Then And Now

Welcome to another fabulous Friday! My second favourite F word. You all know what the first one is!

FOOD! Duh.

Don't know what YOU were thinking.

Anyway, it's time to join in yet again for Friday Reflections!

I decided to merge two of the prompts because I thought they tied in neatly together. 

They are:

What did you want to be as a kid?
And...

Did you think you'd be doing what you're doing now? 

I was never really one of those kids who woke up one morning and thought: when I grow up I want to be a doctor/teacher/ballerina.

Just as well because; a) I can't stand the sight of blood, b) I struggle to even get through my kids homework, and c) I have the grace of an elephant on roller skates. 

If I thought about it all, I most likely assumed that I was going to be the next Enid Blyton. I adored her novels and read them obsessively. However, I never had a real plan.

I've always been a dreamer not a doer. Consequently I've kind of drifted through life. And here I am.

I always knew exactly what I DIDN'T want to do, but at the same time had no clear idea what I DID want to do.

As high school cruised towards it's inevitable finale, I had to make a decision. I enjoyed studying German. In fact, I was the genius who somehow failed English in my HSC and passed German. Go figure.

If I remember those heady mullet-permed days correctly, I decided to apply to university to study interpreting and translating. The only catch was, you had to be bilingual, fluent in two languages. It turns out that a couple of years of high school German wasn't enough to make me fluent. Who knew? So that idea was over with before it even started. 

To cut a long story short, I ended up studying at TAFE, something they used to call Library Practice (it's called something else now), and worked in libraries for a while. Until I didn't. Then I did again. Then I had babies and stayed home to look after them. Fast forward fifteen years. I'm still here, even though they're not babies anymore. Details...

Anyway, my point is, I now believe I was on the right track with the library thing. I always imagined that someday I'd go back to it, but now I have this cavernous fifteen year gap in my resume. Oops.

That's the thing about me. I'm not really one thing nor the other. I'm not a driven, career-oriented person, but I'm not really a house-wifey type either. It's another one of those curious dichotomies or contradictions about me: I'm a homebody and introvert, who definitely prefers being in my own space most of the time, but I'm not actually brilliant at being the person in charge of running the home. Weird. 

Hmmm, I guess I really should have been an eccentric stay-at-home millionaire or something... 

Or a professional daydreamer! Which is almost the same thing as being a writer. Well, except for the actual writing and getting paid part...

Unfortunately, the thought of being an author was always more of a fanciful daydream. A kind of 'yeah wouldn't that be nice' thing rather than having a concrete plan and goal. 

The only thing I really knew for sure as a child, was that one day I wanted to be a wife and mother. So in that sense, you could say I am doing what I thought I'd be doing. 

Admittedly, when I just thought and daydreamed about being a mother it was SO much easier! I was a perfect parent. Until I had kids! 

In my fantasies of being a grown up I was a tall, regal auburn haired 'Anne Shirley' type. I was married to my very own Gilbert Blythe. I had endless patience and wisdom to impart to my angelic fictional children.

Scenes played out in my head like something out of a movie or sit-com. I must have spent way more time watching television when I was growing up than I realised! 

To be honest, I never really thought specifically about what I'd be doing in my 40's. When you're a kid 20 seems ancient, let alone 40! 

I didn't have such a great grasp of reality.  Possibly due to all those Enid Blyton books and American sit coms I consumed. I'm sure I figured I'd be much better looking than I am and have a beautiful, immaculate home.

But you know what? Real life is way more interesting. 'Perfect' is overrated. 

As it turns out, even my childhood idol, Enid Blyton, was far from perfect. Well, according to her wikipedia page, anyway. If it's on the internet it must be true, right? Snorts.

Her novels have also been criticised as being all sorts of  dodgy things, including racist, in today's world. But they did provide me with some flights of fancy and a love of reading, so no harm done.

And while I may not have followed in her footsteps, I can still tap away here and indulge my love of words. Yeah, you're totally welcome!

Sure, there are moments when I wish I was more ambitious and goal-oriented, but for some one who has drifted and daydreamed through life, I don't have too much to complain about. 

