Book Fetish, Miracle Baby Turns 18 & Other Bits & Pieces

Good evening to you! Or morning, or afternoon, depending upon where and when you're reading this. Figured I'd check in to my lonely little blog. Because what else am I gonna do on a Saturday night? Go out. Meet people. Socialise, you say? Bahahahahahahaha.  NO.

In my defence, my Friday night was COMPLETELY WILD AND CRAZY. It was spent on the couch buried in blankets, reserving library books online. This was despite the fact that I already currently have 17 items on loan. See? Crazy shit, huh? Not so wild as it turns out. But definitely crazy. So there's that. Shut up.

I'm with you, Steve!

In other news, I'm one week in to a four week break from TAFE. Semester One, DONE! Semester Two begins July 23. Eventually I will officially be some sort of Library Technician-y thing, just like I was in the olden days (early 1990s - totally prehistoric), but, you know, different. Cause apparently they do more than just put books on shelves and things these days. Probably just as well. I may have a book fetish. See above. Ahem.

Anyway, what else can I tell you? Oh yeah, I'm still going gangbusters in my volunteer role at Vinnies. I have no idea whatsoever what 'gangbusters' really means but it sounds impressive, so let's just go with it.

Yesterday, all the phones and computers were down due to a power outage the day before. This meant we couldn't take any calls (duh!) so the other admin lady and I read magazines and copied recipes we'll likely never cook. Until the mobile phone they'd diverted calls to actually worked and then I had to answer it and speak to a person in need. Rude.

No seriously, I'd rather have stuff to DO. There was a bunch of groceries delivered and I helped unpack them. Then there was a bunch of toiletries donated from a church. Some of the hand wash bottles were not screwed tightly and had leaked. The overwhelming intermingling and clashing scents gave me a throbbing headache. Sometimes I forget I'm autistic and have sensory issues. Luckily I had some extra strength paracetamol in my bag and managed to nip it in the bud quickly.

When I finished for the day there was a bunch of food trucks setting up for the night markets, but I resisted all the churros and other treats on offer because clearly I'm broke a health fanatic. I wandered into Westpoint to get a few groceries instead.

In keeping with the health fanatic thing, a bbq chook and hot  chips were bought for dinner. In keeping with my fetish, Mickey Blue Eyes picked me up in the library car park... Just kidding! I mean yes, he did pick me up there, but not because of my fetish.  It's actually easier to do this because the parking at Westpoint is farked due to ongoing work fixing structural damage. Supposedly it's going to be resolved soon-ish. Fingers crossed.

In approximately 11 days I will officially be the mother of an adult son. Mr 17 turns 18! He was my so-called 'miracle baby' 18 years ago. Long story. Read about it here and here if you're interested.

He decided he didn't want a party but he wants to go to a buffet and feast on all the things. As you can see, I've totally instilled the health fanatic thing into him. But it's a wise decision. He's soooooo skinny. He may as well enjoy the illusion of being able to eat until you burst and remain svelte while it lasts. I believe I too was skinny once, a very long time ago. Well, perhaps not quite THAT skinny, but reasonably so. Sigh.

On that note, I know I need to do something about my weight but I'm so stuck for a number of reasons:

1. I like cake.
2. I've tried various things over the years: groups at the women's health centre, the Get Healthy service thing-y where some one rings you to discuss being healthier, a dietitian, exercise addiction (worked when I was at least 15 - 20 years younger and not menopausal), and, of course, good old Weight Witches (worked really well...until it didn't...)
3. I like chocolate.
4. Each time I did Weight Witches I ended up fatter in the long term. See above. So clearly the whole 'diets make you fat' theory definitely...erm...holds some weight for me...  (Terrible puns FTW!)
5. I like FOOD.

I generally don't talk about this shit because there's nothing more boring and super annoying than someone complaining they're fat then shoveling cake in their gob. Plus I see people in my volunteer role who don't even have basic food and I feel pathetic cause I'm basically whingeing that I have too much food. Seriously?! So I'll shut up about it now. 😥


At least I know the Mother Of The Decade Award is still mine. Managed to forget Mr 10 had an excursion on Wednesday. Consequently he missed the bus and stayed home. He was thrilled. Winning!

