Welcome to another fabulous Friday! My second favourite F word. You all know what the first one is!
FOOD! Duh.
Don't know what YOU were thinking.
Anyway, it's time to join in yet again for Friday Reflections!
I decided to merge two of the prompts because I thought they tied in neatly together.
They are:
What did you want to be as a kid?
And...
Did you think you'd be doing what you're doing now?
I was never really one of those kids who woke up one morning and thought: when I grow up I want to be a doctor/teacher/ballerina.
Just as well because; a) I can't stand the sight of blood, b) I struggle to even get through my kids homework, and c) I have the grace of an elephant on roller skates.
If I thought about it all, I most likely assumed that I was going to be the next Enid Blyton. I adored her novels and read them obsessively. However, I never had a real plan.
I've always been a dreamer not a doer. Consequently I've kind of drifted through life. And here I am.
I always knew exactly what I DIDN'T want to do, but at the same time had no clear idea what I DID want to do.
As high school cruised towards it's inevitable finale, I had to make a decision. I enjoyed studying German. In fact, I was the genius who somehow failed English in my HSC and passed German. Go figure.
If I remember those heady mullet-permed days correctly, I decided to apply to university to study interpreting and translating. The only catch was, you had to be bilingual, fluent in two languages. It turns out that a couple of years of high school German wasn't enough to make me fluent. Who knew? So that idea was over with before it even started.
To cut a long story short, I ended up studying at TAFE, something they used to call Library Practice (it's called something else now), and worked in libraries for a while. Until I didn't. Then I did again. Then I had babies and stayed home to look after them. Fast forward fifteen years. I'm still here, even though they're not babies anymore. Details...
Anyway, my point is, I now believe I was on the right track with the library thing. I always imagined that someday I'd go back to it, but now I have this cavernous fifteen year gap in my resume. Oops.
That's the thing about me. I'm not really one thing nor the other. I'm not a driven, career-oriented person, but I'm not really a house-wifey type either. It's another one of those curious dichotomies or contradictions about me: I'm a homebody and introvert, who definitely prefers being in my own space most of the time, but I'm not actually brilliant at being the person in charge of running the home. Weird.
Hmmm, I guess I really should have been an eccentric stay-at-home millionaire or something...
Or a professional daydreamer! Which is almost the same thing as being a writer. Well, except for the actual writing and getting paid part...
Unfortunately, the thought of being an author was always more of a fanciful daydream. A kind of 'yeah wouldn't that be nice' thing rather than having a concrete plan and goal.
The only thing I really knew for sure as a child, was that one day I wanted to be a wife and mother. So in that sense, you could say I am doing what I thought I'd be doing.
Admittedly, when I just thought and daydreamed about being a mother it was SO much easier! I was a perfect parent. Until I had kids!
In my fantasies of being a grown up I was a tall, regal auburn haired 'Anne Shirley' type. I was married to my very own Gilbert Blythe. I had endless patience and wisdom to impart to my angelic fictional children.
Scenes played out in my head like something out of a movie or sit-com. I must have spent way more time watching television when I was growing up than I realised!
To be honest, I never really thought specifically about what I'd be doing in my 40's. When you're a kid 20 seems ancient, let alone 40!
I didn't have such a great grasp of reality. Possibly due to all those Enid Blyton books and American sit coms I consumed. I'm sure I figured I'd be much better looking than I am and have a beautiful, immaculate home.
But you know what? Real life is way more interesting. 'Perfect' is overrated.
As it turns out, even my childhood idol, Enid Blyton, was far from perfect. Well, according to her wikipedia page, anyway. If it's on the internet it must be true, right? Snorts.
Her novels have also been criticised as being all sorts of dodgy things, including racist, in today's world. But they did provide me with some flights of fancy and a love of reading, so no harm done.
And while I may not have followed in her footsteps, I can still tap away here and indulge my love of words. Yeah, you're totally welcome!
Sure, there are moments when I wish I was more ambitious and goal-oriented, but for some one who has drifted and daydreamed through life, I don't have too much to complain about.
Smashing!
Linking up for Friday Reflections.
What did you want to be as a kid?
Did you think you'd be doing what you are now?
Hello strangers. I haven't been blogging very much lately. I must confess I do miss it quite a bit.
I guess it's a combination of things keeping me away from this space these days. For starters I've been quite busy actually leaving the house and doing other things for once. This has to be a good thing, right?
Additionally, I don't always have access to a working lap-top. For some reason our lap-tops and internet connection are dodgy. The other reason that I have to confess is just having a case of the 'blog blahs'. I feel like I'm boring myself with the inane nonsense I write, so I must be boring every one else. Sigh.