Smashing! 

Linking up for Friday Reflections. 

What did you want to be as a kid?

Did you think you'd be doing what you are now? 

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Ten Things I Like About Me

Hello there! It's Monday and the merciful end of the school holidays!

Once again I'm joining in for Life This Week. 

Today's prompt is: 10 Things You Like About You. 

I had to think about it and I was struggling.  I eventually came up with this list:

1.I have a cute sense of humour 
2. I am honest
3. I am loyal
4. I am kind
5.I am resilient
6. I am resourceful
7. I am not at all materialistic
8. I am quiet (I've decided that being quiet can be positive because I don't gossip or have verbal diarrhoea. Written diarrhoea is my specialty, however..coughs...)
9. I am a very loving, demonstrative mother (in the end that's all that really matters)
10.I have a lovely shaped head (so everybody told me when I shaved my head because of chemo)

Observe my lovely shaped head. Be very jealous. 

Somehow even after writing this list I still wasn't convinced. Oftentimes we can't see ourselves the way others do. Or maybe that's just me... 

Anyway, I asked my Facebook friends what they liked about me.

The number one answer was my sense of humour. It's odd because I'm really not funny at all in person. Like I've said before, I'm quiet and shy. So my sense of humour is only apparent on Facebook and on this blog. But that's good enough, right? Who cares about real life? All our friends are in the computer anyway! 

So it's settled. I'm officially a comedic genius! You're laughing sarcastically hysterically right now, admit it. See? 

Looking at the list again, I sound like some one's pet dog. Loyal, kind, always thinking about food... Okay, that last point wasn't on the list. But it's true. Yep, I'm sort of like a puppy.  Cute to have around, but completely useless. You can't help but find me endearing anyway. Am I right? 

Meanwhile, having a lovely shaped head does come in handy if you ever have to have a round of chemotherapy. It's a highly underrated quality. I think people should start putting it on resumes and dating profiles. Truly. Why not?

That way people would know in advance what they were getting themselves in for. Should your partner ever get cancer or decide to become a skinhead or a hare krishna, at least they'll have a pleasing noggin. 

I mean, thank goodness I don't have a 'head like a racing tadpole', as the saying goes. I have no idea why the heads of racing tadpoles are so abhorrent... Oh wait... They're tadpoles. Yeah. YUCK. 

And as for being quiet. What an absolute GIFT that is. Haven't we all known some one we wish would just SHUT THE FUCK UP? 

Furthermore, it turns out that people like my writing! Who knew? It often seems like crickets are chirping over here. 

Also, the fact that I am obsessed with partial to a bit of cake was pointed out as an admirable quality. See? Cake brings people together. It's important! I always knew it. 

It's good to see people protesting about important issues.

Another positive trait was the fact that I'm thoughtful and polite to puppies. As you should be. Puppies are cute. See above. 

According to another friend my antipathy to all things domestic was something to commend. After all, she could relate! To which I say:

UNDOMESTIC GODESSES UNITE! (Except not at each others houses because we don't want to clean up). 

However, THIS comment from the wonderful Kirsty Russell over at My Home Truths was THE BEST:

Kirsty Russell I love your self-deprecation and the fact you can make the most mundane of facts, very funny and very interesting. I love your persistence and resilience too. You've slapped down cancer (both yours and your husband's), you've embraced a late diagnosis of Aspergers, you've endured loss and you are raising beautiful boys. You rock x

That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks Kirsty! She's right. I DO rock. Quite literally. 

It's one of those weird (but wonderful) Aspie things. But the way I see it, it's movement. Which means exercise. So...WINNING!

In fact, as a teenager that was the only exercise I got. Rocking away in my room to Carpenters music (or ABBA or Barbra Streisand). Some people like to head bang to heavy metal. I rock to easy listening. You got a problem with that? 

This is called being resourceful. Plus, after years of going backwards and forwards to various shrinks I finally figured out that I'm Aspie myself! (And subsequently got an official diagnonsense). 