And now for the breathless anticipation that arrives at this time of the year. Nope, I'm not one of those lunatics who starts counting how many days until Christmas mid year. You know who you are. STOP IT.

My breathless anticipation revolves around having my tits crushed. It's time. Soon. I'm reasonably confident that all is good, but still. The FEAR. It'll be four years this year. So yeah, keep everything crossed for me!

I'm sure I could go rambling on forever but I better not. It's weird how I think I have nothing to report but then I get started and waffle on about everything and nothing. You're welcome.

OK, I better tackle those library books!  So I can borrow MORE. Look, it's a harmless fetish. You're just jealous! Sniff.

Over and out!

What's happening in your world? Do you have a (G-rated!) fetish?

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Sharing Snaps

Greetings and salutations! I'm baaaaaack!

OK, I never actually went anywhere. Whatever. I've just been knee deep in Tafe assessments. Or 'Taff' as Mickey Blue Eyes says. It's just a thing he does. Mispronounces words. Apparently vegans are veg-ins. If you know what I mean. But that's just me going off on a tangent. As usual. That's the thing I do. Where was I?

Oh, yes. Assessments. I had to do one which involved creating a digital collection then recording the meta data for the images as if you're creating an important library collection. Nice.

So when I saw that this week's Life This Week prompt is Share Your Snaps, I figured I may as well pop in and do so. Even though they're mostly ancient type snaps. Some of them are from our wedding and a holiday back the 90s. Yep, definitely ancient. Can you believe the 1990s will be 20 years ago next year?! I'm doing that tangent thing again, aren't I? Oops.

The digital collection included 10 scanned photos and 10 digital born photos. Then there had to be a few different themes or subjects. Mine was Wedding, Holiday, Dresses & Parks. Here they are all ad hoc, cause I'm not creating an important library record here. I'm just rambling on. Cause I can. So ner.

MOUNTAINS

Father and son, Blue Mountains, NSW

Blue Mountains, NSW

More mountains.

A lookout over the Nepean River. Don't ask me the name.

I forgot. Oops.

Jellybean Pool, Blue Mountains, NSW

Mind the gap.

DRESSES

And now for my frocks. Basically I just wanted to say the word frocks. It's not a proper library subject heading, so I couldn't use it for my meta data. Which is rude. Frightfully so. On with the frocks...

The exquisite creation I wore to my year 12

formal. Big bows FTW!

Isn't it just GORGEOUS? 😍

I wore this to my year 10 formal with lacy

stockings and fingerless gloves a la Madonna.

Well, it was 1986...

Silver stunner. Another 80s number.

WESTERN AUSTRALIA HOLIDAY

Perth, WA circa 1996

Fremantle, WA.  I'm wearing  a very attractive hat.

The Pinnacles, WA

Wave Rock, WA

Me near a cave in 1996. Probably the last

time I've been near a cave...

WEDDING

We scrubbed up alright in those days.

 

I love the leaded glass church windows

in this one.

One of my favourite wedding snaps, even though it's

just random.

Mick loves to say "Take it easy" so this pose seemed

appropriate.

With our parents.

That completes my snaps.  Thank you for scrolling. Auto correct says scowling, but I won't thank you for that.

In other news, it's school holidays here at the moment, this week and next. Tomorrow we're off to the Easter Show. Later in the week we'll be catching up with some friends. Also, I have yet another assessment to work on. It's a presentation I have to give, and I still haven't even decided on a topic! I'm over thinking it instead of making a decision. That's the thing I do. Over thinking and tangents. See? I've gone on a tangent about over thinking....

I'm outta here.

Do you have any snaps to share?

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Quiet Person, Loud Mind

Hello strangers. I haven't been blogging very much lately. I must confess I do miss it quite a bit.

I guess it's a combination of things keeping me away from this space these days.  For starters I've been quite busy actually leaving the house and doing other things for once. This has to be a good thing, right?

Additionally, I don't always have access to a working lap-top. For some reason our lap-tops and internet connection are dodgy. The other reason that I have to confess is just having a case of the 'blog blahs'. I feel like I'm boring myself with the inane nonsense I write, so I must be boring every one else. Sigh.

