Online Lessons

The internet has taught me a good many things. In no particular order they are: 

• There is an inordinate number of dickheads out there.
• Luckily, there are just as many awesome people out there to balance it out.
• I seem to be fortunate or clever enough to avoid the dickheads (so far) and only encounter a lot of awesome.
• I am not alone. There are lots of other Aspergian people out there, like me.
• I am not the only weird person who loves Karen Carpenter/Carpenters.
• I am not the only introvert. Introverts LOVE the internet.
• The internet has allowed me to connect with like-minded people and taught me that I can communicate with others, even if it's not verbally.
• The internet has also taught me that are an extraordinary amount of people who like cats. Even if they're grumpy. Especially if they're grumpy. The cats, that is. Not the people who like them. Well, they might be, I suppose.
• The internet has proved that Andy Warhol's infamous declaration that everyone will be famous for 15 minutes was probably not far off the mark.
• I've also discovered that everyone has their battles. Even the people who seem have their shit together are probably just better at faking it.
• The only thing that inspirational memes inspire in me is the desire to gag or punch someone.
• It seems that with all this technology, as Jerry Seinfeld put it, we all have absolutely nothing to say to one another and we must say it RIGHT AWAY. Except it was funnier when he said it.
• I have an astonishing capacity for procrastination and time- wasting.
• That I don't really like controversial topics or opinions, even online. I'm that fence-sitting person. Shut up. I like to think of it as being tactful and diplomatic. What I really am is a chicken shit.
• I feel that I take introversion to a whole new level. I'm the quiet person in the corner in real life situations and the quiet blogger in the corner of the blogosphere. I'm happy in my own little world.
• Conversely, on occasion I do like to embarrass myself on the internet with photos of bad hair and frock choices. I like to mix things up a bit.
• That I'm a tiny drop in the ocean, or speck of sand on the shore in the bigger picture of life, the universe and everything.
• That I can trot out clichés and pass them off as blog fodder. See above point.
• That I should probably get out more.
• But the internet is addictive. Very, very addictive.
• I can be resourceful. After all, it was very resourceful of me to start this blog so I can bore you shitless entertain you with my brilliance.
• People like to take photos of their food and post them on Facebook for some reason. It has come to my attention that I did this for the first time the other day. I will totally understand if anyone unfriends me now.
• That 'unfriend' is now a word. A verb even. I think. 
• That I need to go back to Primary School and re-learn basic English and Grammar. I'm sure I'd still look cute in a uniform and pig tails.
• People can become totally engrossed with fictional characters in a soap opera and over react when they die. 
• Apparently everyone wants to dress like Nina Proudman from Offspring. Meanwhile I dress like Bogan Shazza from Boganville.
• There are an alarming amount of people who actually give a flying fuck about footy, soccer and anything with balls in it.
• There is something called Pimperest Pinterest. Don't ask me what this is. I have an account and still have no idea. 
• There is something called Twatter Twitter. I've been there and done that and I'm (mostly) over it. I just check in now and again to confirm this. Yep, I'm over it. 
• There is something called Instagram. I don't have an account and probably  never will. I'm a crap photographer. Plus, I avoid cameras but don't avoid cake. These two things may be related. Ahem. 
• I am shallow. I have nothing particularly enlightening or ground breaking to add to this list.
• I am easily distracted. I blame the internet. Which isn't fair, I've always been easily distracted. 
• Imaginary (online) friends are the bestest (look, I know it's not a word. I've just slipped it on purpose to annoy the Grammar Nazi's out there. So ner).  You can Facebook chat while still in your pyjamas and there is no need to madly race around cleaning the house like you would if they were really popping in.  
• People will keep on sending me gaming invites to Candy Crush, Farmville, Angry Birds and a gazillion other games despite me never once responding. Ever. And I never will. Supposedly you can block them, but I tried and nearly lost the will to live. I'll just keep on ignoring them. 
• I'm not smugly superior to all the gamers out there. It's just that I've already got time wasting and procrastination down to a fine art and don't need any further assistance, thanks very much. 
• On that note, I really should bring this bullet list limping to it's lame end because I'm just procrastinating. The end. 

Linking up with Ann at Help!! I'm Stuck! for Things I Know
 and sneaking in late forThe Lounge with Tegan at Musings Of The Misguided.

What has the internet taught you?