Additionally, I worked out how to create a blogger account and provide you with all the wit and wisdom I write here! You're welcome! See? SO resourceful. Or something...

So there you have it. Ten things I like about me!

But enough about me! What else do YOU like about me?!

Just kidding...

What do you like about YOU? 

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What I've Learnt About Blogging

Hello dear people! I'm a bit late to the Friday Reflections party, but I thought I'd chime in anyway. 

The prompt I've chosen is: Things you've learnt since you started blogging. 

At first I felt like I should not choose this prompt. After all, what do I know about blogging professionally? So I should mention that if you're looking for advice about how to get millions of eyeballs on your blog and make shit tonnes of cash I've got nothing to tell you. Oh wait. There is this: do the exact opposite of everything I did. 

I pretty much logged onto blogger one day and just started churning out journal like entries in a spectacularly ad hoc and lackadaisical fashion. Yeah, don't do that.

However, I still have a few things to say about blogging as a hobby. 

Here goes: 

DON"T write like no one is reading

I've heard the advice 'write like no one is reading' a lot.

NO. Don't do that.

Guess what? Someone will read it. Even if it's only your Mum to begin with. As far as I can gather it's still pretty much my Mum reading here. Hi Mum! 

All I'm saying is, it's not a really intelligent idea to write about anything you wouldn't be comfortable discussing in person or having family and friends know about you.

I do try to be as honest as possible within reason. But some things are better kept to myself. 

Don't write about other people's stuff

This ties in with the previous point. Some things are just not my stuff to blog about. Particularly because I have children. I'll admit that I've made mistakes in the past, but now I try not to blog about my boys. Or at least keep it to a minimum.  I don't post photos of them or use their real names here. Some people will argue that you shouldn't have to censor yourself and all that. But I think you need to be mindful of this. If you're still hellbent on writing about all and sundry in your life perhaps asking permission first is the way to go. 

Don't feel guilty about spending time and/or money on your hobby blog

If I had any other hobby you could think of you can bet that I would never even think twice about this. Many times people will be all superior and insist that they simply don't have time to be online. First of all, the time I spend blogging and on Facebook may be the time that others spend watching the footy or the entire series of Game Of Thrones on Netflix. I don't do those things. I prefer blogging or reading. And yes, Facebook. So what? To me, watching sport is just as boring as my hobby might seem to others. 

Plus, what's wrong with spending money on hobby blogging? 
The amount of money that Mickey Blue Eyes has spent on his various hobbies over the years must be in the hundreds if not thousands. There's been soccer, breeding finches (continuing), bonsai's, photography, astronomy, aquariums.. to name a few. Yet for a long time I felt guilty about spending a cent on this blog. Not anymore.

Related: I signed up to do the Blog With Pip and Blog Magic
 courses next month.  

Other things I've learned:


I am terrible at self-promotion

I really, really suck at this. Hopefully the above course will help me to get through some of these barriers. We'll see. I'm a total contradiction here: I dislike being the centre of attention but at the same time I don't want to be totally ignored. Otherwise what's the point? 

I'm a much better writer than I think I am

Self-doubt about my writing ability is still something I struggle with on an ongoing basis. But I've thought about it and realised that I'm not THE BEST writer and I never will be. BUT...I'm actually pretty good for who I am, my level of education and experiences in life. I'm some one who failed high school English, never went to university and has spent the past 15 years being a stay at home mother. Additionally, I'm also on the spectrum. Taking all that into consideration I am so much better than I think. I need to own that! 

On the other hand...

I'm a shit photographer

This blog is an assault to your eyeballs. Oops. Sorry about that! But I'm really crap at taking photos. So I just need to concentrate on what I can do and keep writing. Related: I don't have an Instagram account for this very reason. There's really no point!

I'm a technophobe

I don't really understand all the different technical stuff and social media platforms. I have a Twatter Twitter account but don't use it much these days.

There's always some one who's better than you

There's always going to be other brighter shinier better blogs and writers. There just is. The only thing I can do is just keep plodding on doing what I can do. Because not writing at all feels worse. 

