Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Sunday 30 October 2016

A Halloween Story








Hello folks! I'm a little late to the Friday Reflections party. Oops.

But we all know that the party doesn't start until I get here! Right? 


Oh. It did. How rude.

Anyway, here I am regardless.  May I present to you a lovely little Halloween story? 

It's total fiction. I'm sort of sick of myself at the moment. Meaning, I'm sick of writing about myself. So I made something up.

I will preface this story by saying that Halloween has never really been a thing here in the land of Oz (also known as Australia) until the last few years. Consequently I never celebrated it as a child. My boys have asked to go trick or treating tomorrow. Therefore, I'm reluctantly becoming a convert. Well, I do love me some candy, especially in the form of chocolate... So it's all good! 

Except for the part where I'm currently seeing a dietitian and I'm supposed to be eating healthy. Again: OOPS. 

But back to my story! 

Here it is: 



A HALLOWEEN STORY


It wasn't the thought of a grisly death that scared Harry. He was more alarmed by the idea of his prolonged, uneventful existence stretching before him, bleak and relentless. Another nondescript life, as colourless as the next. There was nothing remarkable about him. There never had been. Never would be. It didn't matter what his mother thought. She herself was a lumpy, broad-faced jowly woman with a booming voice and a plethora of opinions. None of them unique. All of them bitter and bigoted. It wasn't an achievement to be held in her esteem.

The only people his family bestowed their good will upon were exactly like them. Anyone who was different in any way would be treated with suspicion, even contempt. These bloody foreigners coming over here and taking our jobs! Even though his mother had never actually had a job for anyone to take in the first place. Not Doris Weber. She'd been a dutiful house wife. Just like every good mother should be. Her condescension to Irene had been unbearable. There marriage was swiftly over. He didn't blame her.

He flicked over to her Facebook profile now. Her beatific smile beamed back at him. Her ebullient nature had been in stark contrast to his introversion. Between that and his officious mother, the union had been doomed from the beginning.

Here he was, approaching fifty with little to show for the advancing years. A patchy employment history, a divorce and an overbearing, elderly mother. She still turned up or phoned him every other day to tell him how to live his life.

He sat here in his shabby home in a dubious suburb. He didn't mind it here. But Mum was horrified. His sister too. Margaret had the appropriate cookie cutter life. The urbane husband who'd climbed the corporate ladder. The ubiquitous McMansion in a leafy, suitable suburb. Their children were teenagers now. He was the odd uncle. Unwelcome really, at Christmas and other occasions, but tolerated.

He poured himself another rum with just a dash of coke. Even his taste in booze was inappropriate. Ominous clouds gathered in the sky as he sat at the window. He loved a good storm. Some people didn't understand his fascination with weather. But everyone had their things. Something that was odd to some one else, not them.

Children were shuffling along the street now, in makeshift Halloween costumes. He knew they wouldn't come here for trick or treating. He might be a paedophile! Their parents would protest. He wasn't. He wasn't even overly sexual at all. Yet another oddity. Another thing that Irene couldn't fathom in the end. She'd wanted children. He was ambivalent. It wasn't that he didn't like them. In fact, he liked some of them just fine. Yet others, not so much. Children were just small humans, after all. What made them different to adults? Lightning pierced the sky. The inevitable thunder shook the house. Shrieks sounded as distant figures started running through the rain.

Harry took a long swig of his drink, enjoying the sensation of it sliding along his tongue then burning his throat. Jagged rain pelted the window. His blinds were fully drawn. Anyone could see in. The ghoulish clown face appeared with the next slap of thunder. A shock of vivid red against the sombre grey sky. Harry jumped, spilling his drink. He hadn't really cared about these ridiculous clown sightings. It perplexed him that he was so riled. He clearly needed something to stir his malaise.

He leapt from his supine position to stumble drunkenly to his front lawn. His bellows were swallowed up by the storm. He stood sneering and soaked, ridiculous now. Neighbours peered through windows, as the prankster disappeared around the corner. He shuffled back inside muttering and cursing.

When he heard about the murder on the late news he felt a curious sense of detachment. 79 year old Doris Weber had been stabbed to death in her suburban home in an apparent trick or treat incident gone horribly wrong. He could hear her now. "This isn't America! Why do we have to follow them?" The phone was ringing. It would be Margaret, beside herself with horror, but secretly thinking of her inheritance.

People were so transparent. His drab reality was now sordid and sinister. And he liked it.

Slowly he moved to answer the phone.


