No Idea

Well it seems that I have run out of ideas for blog posts. Unthinkable really, as I am totally fascinating and a deep and complex thinker so one would never think this could ever happen. I mean I can think about two very important things at the same time. Cake and Karen Carpenter. The juxtaposition of thinking of fattening, sugary carbs and the World's most famous anorexic simultaneously, proves what an intense thinker I am. Plus, I used the word juxtaposition without being entirely sure of what it means and if it's in the correct context. But I still used it. Ditto simultaneously. Using big words means you're deep and intellectual, right?

Anyway, I figured why not traul the Internet looking for inspiration and ideas for blog posts. Groundbreaking right? I'm sure nobody has ever done that before. Alternatively, I could just back away from the lap top and give it a rest but the advice is to always write even you don't feel like writing and clearly I'm a very serious writer, practically a literary genius really so I need to be dedicated to my art. I owe it to the World to not deprive them of my sheer brilliance. Or something. Shut up.

After a quick Google search I have stumbled upon the following brilliant suggestions here, some of which I may just have to give a whirl. Apparently they will make my blog HOT. It's already hot though, so after this I expect it will be SCORCHING. Be careful in case your eye sockets spontaneously combust while reading this due to the level of scorchingness ( it's a word, right?).

IDEAS

RUN A CONTEST/GIVEAWAY

This would be an absolutely sterling idea if I actually had a prize to deliver. Honestly though, aren't contests just a teensy, tiny little bit -well...tiresome. All that comment on this, like that or tell us why you want to win in 25 words or less and you might win some miserable little thing that you managed to exist without perfectly easily for decades. Or is that just me? No wonder I never win anything, not even the bloody meat raffles at the RSL. They are totally rigged I reckon.


REVIEW A BOOK/FILM

This would actually involve going to see a film, something I rarely do.  I did manage to catch that About Time one with Rachel McAdams and I thought it was crap while every one else who's seen it seems to love it. Does that count as a review?

I do not wish to review books. This would make feel like I'm back at school writing essays. *shudders*


MAKE A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE/TUTORIAL

I know nothing. About everything. I have no advice, knowledge, skills or insight about anything on the planet ever.


INTERVIEW SOMEONE

Brilliant idea. Except that I happen to be all alone right now. And I can't be bothered ringing, emailing or visiting anyone because of the fact that I'm all alone right now and frankly, I'm enjoying the peace. So bugger that.


CRITICISE A WEBSITE BLOG OR PERSON

Now that is just mean! What kind of a person or website would suggest doing such a horrible, mean spirited thing just to get people to click on your blog? Haven't they ever heard the saying 'if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'? What a disgraceful suggestion. I can't believe anyone would ever suggest such a thing. Hmph! Oh wait.. you see what I did there?


CREATE A PHOTO POST

If you've ever seen my photos, you'll wish you hadn't. So I'm sparing you the affront to your eyes by not taking up this option. You're welcome.


WRITE AN INSPIRATIONAL OR MOTIVATIONAL POST

Eat cake. That's inspirational enough for me.


SHARE RECENT TRAVEL EXPERIENCES

In January we went to the NSW Central Coast which is basically like Boganville with a beach. We like to keep it classy. I blogged about it here.


WRITE DOWN A CONSPIRACY THEORY

I do have this conspiracy theory. It's about the Dinner Fairy. I reckon she likes to hide out with the House Work Fairy in some mysterious location where they drink wine and laugh at us. Naughty bloody fairies.


WRITE A POEM OR SING A SONG

I thought these were supposed to be ideas to make people actually want to read your blog not want to run away shrieking!


SHARE A RECIPE

Here are two of my favourites:

Toast

1. Take one or two slices of bread.
2. Pop them in the toaster.
3. Take them out when they pop up.
4. Top them with butter and/or any spread of your choice.

Two-Minute Noodles

1. Open and pour in seasoning sachets.
2. Pour over the boiling water.
3. Walk away to wait the allotted two minutes and totally forget about them for a good 20 minutes until your starving and indignant child reminds you.
4. Not to worry - they will still be hot - serve.

TELL A JOKE

I can't think of any jokes except Mr 5's favourite  Knock Knock one:

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ipe!
Ipe who? (say it out loud to get the 'punchline').

Yep, stand up comedy, here I come. Or not.


BUST A MYTH

I reckon it's a myth about having oodles of time when your kids are at school. It's only about 15 minutes from when they're dropped off until it's pick-up time, right? Seems like it. I'm sure there's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere too and those pesky Dinner and House Work Fairy's have something to do with it. They're probably busily manipulating time to make it race instead of doing what they're supposed to do - cooking and cleaning. Hmph. There must be some scientific evidence or study somewhere to support my conspiracy/myth thing. The truth is out there as Mouldy and Scumpy used to say.


POST A RHETORICAL QUESTION

Isn't this post, and indeed the whole blog, just utterly and completely FASCINATING? No??!! Hey - it was meant to be rhetorical!


THANK YOUR AUDIENCE FOR FOLLOWING YOU

If you have stuck with me until the end of this and many other tedious posts you definitely have my thanks. Thanks a bazillion, gazillion, dudes.

Free cakies to each and every one of you to express my gratitude. Well, they are virtual cakies so you will have to imagine them or, you know, go and buy them or bake them yourself. It's the thought that counts, right?

 Linking up with Robo Schmobo for The Lounge.

                                               What ideas can you think of for blog posts?