I don't care about stats and 'likes'

Just as well. They're abysmal. But WHO CARES? I'm blogging for a hobby so I actually have the freedom to not worry about it. I may as well enjoy it!

I'm completely 'useless'

Apparently you're supposed to create useful content. Oops. I try to make my pointless ponderings as entertaining as possible. Beyond that, I've got nothing! Useless blogging FTW! 

It's fun to join in with the blogging community

I like joining in with blog link ups. For one thing they often provide me with a prompt. Otherwise I might run out of nonsense to blog about. As impossible as that sounds! Plus you can actually make online connections. On the other hand it's important to remember to not get too discouraged if everyone doesn't read your blog. It's impossible to read and comment on every single blog. 

I'll never say never

So far I've never even attempted to make money with this blog. Currently I still have no plans to do so. I have a sneaking suspicion that doing so may take all the joy out of it. However, never's a long time, so I'll never say never. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. 

It's OK to have bloggy breaks

In fact it's probably a very good idea. This blogging caper can be very addictive! I need to get up and move a bit and try to be offline sometimes. Snorts. 

Let's not get too carried away...

Linking up (late!) for Friday Reflections .

What are your thoughts about blogging?

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The Month That Was September

Another September has disappeared. It seemed to make such a fleeting appearance. Sexy old September seduced us into spring then slunk away into clouds and wet weather. Then became all sultry again. Make up your mind, September! Oh wait. You have. And you're out of here. Just in time for October. Funny about that. 

But we were talking about September. Right. So let's get on with it.

Insert exciting September stuff HERE.  

Hmmmm, I'm sure there was SOMETHING exciting. Sort of. Kind of. OK, not really. 

But there was all the usual boring life stuff. Maybe I'll do that thing where you add 'and shit' to the end of every sentence to make it sound all cutting edge and gangsta and...erm... shit. 

Here goes:

Read some books and shit.  Did the housework and shit. Did all the usual sleeping and eating and shit. Moped and mulled, loved and lived, plodded and planned. And shit. 

Totally works! That sounds SO EXCITING! And shit. Maybe a bit more emphasis on the shit part. Oh well, I tried. 

Sexy old September did, in fact, have it's moments.

It all kicked off with Father's Day. We enjoyed a meal out at a Chinese Restaurant. Let's not talk about the resulting MSG headache  the next day. DOH. 

The month plodded on and I did so many exciting and avant garde things that I can't even remember what they are. This may sound strange to you but it happens when you're such a social butterfly.

Ok, you caught me. I'm not a social butterfly. But I'm trying. And I did leave the house each week this month! That's something. 

There was usual shopping, plus a visit to the library. Always thrilling when you're a dedicated bookworm. Look, we can't all be party animals. I stand by my love of libraries. 

In contrast with my usual ad hoc approach to blogging, this month I blogged consistently two to three times per week! You're welcome! 

September was the month I decided that I'm totally winning at life. 

I pondered on some important topics such as beginnings and life as a dog.  

I joined in for the first time with Friday Reflections and attempted some fiction. I was thrilled to be chosen for that week's featured writer! 

There was more mundane stuff when I took Mr 7 and 12 for dentist appointments. I was a super proud mumma because they handled the experience so well while I was FREAKING OUT.  Yep, I'm such a mature adult. 

However, there was some mature adulting stuff related to another doctor's appointment. It was revealed that I have high cholesterol and I started medication. I also got a referral to see a dietitian and then proceeded to eat like some sort of crazed, deprived person about to be locked up in a dungeon and starved. As you do. OK, as I do. I'm classy like that. 

Related: I did quite a bit of cooking, but then I just ate it and didn't photograph it. SO weird. 

Oh yes, I also attended a de-cluttering workshop held by my local council. More information on that and I round up of what I learnt coming soon! 

We also enjoyed a night out without the kidlets thanks to my parents. We went to an Indian restaurant with a bunch of friends. The next day Mickey Blue Eyes and I wondered what exactly it was that we  all used to talk about a decade ago. These days it seems to be about all our ailments: deteriorating eye sight, hearing, knee operations, surgeries and, of course, cancer, just to name a few. Fun times.