I feel like I should probably do something different with this blog at this point, but then I don't know what that something different is. After all, I've been blogging (erratically) for over three years.

I don't really know why but for some reason I am always some 20 years behind other people my age when it comes to confidence or something. I mean, it took me until I was 41 to even consider putting anything whatsoever that I wrote out there via this blog however good, bad or indifferent it was or is. So perhaps if I live until I'm 80 I should be ready to push it to another level.

I read other blogs and articles giving people advice and opinions regarding parenting or Asperger's Syndrome but somehow I never see myself that way despite being a mother of three with an adult diagnonsense of Assburgers. (You see how I never take anything seriously..)  Who am I to give anyone advice when I'm just another person stumbling along making things up as I go?

Disclaimer: This week I am living in raging PMS Land, so I'm all sooky la la and navel gazing and morose and moody. As opposed to all the other times when I'm upbeat and chirpy and optimistic. Shut up.

This popped up in my Facebook feed today:

Image source: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/…/6632d79db6f1304a8195…

It's quite true. There is a lot of chatter in my head at the moment. Unfortunately it just seems to be nonsense chatter, so I do apologise for this post sounding scrambled and confused. As opposed to all my previous ones which were focused and insightful and purposeful. Coughs.

As I mentioned, I've been busy doing things. Principally I am about to finish my TAFE course. This is a Certificate 1 in Access To Work And Training. Now I'm pondering my next move. My first thought was that I might be able to do some further TAFE units in Library Practice. This is the diploma I obtained some decades time ago. I figured it might be a tad redundant by now, so I might be able to update or refresh my qualifications.

The only problem is that TAFE courses now cost an arm, two legs, a liver and a kidney. As well as an additional twelve billionty dollars and at least one of your children to be sacrificed with a gruesome bludgeoning. If you haven't got children they will take your bullocks or girly bits and bludgeon those instead because they figure you don't need them.

OK, I'm exaggerating slightly. But they are frightfully expensive. I spoke  to the dude who is the head teacher of the Library Practice course today and he's advised me that it may cost me at least four grand. Yikes.

Anyway, there is an information session next week which I will attend and see what they say. However, I'm starting to think it won't be an option if it's going to cost a fortune and take forever. I'm already quite ancient mature.

I think I may decide to do some volunteer work and then perhaps send my resume off to good old Library Locums and see what happens. Hopefully they will just ignore the vast, echoing, prolonged, empty and gargantuan gap in my resume. It's only 15 years since I've worked. That's nothing, right? 

Meanwhile, Mickey Blue Eyes has assured me that I don't need to worry about working from a money perspective because he's right on track with his Becoming A Millionaire plan even it's more than a decade behind schedule. But, as I like to say - details.

Therefore if I'm going to study I might be better off doing a writing course or a blogging course but I don't know which one. I mean, what courses are there for somebody who is already clearly a writerly/blogging genius? Suggestions please, bloggy friends!

In other news, Mr 11 is currently in Canberra on a school excursion. He'll be back tonight. Mr 13 is becoming Mr 14 next month and Mr 6 is his usual cheeky self.  He says so many funny things all the time, but now that I'm trying to remember them I can't. Weird.

I have their parent/teacher interviews coming up next week, so that will be interesting. Every time I go to these I feel like I'm a naughty child who is being sent to the principal's office or something. Is that just me? This is particularly strange since I was never a naughty or rebellious child and don't remember ever being sent to the principal's office when I was at school. Neurotic much?

In other news apparently half the year has vanished already. This means that the count down to Christmas will begin. Please DO NOT remind me of how many days there are to go. It will be all over my Facebook feed all too soon. Sigh.

The school holidays are also coming and we have NOTHING PLANNED. YAY!

We did consider going away but the boys were OUTRAGED by this suggestion. Clearly you can't fight genetics. The introverted/homebody gene is a strong one around here. Winning!


There is a trip to Wagga Wagga planned for September. Yes, we always stay classy. Besides, we have extended family there whom we will be visiting so it's all good. Can't wait! Except I sort of can. Because if it was already September, then there would be even less time until Christmas. I can't even.... Head hurts.