I feel like I should probably do something different with this blog at this point, but then I don't know what that something different is. After all, I've been blogging (erratically) for over three years.
I don't really know why but for some reason I am always some 20 years behind other people my age when it comes to confidence or something. I mean, it took me until I was 41 to even consider putting anything whatsoever that I wrote out there via this blog however good, bad or indifferent it was or is. So perhaps if I live until I'm 80 I should be ready to push it to another level.
I read other blogs and articles giving people advice and opinions regarding parenting or Asperger's Syndrome but somehow I never see myself that way despite being a mother of three with an adult diagnonsense of Assburgers. (You see how I never take anything seriously..) Who am I to give anyone advice when I'm just another person stumbling along making things up as I go?
Disclaimer: This week I am living in raging PMS Land, so I'm all sooky la la and navel gazing and morose and moody. As opposed to all the other times when I'm upbeat and chirpy and optimistic. Shut up.
This popped up in my Facebook feed today:
It's quite true. There is a lot of chatter in my head at the moment. Unfortunately it just seems to be nonsense chatter, so I do apologise for this post sounding scrambled and confused. As opposed to all my previous ones which were focused and insightful and purposeful. Coughs.
As I mentioned, I've been busy doing things. Principally I am about to finish my TAFE course. This is a Certificate 1 in Access To Work And Training. Now I'm pondering my next move. My first thought was that I might be able to do some further TAFE units in Library Practice. This is the diploma I obtained some decades time ago. I figured it might be a tad redundant by now, so I might be able to update or refresh my qualifications.
The only problem is that TAFE courses now cost an arm, two legs, a liver and a kidney. As well as an additional twelve billionty dollars and at least one of your children to be sacrificed with a gruesome bludgeoning. If you haven't got children they will take your bullocks or girly bits and bludgeon those instead because they figure you don't need them.
OK, I'm exaggerating slightly. But they are frightfully expensive. I spoke to the dude who is the head teacher of the Library Practice course today and he's advised me that it may cost me at least four grand. Yikes.
Anyway, there is an information session next week which I will attend and see what they say. However, I'm starting to think it won't be an option if it's going to cost a fortune and take forever. I'm already quite ancient mature.
I think I may decide to do some volunteer work and then perhaps send my resume off to good old Library Locums and see what happens. Hopefully they will just ignore the vast, echoing, prolonged, empty and gargantuan gap in my resume. It's only 15 years since I've worked. That's nothing, right?
Meanwhile, Mickey Blue Eyes has assured me that I don't need to worry about working from a money perspective because he's right on track with his Becoming A Millionaire plan even it's more than a decade behind schedule. But, as I like to say - details.
Therefore if I'm going to study I might be better off doing a writing course or a blogging course but I don't know which one. I mean, what courses are there for somebody who is already clearly a writerly/blogging genius? Suggestions please, bloggy friends!
In other news, Mr 11 is currently in Canberra on a school excursion. He'll be back tonight. Mr 13 is becoming Mr 14 next month and Mr 6 is his usual cheeky self. He says so many funny things all the time, but now that I'm trying to remember them I can't. Weird.
I have their parent/teacher interviews coming up next week, so that will be interesting. Every time I go to these I feel like I'm a naughty child who is being sent to the principal's office or something. Is that just me? This is particularly strange since I was never a naughty or rebellious child and don't remember ever being sent to the principal's office when I was at school. Neurotic much?
In other news apparently half the year has vanished already. This means that the count down to Christmas will begin. Please DO NOT remind me of how many days there are to go. It will be all over my Facebook feed all too soon. Sigh.
The school holidays are also coming and we have NOTHING PLANNED. YAY!
We did consider going away but the boys were OUTRAGED by this suggestion. Clearly you can't fight genetics. The introverted/homebody gene is a strong one around here. Winning!
There is a trip to Wagga Wagga planned for September. Yes, we always stay classy. Besides, we have extended family there whom we will be visiting so it's all good. Can't wait! Except I sort of can. Because if it was already September, then there would be even less time until Christmas. I can't even.... Head hurts.
Oh well, I suppose I had better go and do some exercise and tick some more stuff off my To-Do list. So far I have ticked an amazing ONE thing off the list. Oh dear. Plus, it appears I should have added to the list: Do not lose To-Do list.
Um, where is my To-Do List? OK, I'm off to find it....
Until next time,
Hugs and cakie things,
Ness
PS: It turns out that I was sitting on the To-Do List. Oops.
Linking up (late, as usual) for I Must Confess.
Do you have a loud mind? What's going on in your head?