Related: when did we go so freaking OLD? 

Now it's school holidays! We've enjoyed some chaotic quiet days at home. Pyjama days are THE  BEST. 

However, I did manage to escape the nut house last Tuesday for a girl's day out. My friend Julie picked me up and we headed to the Central Coast for the day. We had lunch and then visited our other friend, Kim who moved up there earlier this year.

The next day THIS happened: 

A bee hive. It was in a tree in our front yard.

The Bee Movie! Right there in our front yard! There were thousands and thousands of bees swarming, buzzing and scaring the bejesus out of the boys. We had to call a professional to come and take it away. 

It's interesting because my late Pop used to be an Apiarist. Some years ago my parents also had a hive in their backyard. Look, I know there's some sort of logical explanation why these things happen. Spring. Pollen. Bees. Makes total sense. But there's a possibility that it has something to do with my Pop as well, right? 

It's been such glorious weather that we decided to end September with an impromptu picnic. So we set out on Friday, which turned out to be conveniently blustery and freezing. Oh well. We had fun anyway! 

And that concluded another sensational September! 

Now bring on the countdown to Christmas! And shit. 

Linking up for The Month That Was and IBOT

Images: Pexels; Giphy

What did you get up to in September? 

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Daylight Savings - Like Or Loathe?

It's that time of the year again!  Today we are talking about daylight savings. So let's get on with it.

Insert witty words about daylight savings HERE.

Mystical, magical thoughts and musings. Wonderful writings the likes of which have never been read or seen before and  never will again. Impassioned prose full of meaning and purpose. Poetic, eloquent language with assurance and ease. Persuasive, decisive, distinguished debate that leaps from the page. Or the blog? 

Or, you know, just the dumb shite I normally churn out. Yeah, definitely the latter. You're welcome!

So what can I say about daylight savings? Do I love it? Or loathe it? I'm going with a third option: DGAF. 

Let me clarify that for you: Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

Look,  what I'm saying is I don't really have strong feelings about it one or the other. People seem to REALLY get their knickers in a twist about it.  

Is it just me or does it seem like the older generation are generally in the loathe category while the middle aged and youngsters don't care? 

Of course when I'm talking about the 'older generation' I mean my parents age (they're in their 70s). Related: my mother is a staunch hater of this phenomenon. She always has been. 

I did a bit of lackadaisical google about the origins of daylight savings. Yawn. I can't seem to even drum up any interest. Maybe I'm in a weird mood. Or just plain weird, period. Again, definitely the latter. 

I just don't have an issue with  daylight savings. Well, apart from remembering to put clocks forward or back. On exactly which day, and whether it's forward or back. If it wasn't for Facebook I'd probably totally forget about it. 

The argument FOR daylight savings is the fact that if you have to go to work you still have a bit of daylight left when you get home. 

It doesn't really effect me greatly which is why I really don't care one way or the other. I suppose it takes a while for my body clock to adjust and then just when I'm getting used to it, it's time to change back. This can be ever so slightly annoying. However, I just don't seem to be that worked up about it. It's just one of those things that happens every year right along with the footy grand final. And frankly I don't really give a flying fuck about either of those things. 

I do enjoy this time of year, though. I like spring, even though it doesn't particularly like me. SO rude. Related: I have hideous hay fever. ACHOO! 

I mean, I have children and I still DGAF about daylight savings. They fight me about sleeping every night anyway. Now we can just do it an hour earlier! Or later... or whatever... 

So I put the clocks forward and  just get on with my life. And with that, I find I have nothing more to say on this topic.  

Here's a few more funnies instead:

May I present to you a handy multiple choice question:

What do you think about daylight savings?


Do you a) love it, b) loathe it, or c) DGAF? 

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If Toys Had Feelings

It's another fabulous Friday! I'm joining in again for Friday Reflections with a lovely little poem based on the prompt:

If toys had feelings. Write a post or story and get creative! 

