposite of slight is. Huge? 

But getting back to hobbies. I've never been good at any of those desirable hobbies or skills because I'm a daydreamer.  It's not very handy when you're off with the pixies and a ball darts by your vacant face. For some reason, team mates become incensed. Can't think why. It's only a game. Sniff. 

Which leads me to another point. I don't really like any sort of games. Sport games, card games, board games, PS4, XBox, and just games, really. And although I'm a Facebook fan, I don't do Candy Crush or Farmville or any sort of Ville. (Yes, I'm still in Boganville, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone). No games for this girl. 

Maybe I really am just totally anti-social? Who knows? I'm definitely not the competitive type. So I don't really have any intense urge to win or see the point of it all. Shrugs. 

When it comes to gardening, I think I'm more of an indoors person.  In fact I went outside into the sun yesterday, blinking and confused by the brightness.  I should probably get out more. 

As far as sewing goes, I guess I'm just too impatient and again, inclined to daydream. There was also the infamous Sewing Of The Finger Incident Of 1983 when I was in Year 7. I think it hurt, from my vague memory. Plus, I've always been totally spoiled and pampered by my Mum who rocks the whole cooking and sewing thing. There was no need to do it myself. Ahem. 

But it's all good because I can read, write and blog like a boss. Am I right? Rhetorical question. Please don't answer. I'm also very good at being delusional daydreaming. Winning!

I also know the lyrics to every Carpenters song ever recorded and every intricate detail of Karen Carpenter's life right down to her autopsy report. Yes, I'm deranged. This is baffling because when it comes to celebrities and celebrity gossip I have zero interest. In fact, I have no idea who half of the modern day celebrities and recording artists even are. Did I mention I'm weird? 

Okay, this weirdo is done here for now. 

Linking up for I Must Confess, Open Slather and Mummy Mondays.


Have you ever vlogged? Which hobbies do you wish you enjoyed?

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Passions

Those lovely ladies known as the Lounge Lizards apparently want to know what I’m passionate about. Well, duh, as if it isn’t obvious.

CAKIES!

From a young age I was always known for two traits. My unrelenting drive and passion. For cake. Or chocolate. This has propelled me to the dizzying heights (who wouldn’t be dizzy, with all that sugar in your system) I’ve reached today,  as a professional Fatty Boombah Bogan.

This was emphasised to me by an anecdote related to me by my mother of the time when I was around the tender age of three, or perhaps four, who knows. You expect me to remember back that far? I can’t remember five minutes ago!

Anyway, evidently Mum had taken me out shopping and paused to have a coffee. However, I had other ideas.  I kept repeatedly asking for “Something nice,” emphasising the word ‘nice’ with a posh little plum in my mouth.  This refrain went on for several minutes, while Mum attempted to enjoy her coffee.

She tried to ignore my demands. Undaunted, I continued my efforts.

“Mummy, can I please have something nice?”

Finally, after another five minutes or so of my constant nagging heartfelt pleas, Mum eventually threw me a sachet of sugar.

“Here,” she said, exasperated “have this!”

My little three year old eyes fell on it. With a tone dripping in condescension and derision I  scathingly declared:

“BIG DEAL!”

I was cute once. And I wanted something 'nice', not
a sugar sachet! HMPH.

How dare anyone thwart me from having my desired and much sought after slice of cake! CAKE, I say, not a silly old sugar sachet!

In between my frequent cakie consumption, I could be found curled up with a book, my other passion. Sometimes I traded the book for our dachshund dog, Samantha. I tried to smuggle Samantha into bed with me once. When Sammy went to doggy heaven, along came Penny and Skippa.  I was devoted to those dogs. The fact that I never had to actually clean up their crap probably added to their appeal. Penny and Skippa went on to have pups. In an essay written for school about my life, I remarked that I’d never seen anything cuter than those puppies ‘not even a human baby’.  Clearly I needed to get out more. Or all that sugar was affecting my brain. Or both. Regardless, I was besotted with books, dogs and cakies.  Not to mention chocolate.

Me with my mullet perm and Skippa, circa 1985. Classy.

My passion for baked goods and all things chocolatey, continued on in my teens when I proceeded to take the old ‘Mars a day’ slogan quite literally. I devoured a Mars Bar every single day after school, while remaining annoyingly slim. Annoying to others, I’m sure. Annoying to me now, knowing that this phenomenon will remain firmly back in 1985, along with mullet perms and bubble skirts.  The latter two can stay there. However, I want my fourteen year old metabolism back, thank you very much. Hmph.

Perhaps continuing with the syrupy sweet theme, I also developed a deep and abiding love for Carpenters music at around age 11 which has continued onto this day. This is yet another lifelong passion.  Ironically, Karen Carpenter died from an eating disorder shortly after I fell passionately in love with her voice and music. This meant I was now passionate about cakies – and the World’s most famous anorexic, something only I could achieve. So ner. After all, while others worried about trying to save the whales or the ozone layer, SOMEBODY had to focus on the important issues. What could be more important than cake and Carpenters? Don't answer that...

Then, one day, years later, there came an epoch in my life.  A ‘bend in the road’ as ‘Anne’ would say.  I was unable to become pregnant and it appeared that a little bit of weight loss might help the situation. Surprisingly, I was able to develop a new passion, a very unexpected one. Exercise.

It worked, and one by one, babies came along. With each subsequent baby my passion for exercise waxed and waned. Meanwhile, my devotion to cakies and chocolate continued unabated.  After all, I could have given them up, too, but I’m no quitter, as they say. Whoever ‘they’ are.

My singular determination and unremitting pursuit of all things sugary is what has shaped me into the person I am today. An overweight bogan with high cholesterol who knows the words to every Carpenters song. Not many people can boast about that.  Shut up.

Not to be beaten, I am now determined to reclaim my long lost passion for exercise. After all these years it appears that my love affair with cakies and chocolate must now tragically come to an end. It’s not me, it’s them. While I have passionately loved them, it appears that they do not love me. Cue hysterical sobbing.

It turns out that there is one thing that I am truly passionate about.  Yes, even above and beyond cakies and Carpenters. Three things, actually.  Three of the most important people in my life.  My gorgeous boys. I love them passionately. For them, I will give up (or cut back, anyway- ahem) on cakies. I will even move my rather large arse and break a sweat everyday, until it becomes slightly less large.  I will do it because I passionately desire to be around for a hell of a long time, to see them grow up and possibly even be a Grandma one day. 

And if I do live to be 80, then I'm eating cake EVERY SINGLE DAY until I die from a diabetic coma. You can't stop me.  

Linking up with Slapdash Mama Sarah for The Lounge.

 
Also linking with Cathy from The Camera Chronicles for Flashback Friday.

                                                           What are YOU passionate about? 

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