Linking up for Friday Reflections


Do you celebrate Halloween? 

Do you have a Halloween story? 

Monday 26 October 2015

Here I Am

Hello, dear people. It's been a while since I checked in  here. What's that? You didn't notice? How rude. HMPH.

Anyway, the reason for my absence was the passing of my mother-in-law (may she rest in peace) and being without a laptop. It has finally been fixed, so here I am.

Then, for some zany reason I cannot fathom, last Wednesday I became a dutiful housewife. I dusted. I vacuumed. I cleaned and tidied. I tidied and cleaned. I changed sheets and made beds. I SLAVED over dinner. It certainly was a tremendous effort to order the Chinese take away. I can only hope my family appreciates the extreme sacrifices I make for them.

Needless to say, this led to me being extremely lavish in my efforts to take rather long naps. In addition to all of this I also kept up my regular exercise routine. No seriously, I actually DO have a regular exercise routine. Please stop that sardonic laughter! Actually, I just felt like saying the word sardonic for the sake of it. Sardonic. Very satisfying. It's not like you get to say such words in everyday life, is it? Derisive works here, too. Take your pick. 

But what was I saying? Oh yes. Exercise. I exercise frequently. SUCH a shame that there never appears to be any visible evidence of this. Ditto the housework. Rude. So basically what I am saying is, I am wonder woman. I wonder what I'll do next? I'll probably type this sentence. See?

Then it hit me. This week it's Halloween. I can just leave all the dust and cobwebs and claim they're part of the theme of this week. It's actually like I've been prepared and ready for Halloween for all these years, before Halloween was even a thing in Australia. See? Who said I'm not organised?


But here's my Halloween dilemma. For the past two years we had a few trick or treaters knock on the door. However, I wasn't prepared, so I ended up giving them lame treats, like packets of sultanas or tiny teddies.  I'm wondering if I should stock up on lollies, but at the same time I don't want the temptation of having them around because I'll eat them. I'm classy like that.

My boys haven't expressed any desire to go trick or treating, and secretly I'm glad. It just doesn't appeal to me to go randomly knocking on doors asking for sweets, despite being a chocoholic. Halloween was never really a tradition in Australia when I was growing up in the 1970s and 80s. Maybe that's why I don't get into it. I never feel like I'm missing out on something because it just didn't exist in my childhood.It's like how some people from other parts of the world probably feel like Christmas isn't Christmas without snow. In Australia we never have a white Christmas, and you don't miss something you've never had. You don't even think about it.

Meanwhile, even my 74 year old mother is getting into the Halloween spirit. She was invited to a party and is planning to dress up. There was a time when I went to Rotaract  Halloween parties and dressed up as Morticia. Sadly, these days my only dress up option would be  a witch or ghost.  And all I'd need is the pointy hat, cloak and broomstick. No make-up. Sigh.

Come to think of it, I already became a fully-fledged witch at Weight Witches!  For some reason, there was no broomstick handed out. Furthermore, the nose twitching thing remains mysteriously elusive. Weird. Very weird indeed. Perhaps my magical powers will suddenly come out to play when it's Halloween? Think about it. It certainly would be handy to turn some one into a toad when they annoy you. Just kidding. I'm a nice witch. 

My Morticia days are over *sobs*

Anyway, it's really hard to believe that it's the end of October. Consequently this means that November is a mere week away. Wasn't it just January a couple of months ago?

This means that Mr 6 becomes Mr 7 next Monday and a week later it's mine and Mickey Blue Eyes' 20th wedding anniversary. Wasn't it just 1995 a few years ago? Shut up.

On that note, I still haven't started Christmas shopping. Apparently I like living on the edge. But I'm not alone. According to a comprehensive study I conducted, most people prefer to leave Christmas shopping until December where it belongs. Using 'comprehensive study' in the sense of a random Facebook status update I posted a few weeks ago.

It's all good, though. We are very close to obtaining our passports, which means we can now fire up the private jet and take off at a moments notice if we choose. Or, you know, just go to Dubbo again just because we're quirky. Quirky, dammit! NOT tight-asses. Ahem.

Speaking of random stuff, (we weren't, but you know me and my meandering posts) I actually bought something from Evilbay for the first time ever! I'm onto all the newfangled things just like all the youngsters. There's no telling what can happen from here. Hopefully not Evilbay addiction. Which is a thing, according to certain friends who call it Evilbay for that reason. Scary. But scary is the theme of the week.

So BOO!

Linking up with Kirsty, Alicia and Eva.

Do you celebrate Halloween?