IF TOYS HAD FEELINGS

If toys had feelings, they'd hate the toy box
Barbie would emerge, shaking her blonde locks
"I'm free!" she would shout triumphant, and then
March off, leaving behind bland old plastic Ken

Toys DO have feelings, that delightful doll house
The complex jigsaw puzzle, the cute cuddly mouse
Huggable, lovable teddy bears sit all in a row
Their expressions hide all the things they know

If toys had feelings they'd be alive
Full of adventure, daring to strive
Round marbles gleaming ethereal hues
Ballerinas perched in glittering shoes

If toys had feelings, the little Lego Man
Would bustle about his magic Lego Land
Suddenly it's clear there's more than you can see
You'll fly the wishing chair, climb the faraway tree!

Toys have feelings, I believe they do!
Just open your mind, you'll see it too!
The rusty toy truck forlorn and dejected
Mr Five has left him alone and rejected

Building blocks scattered with abandon and glee
Played with by all day by creative Miss Three
A train set whirs along the track, chug-a-chug-chug
Match box cars weave around the pattern on the rug

Toys have feelings? Why yes, of course! 
See the quirky grin on the quaint rocking horse?
The rocket ship that blasts boldly to the moon
 A music box moves us with a melancholy tune

Dainty cups on jaunty saucers, a tea party for two
Don't hurt their feelings, whatever you do! 
Sip the pretend tea and sigh in sheer delight
Cherish those toys with all of your might!

Toys DEFINITELY have feelings, I have decided
This fanciful thought must not be derided
Toys recall the feelings we didn't think would last
Joy, innocence, childhood memories long past

Toys remind us of the playful side of life
To make time for laughter, cast aside strife
Enjoy those toys like you are still young
Their magic and mystery has only just begun!



Linking up for Friday Reflections and FYBF. 

What was  your favourite childhood toy? 

Do you make time to be playful? 

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Life As A Dog

Every morning I stumble out of bed dazed and disoriented. I trudge out to the living room and peer outside. And there is she is: Queen Cookie, our beloved dog. Resplendent in the sun. She perches on her cushion on the back verandah in bliss. We adopted her from an animal shelter a couple of years ago and she's been an awesome addition to our family.

Meanwhile I blunder on, trying to coax reluctant children out of bed and off to school. I wonder: would it be easier to be a dog? 

Reasons I think it would be easier to be a dog: 

• She gets to lie around in the sun all day.
• Like me, Cookie is also a breast cancer survivor. Unlike me, she's blissfully unaware of this fact. She doesn't even have to go for regular mammograms!
• She's completely unperturbed by her greying fur. 
• While she's lying there in the sun I'm pretty sure she's not thinking: but what am I DOING with my life? 

• She may have had puppies, we're not sure, but they're not her responsibility anymore.  Furthermore they're not going turn up for Sunday lunch, bringing their laundry and asking to borrow some cash.  
• She doesn't have to think about housework. In fact, the dirtier the better! Like all the dogs I've known, her favourite thing is rolling around in the dirt after a bath.
• She gets THE BEST pats, belly rubs and cuddles. 
• Going for a walk can often seem like a bit of an effort for me, but for her it's the most exciting thing EVER. 
• She doesn't even think about her age despite the fact that every year is supposedly seven (or something) in dog years. 
• She takes the time to stop and smell not just the roses but every damn thing. (Okay, maybe that's a bit gross...)

On the other hand, it must get terribly boring being a dog. Which is why our Cookie Monster has tried to liven up her life by bolting out the gate and going for a wander a couple of times. Related: we think we know how she ended up in a dog shelter.

About a year or so ago she managed to wander off several blocks away, following another dog. Perhaps she had a tryst with her boyfriend. It turns out that the other dog belonged to a girl who knew Mr 15 from school. I was at home posting frantic messages on Facebook while Mickey Blue Eyes scoured the neighbourhood. Long story short: the girl eventually saw my posts and the local pound delivered a trembling Cookie back home in their van. She was suitably sheepish but seemed happy to be here again. 

Her adventure over, she was back to her favourite spot in the sun.

Yep, life as a dog is pretty darn tough. 

Linking up for IBOT.

If you could be an animal, which one would you be? 

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