Oh well, I suppose I had better go and do some exercise and tick some more stuff off my To-Do list. So far I have ticked an amazing ONE thing off the list. Oh dear. Plus, it appears I should have added to the list: Do not lose To-Do list.

Um, where is my To-Do List? OK, I'm off to find it....

Until next time,

Hugs and cakie things,

Ness

PS: It turns out that I was sitting on the To-Do List. Oops.

Linking up (late, as usual) for I Must Confess.

Do you have a loud mind? What's going on in your head?

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Soggy Sandwiches And Other Sagas

As usual I've been busy, busy, busy! Especially this week with the Oscars happening. I'm sure you spotted me on the red carpet. No? You just weren't looking hard enough. OF COURSE I was there! I dashed over on my private jet. Yes, I took my Dinner Fairy with me! Duh! OK you got me, I made that up.
 
As a matter of fact, I believe I would rather gauge my eyeballs out than attend this grandiose affair. It's much easier to sit at home in my leggings and t-shirt and wistfully survey all those glossy genetically blessed and surgically enhanced stars. I haven't seen one single movie that was nominated so I have no opinion about who should have won, I just watch it for the frocks. Anyway, the Oscars are like SO four days ago, so who even cares anymore?

Let's move on to more interesting topics. ME! Shut up. I'm fascinating. For instance, this week has involved packing school lunches, grocery shopping, exercising, doing crossword puzzles and listlessly flicking through TV stations.

Oh yeah, I did start a TAFE course. I've already learnt one VERY IMPORTANT thing:

Packed lunches SUCK.

No wonder I constantly fish out soggy sandwiches from the boys school bags. Bleurrrrrrgggghhhhhh.

Yes folks, it's always about the food with me. I'm still attending Weight Witches but haven't quite got my broom stick yet. Shut up.

So why I am doing a computer course when I'm already a technological GENIUS?  Well, it gets me out of the house. That's something. And maybe, just maybe I might end up getting one of those things that people do. Um....ah....oh dear... I can't even say the word. A..j..j..jo.....

Nope. Can't say it. But it has three letters. Starts with a J. Rhymes with 'cob'. Shudders. I haven't had one of those since....

Never mind.

One of my TAFE teachers was most encouraging, saying that she had another lady in one of her class who'd been out of the workforce for 14 years and ended up getting a job as a result of doing the course. So you never know.

But now that I've splashed all the details of my Weight Witches and TAFE all over this utterly fascinating blog you can be sure to be entertained by my EPIC FAILS.  As soon I make a public statement that I'm going to do something I'll fail. Yay me. So just pretend you didn't read this when you spot me a year from now corpulent and  unemployable. Thanks for that.

Anyway, it's all good. It's not like I'm going to end up destitute and homeless if it doesn't work out. So I figure I may as well give it a go. If it's not meant to be I've still got my Sugar Daddy, aka Mickey Blue Eyes. A much older*, wealthy**man to keep me in the this glamorous and lavish lifestyle to which  I've become accustomed.

Case in point: yesterday we finally got a plumber to fix our leaky taps, toilet and shower! Mr 10 nearly burst with excitement and pure joy at being able to do something as simple as turn a tap on and off with minimal effort. Last week involved a visit from the electrician to fix our dodgy power points which were full of ants. Guess what?

Now we can do something really avant garde:  PLUG THINGS IN! AND THEY WORK! See? I told you it was grand around here! Why on Earth would I want one of those things that start with a J anyway?

Our WiFi was also resurrected yesterday. It's been down and out as there was work being done in our street for this NBN thingamajig.  The boys reacted as if we'd won the lottery yesterday when they arrived home from school.

This Saturday is the return of the phenomenon known as Schlepping To Soccer At Stupid O' Clock. As you can see, my life is always action packed and exciting!

Anyway, must dash. Have to go and do something else that's super riveting and totally out there: Make a sandwich for lunch. At least  it won't be soggy this time. 


* He's over 50. He can get pensioners insurance. Snorts.
** Bahahahaha! He thinks he's wealthy!

Linking up for The Lounge.

Tell me, how do you stop sandwiches from going soggy?

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YAY!

