Nessville Turns Five!

Hello, beautiful people. Yes, you. You are most certainly beautiful. How do I know? I'm psychic. Or is it psycho...?

Anyway, I'm glad you're here.  If you're a regular, thank you! If you're new, welcome!

Today. I would like to examine the reasons for my blog and it's title.

This should be interesting. Or deadly dull. You decide. 

Still here? Good!  I knew you'd find it fascinating. Okay, on with the show.

This topic/prompt is quite timely. You see, it has come to my attention that I began this blog approximately five years ago in March of 2012.  Yes, it's been that long! I can't believe it either.

So, I guess I should actually celebrate a five year blogaversary? Why not?! Okay, cakies all round! Streamers, balloons and trumpets and unicorns and fairy dust and...

And, just me. In my own little world...

As usual.

That's what this place is about. All of the above. Unicorns and all. It's my own little world, so I can make it whatever I want. Sniff. 

It does seem odd to keep talking to myself here for five years. But the thing is, I'm NOT a talker. So I tap away and fling a few words and thoughts at the internet. A small  number of people read them and I still get to pretend I'm in my own little world, instead of writing and posting things publicly for potentially anyone to see. I'm weird and slightly delusional. A woman of illogical contradictions intriguing dichotomies, I think you will find.

I've discussed why I started this blog before.  Additionally, there was a post about the whole saga behind Nessville. You may pop over and read them if you like. I'll wait until you come back. Or, just give it a miss. I don't mind. 

Either way, you still get CAKE.

Well, a picture of a cake. Same thing, isn't it?  

At this point, I would just like to be all mushy for a moment and thank each and every one of you dear readers. Thank you for taking the time to have a bit of a squiz* at my ramblings. I do waffle on so, never providing anything useful other than a teensy bit of amusement (I hope), so I appreciate it. And I'm not even going to make any jokes about there only being one of you... There's at least two. DOH.

Self-deprecation is my default setting. Ever so sorry! I am trying to being less so. After 46 years, it's uphill work to retrain oneself. But it must be done. Slowly. I'm sure I'll be bursting with confidence by the time my 10th blogaversary rocks around... So make sure you stay with me to find out! 

Meanwhile,  in addition to cake, wine sounds good. So cheers!

* 'Squiz' is Australian for 'having a look'. Makes perfect sense, right...

Linking up for Friday Reflections with the prompt:


 The reason behind your blog and its name.


What are the reasons behind your blog (if you have one)? 

What milestones are you celebrating? 

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No Idea

Well it seems that I have run out of ideas for blog posts. Unthinkable really, as I am totally fascinating and a deep and complex thinker so one would never think this could ever happen. I mean I can think about two very important things at the same time. Cake and Karen Carpenter. The juxtaposition of thinking of fattening, sugary carbs and the World's most famous anorexic simultaneously, proves what an intense thinker I am. Plus, I used the word juxtaposition without being entirely sure of what it means and if it's in the correct context. But I still used it. Ditto simultaneously. Using big words means you're deep and intellectual, right?

Anyway, I figured why not traul the Internet looking for inspiration and ideas for blog posts. Groundbreaking right? I'm sure nobody has ever done that before. Alternatively, I could just back away from the lap top and give it a rest but the advice is to always write even you don't feel like writing and clearly I'm a very serious writer, practically a literary genius really so I need to be dedicated to my art. I owe it to the World to not deprive them of my sheer brilliance. Or something. Shut up.

After a quick Google search I have stumbled upon the following brilliant suggestions here, some of which I may just have to give a whirl. Apparently they will make my blog HOT. It's already hot though, so after this I expect it will be SCORCHING. Be careful in case your eye sockets spontaneously combust while reading this due to the level of scorchingness ( it's a word, right?).

IDEAS

RUN A CONTEST/GIVEAWAY

This would be an absolutely sterling idea if I actually had a prize to deliver. Honestly though, aren't contests just a teensy, tiny little bit -well...tiresome. All that comment on this, like that or tell us why you want to win in 25 words or less and you might win some miserable little thing that you managed to exist without perfectly easily for decades. Or is that just me? No wonder I never win anything, not even the bloody meat raffles at the RSL. They are totally rigged I reckon.


REVIEW A BOOK/FILM

This would actually involve going to see a film, something I rarely do.  I did manage to catch that About Time one with Rachel McAdams and I thought it was crap while every one else who's seen it seems to love it. Does that count as a review?

I do not wish to review books. This would make feel like I'm back at school writing essays. *shudders*


MAKE A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE/TUTORIAL

I know nothing. About everything. I have no advice, knowledge, skills or insight about anything on the planet ever.


INTERVIEW SOMEONE

Brilliant idea. Except that I happen to be all alone right now. And I can't be bothered ringing, emailing or visiting anyone because of the fact that I'm all alone right now and frankly, I'm enjoying the peace. So bugger that.


CRITICISE A WEBSITE BLOG OR PERSON

Now that is just mean! What kind of a person or website would suggest doing such a horrible, mean spirited thing just to get people to click on your blog? Haven't they ever heard the saying 'if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'? What a disgraceful suggestion. I can't believe anyone would ever suggest such a thing. Hmph! Oh wait.. you see what I did there?


CREATE A PHOTO POST

If you've ever seen my photos, you'll wish you hadn't. So I'm sparing you the affront to your eyes by not taking up this option. You're welcome.


WRITE AN INSPIRATIONAL OR MOTIVATIONAL POST

Eat cake. That's inspirational enough for me.


SHARE RECENT TRAVEL EXPERIENCES

In January we went to the NSW Central Coast which is basically like Boganville with a beach. We like to keep it classy. I blogged about it here.


WRITE DOWN A CONSPIRACY THEORY

I do have this conspiracy theory. It's about the Dinner Fairy. I reckon she likes to hide out with the House Work Fairy in some mysterious location where they drink wine and laugh at us. Naughty bloody fairies.


WRITE A POEM OR SING A SONG

I thought these were supposed to be ideas to make people actually want to read your blog not want to run away shrieking!


SHARE A RECIPE

Here are two of my favourites:

Toast

1. Take one or two slices of bread.
2. Pop them in the toaster.
3. Take them out when they pop up.
4. Top them with butter and/or any spread of your choice.

Two-Minute Noodles

1. Open and pour in seasoning sachets.
2. Pour over the boiling water.
3. Walk away to wait the allotted two minutes and totally forget about them for a good 20 minutes until your starving and indignant child reminds you.
4. Not to worry - they will still be hot - serve.

TELL A JOKE

I can't think of any jokes except Mr 5's favourite  Knock Knock one:

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ipe!
Ipe who? (say it out loud to get the 'punchline').

Yep, stand up comedy, here I come. Or not.


BUST A MYTH

I reckon it's a myth about having oodles of time when your kids are at school. It's only about 15 minutes from when they're dropped off until it's pick-up time, right? Seems like it. I'm sure there's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere too and those pesky Dinner and House Work Fairy's have something to do with it. They're probably busily manipulating time to make it race instead of doing what they're supposed to do - cooking and cleaning. Hmph. There must be some scientific evidence or study somewhere to support my conspiracy/myth thing. The truth is out there as Mouldy and Scumpy used to say.


POST A RHETORICAL QUESTION

Isn't this post, and indeed the whole blog, just utterly and completely FASCINATING? No??!! Hey - it was meant to be rhetorical!


THANK YOUR AUDIENCE FOR FOLLOWING YOU

If you have stuck with me until the end of this and many other tedious posts you definitely have my thanks. Thanks a bazillion, gazillion, dudes.

Free cakies to each and every one of you to express my gratitude. Well, they are virtual cakies so you will have to imagine them or, you know, go and buy them or bake them yourself. It's the thought that counts, right?

 Linking up with Robo Schmobo for The Lounge.

                                               What ideas can you think of for blog posts?

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The Topic Of Titles

Morning all and welcome to another marvellous Monday morning! Don't you just love them? No? Oh well, that is where I come in to provide you with this entertaining post and make it a bit less painful. Or not. At the very least it will provide you with a minute or two of procrastination from your Monday To Do List. You're welcome.

It's time for another round of confessing and today's topic is: If I started over, what else might I have called this blog? This has opened a veritable minefield of possibilities that for some inexplicable reason I had never paused to consider being utterly unoriginal and bereft of ideas when it comes to titles.