I have no idea what I'm blogging about and am just rambling because my laptop/internet connection has suddenly decided to work  and I just  need to type while it works. Because it will just decide to shit itself again and it will be another six months before I can post  here and i know I'm not  using proper grammar and punctuation because I'm  in such a raving rush. 

This week has been a week of new beginnings. I started going to a writing group and enrolled for a  TAFE course. It's something about skills for further employment or some such palaver. I think  about  perhaps  attempting to  work in library again but then I never do anything about it, so we'll see. Remains to be seen where I'm going with this  because every time  I think about the dreaded old job interview I feel sick and hysterical and COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT. I haven't been for one since..... Never mind. 

It was a bloody long time ago and it didn't go well. But enough about that. I'm jumping topics and not making sense. 

I wish I didn't have to rush and this is total rubbish. One day I may write an entire sentence that is well thought out, interesting and expressive. This isn't one day. Sorry. Not sorry. Sort of sorry. Oh God. Save me.

All I want is a laptop and an internet connection that work. Is that too much to ask? And time. Lots of lots of time.

Mickey Blue Eyes and I were just having a discussion this evening about people on the internet. We decided that I am a very good lurker. Not just online, but in real life. I lurk around our house. I'm lurking through life. I like to lurk. I could probably put down lurking as a skill on my updated resume. No?

Mickey Blue Eyes is making me a cup of tea. That's interesting information, is it not?

I guess it's back to writing on paper for me. You remember those weird things? Pens? Paper? Swooon. I love writing with pen and paper.

Just to prove how utterly classy I am, here's some further evidence:  I am becoming a KMart fan. Oh well. At least it's a change from Big W and Best & Less. Admittedly not much of a change, but still a change. Sort of. Oh OK, it's still cheap and nasty. But that's what's good about it! I can buy shit. And as long as I don't think about those folk slaving in sweat shops in Bangladesh or China just so I can buy an eight dollar top it's all good. Gulps.

Mickey Blue Eyes is doing the dishes. I knew there was a reason I married this man. One day I will have a gleaming new kitchen with a dishwasher. This isn't one day.

Yesterday I went to my writing group. I actually read some shit out loud in front of people and didn't explode and die.  Who knew?

Today I went out for lunch with my friend Kimmy. Tomorrow I have a counselling appointment and Thursday and Friday I start my course. For this introverted Aspie with a preference for lurking that is FULL ON.

Related: I've been doing some of those personality profiling/testing thingys. You know, because I'm totally self-absorbed and all, and anyway, it's really freaky how accurate they are! I'm an INFP.  

Which obviously stands for Intelligent, Nice, Fabulous Person! Or something....

You know those days when you go out for a really lovely lunch and then come home full, not really caring about whether you have dinner or not.  Right on cue, all three boys: "What's for dinner?"


Similarly, if we go out to an occasion where there is shit tonnes of food served, such as on Christmas Day. You roll back into the car afterwards feeling like you never want to eat EVER AGAIN. Or, you know. at least until tomorrow. Cue all three boys: "I'm hungry!"

One day there will FINALLY be a Dinner Fairy in this house. I mean, I'm sure the boys would look quite cute in fairy costumes. Today isn't one day.

On the weekend two out of three boys signed up for the soccer season again. So now we'll have the joy of schlepping to soccer training several nights a week and waking up early on Saturdays for games again. Yay.

Mr 13 wants to give a new club a try, so he's also signing up very soon. This means I'm going to be super busy between soccer, Tafe, Writing Group and Weight Witches. Yes I know, all you full time working Mums out there, I can hear the violin music too. Sad, is it not?

What else can I tell you? Surely I can make something up? Oh! We started applying for passports! And you know what that means, don't you??!!!

Absolutely nothing!

We'll apply for them and still end up going to Dubbo for our holidays!

One day we will embark on an extravagant, adventurous around the World trip.  London, Paris, New York! THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD! It has to happen, people! This isn't one day.

So to round off this completely ridiculous, rambling post, I'll leave you with this quote:

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

Hang on, is that right?  Oh well, whatevs, as Mr 13 would say.

Stay tuned for the next rambling stroll down Nessville Lane!
 

 

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