The inspiration for the title Ness Of Boganville was the classic novel Tess Of The D'urbervilles. I basically decided to go with a pun of that title because I couldn't think of anything else and naturally bogans and classic literature seem like a perfect match. Okay, maybe not. But I like the contradiction of that. I'm weird. But you already knew that.

Back to the minefield. I have now realised that had I given it more than two seconds of thought, there was literally a plethora of possible titles I could have gone with while still maintaining my classy bogan theme. Because if you're onto a good thing why mess with it?

There are so many other classic works of literature that I could have ripped off used as inspiration.

Such as:


The Taming Of The Shrew - The Taming Of The Bogans
As You Like It - As Bogans Like It
The Last Of The Mohicans - The Last Of The Bogans
A Tale Of Two Cities - A Tale Of Five Bogans
Bleak House - Bogan House
Great Expectations- Bogan Expectations
Little Women - Little Bogans
Pilgrim's Progress - Bogan's Progress
The Importance Of Being Earnest - The Importance Of Being Bogans
Sons And Lovers - Sons And Bogans
What Katy Did - What Bogans Did
Much Ado About Nothing - Much Ado About Bogans
The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz - The Wonderful Bogans Of Oz
Tales From The Arabian Nights - Tales From The Boganville Nights
The Secret Garden - The Secret Bogan
Journey To The Centre Of The Earth - Journey To The Centre of Boganville ( or the arsehole of the universe as some people think of it. Hmph. )
A Room With A View - A Room With A Bogan
The Lord Of The Rings - The Lord Of The Bogans
From Here To Eternity - From Here To Boganville
The Great Gatsby - The Great Bogan
A Town Like Alice - A Town Like Boganville
For Whom The Bell Tolls - For Whom The Bogan Tells ( I rather like that one.)
A Passage To India - A Passage To Boganville
A Good Man Is Hard To Find - A Good Bogan Is Hard To Find
Brideshead Revisited - Boganville Revisited
Women In Love - Bogans In Love

And I could go on and on. The possibilities are endless. The other alternative may have been to use other novel titles as puns. The kind of novels that they used to make into a trashy mini-series in the 1980's with big hair, shoulder pads and lots of melodramatics (don't pretend you never watched them) usually written by somebody like Barbara Taylor Bradford or Jackie Collins:

A Woman Of Substance - A Bogan Of Substance
To Be The Best - To Be The Bogan
Voice Of The Heart (also the title of a Carpenters album) - Voice Of The Bogan
Power Of A Woman - Power Of A Bogan

The World Is Full Of Married Men - The World Is Full Of Married Bogans
The Bitch - The Bogan
Poor Little Bitch Girl - Poor Little Bogan Girl
Hollywood Wives - Boganville Wife

There are also quite a few modern chick lit classics that would have offered viable puns:

The Secret Dream World Of A Shopaholic  - The Secret Dream World Of A Cakeaholic
Bridget Jones's Diary - Bogan Ness's Diary
I Don't Know How She Does It - I Don't Know How Bogans Do It?? (Not sure if you'd want to know. Okay, scratch that one.)
The Devil Wears Prada - The Bogan Wears Best & Less (my personal favourite and definitely in the running should I ever decide to start a fashion blog, being ever so stylish. Shut up.)
The Nanny Diaries - The Bogan Diaries
In Her Shoes - In Her Thongs
This Charming Man - This Charming Bogan
The Rise And Fall Of A Yummy Mummy - The Rise And Fall Of A Bogan Mummy

I also could have taken a trip back to the books of my childhood beginning with Enid Blyton. Who else?

The Famous Five - The Bogan Five (Oh I say, that title is smashing!)

And Lucy Maud Montgomery:

Anne Of Green Gables - Ness Of Bogan Tales
The Blue Castle - The Bogan Castle
The Story Girl - The Bogan Girl or The Aspie Girl


Alternatively, I could have left the World of literature for my inspiration and called on music instead. What better place to start than with my favourite Carpenters Albums:

Ticket To Ride - Ticket To Boganville
Close To You - Close To Bogans
A Song For You - A Bogan For You ( Interestingly, if I was being serious for a millisecond - perish the thought - the title A Blog For You actually kind of works)
Christmas Portrait - Bogan Portrait
Made In America - Made In Boganville

Or just for something completely different ditch the Carpenters (GASP) and use classic rock album titles:

Dark Side Of The Moon - Dark Side Of The Bogan
Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Bogans
Blood Sugar Sex Magick - Bogan Sugar Sex Magic? (No. Just - no. Sorry for that  mental image...)
Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy - yes, apparently The Who have an album with this title. I'm not sure I want to know where they got their inspiration from but Meaty Beaty Big And Bogan does have a ring to it.
Stop Making Sense - Stop Making Bogans 

At the very least I should stop making up silly bogan blog titles. Well, just a couple more. It's fun. Yes, I need to get out more.

A few other random possibilities:

Days Of Our Bogan Lives
Lifestyles Of The Broke And Aimless
Diary Of A Mad Boganville Housewife

What I am ultimately saying is that if I hadn't used my current title I would have just used another pun being completely unimaginative and devoid of even a shred of originality. So there you have it. My complete list of possible pun like titles. Classy.

Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I Must Confess.

Which one do you think I should have used? Or can you think of any others to add to my lists? 

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What Does My Family Think Of My Blog?

Good morning, all you groovy people! It's Monday, which means it's time to confess something. This week the wonderful Kirsty is asking the question: What does your family think of your blog?


They think it's awesome, of course! After all, everyone's entitled to my opinion! Okay, I made that up....


Hmmmm, Let me think about this.


They never really say much about it so I haven't got much to go on. The 12 year old has mentioned perhaps once that he thinks it's "Sort of cool." My nine year old doesn't mention it at all. However, if I ever post anything on Facebook about him, regardless if it's something positive, he doesn't like it whatsoever, so I'd presume he's less enthusiastic. Mr 5 doesn't know what a blog is and that I have one so he has no opinion.


Meanwhile, Micky Blue Eyes has complimented me on my writing ability, declaring me 'witty'. Despite this, he apparently has some objections to being portrayed as a bogan (can't imagine why) and thinks I should be 'more positive' suggesting I change the blog title. Since I'm lazy and quite unimaginative when it comes to thinking of titles, I just decided to completely ignore him.


Besides, I conducted a comprehensive survey (posting a question on Facebook counts as a survey, right?) asking if I should change it and the results were unanimous. The whole two people out of my 150 plus Facebook 'friends' who politely pretend to read my blog said I should keep the title because I'm totally famous on the Internet and a Professional Bogan of Kath n' Kim proportions. Or something.


My only concern about it - the blog in general and the title- is if it ever impacts negatively on my boys. I wouldn't want them to ever be picked on or bullied and called a 'bogan' as an insult because of my blog. I don't worry about it too much because hardly anyone reads this space except a handful of people who already know us. I'm assuming they wouldn't wish to associate with us whatsoever if they really thought we were horrifically embarrassing bogans. They get that the bogan theme is intended to be somewhat tongue in cheek.  Anyway, I'm prepared to either ditch the blog  altogether or change it if ever did become a problem for my boys.


This is not very likely as the number one fan of  this blog is my Mum who has always believed that I'm some sort of writerly genius just waiting to happen ever since some of my primary school teachers told her this was a possibility. More than 30 years  ago. Still hasn't happened. Oops. But it's nice that my Mum never gives up on me and thinks this blog is work of blinding brilliance. Thanks Mum. I don't think my Dad ever reads it. Not because  he doesn't care but because when he's online all  he ever thinks about is Manchester United with the same kind of intensity and passion I reserve for my Karen Carpenter fascination. My brother, who inherited all the artistic talent, happily designed the banner/header thing for me so I assume he somewhat approves.


In the end it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks, anyway. It's like Dr Phil says (you have to love Dr Phil's sayings) : You wouldn't worry about what other people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did.


Similarly, I wouldn't worry about what others thought of my blog if I knew how seldom they did. I mean, I'm not exactly trying to change the World here or writing anything profound. I'm just having a bit of fun for the heck of it. So I'm not concerned about who does or doesn't like or read it.  I'll just continue banging on to myself  here for as long as it makes me  happy. So ner!


Linking up with Kirsty from My Home Truths for I  Must Confess.







Enough about me and my blog….

What do YOU think of me and my blog?

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