The Month That Was August

Image credit: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/assessment/2001/07/august.html

Another month has breezed by. Farewell August, you contradictory creature! You provided us with lovely days, then changed your mind and brought out blustery, bitterly cold days. There were days suffused with sunshine, interspersed with days spent with feet and hands like blocks of ice. I'm glad the latter is over. 

Reflecting upon the month of August makes me realise something: I need to get out more. I certainly don't have an action packed schedule to report.

However, one very exciting and fabulous thing happened. I had my tits crushed. Also known as a mammogram. Okay, so that part wasn't exactly fabulous. The results were! It was all completely normal! I am totally cancer free! YAY! Happy dance. 

Image credit: http://www.reactiongifs.com/crazy-dancing/

I reckon the only times I left the house during August were to go to grocery shopping, do the school pick up, go to a Weight Witches meeting or to have my tits crushed. Additionally, I went to the library. I like to be cutting edge.

Oh, and I got jabbed the other day. Meaning I had a blood test. While we're on that subject, it's pretty disconcerting to realise that I'm 45 years old, I've given birth four times and beaten cancer, but I still get freaked out and nervy having a blood test. What the...? Of course this phenomenon is now multiplied by a billion, because I'm even more paranoid about test results now. Brilliant.

The blood test is simply a routine thing to check my cholesterol, thyroid, sugar and hormones. Because I now have menopause thrown into the mix. Fun times. I see my GP next Wednesday to get the results. In the meantime I haven't had any urgent phone calls, so I hope that's a good sign. 

Meanwhile, today I am back to see my specialist/surgeon. My GP already informed me that my mammogram was all good. It's hard to believe that I'm already having my first six-monthly check up since my diagnonsense. So basically that is the highlight of my very ordinary August. 

I also became quite wistful and reflective. On the 24th it was the ninth anniversary of the day I gave birth to my deceased baby boy, Daniel. It's weird. These days I don't always think about him on the exact day, but at other random times. It's been nine years, which seems bizarre. On the one hand it seems like yesterday, but on the other, a billion years ago. So much has happened since then. Anyway, I can think of him with a smile and only a hint of sadness now. I imagine what he might have been like, and wonder if he'd be as cheeky and gorgeous as his brothers. I wonder how he would be different from them, too. My boys are all different. 

Oh yes! I finally got my very own laptop. As a result I think I've blogged a bit more consistently throughout August. Well, for me anyway. I'm always so ad hoc here.  

In other news, I now possess a full head of curly hair. Consequently, I finally understand curly hair problems. Related: I am going to be the whitest woman ever with a 'fro.  Except it doesn't look cool and cutting edge. I just look like a Nanna with a bad perm. Sigh. Well, my GP reckons I have a young face. So ner! A young face with Nanna hair and a double chin. Different. 

What else can I tell you about August? I could report that Weight Witches isn't going well. Oops. In fact, I am going to retire my broomstick. It isn't working out for me. Even though I admit some of it is my own fault due to lack of commitment, it also irks me somewhat that they keep changing it. Just when you have become used to one way, it's all changed. This means you have to purchase a lot of stuff all over again. I find this rather annoying. I don't cope with change. But that's a whole other post. I'm still aware that I need to shift some weight and stay healthy, so I'm going to discuss some other possible options with my GP. Wish me luck! 

So that concludes my rather lacklustre August. But if there's one thing I've learnt in the past year it's this: boring is GOOD.

Bring on a boring September!

And I can't resist going out with yet another happy dance!

Image crhttp://www.reactiongifs.com/seinfeld-happy-dance/edit:

Linking up with Sanch for 

The Month That Was and Grace for FYBF. 

How was your August? Any happy dance worthy moments? 

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Marriage: 20th Anniversary Edition!

The most astonishing thing has happened!! I was just minding my own business and then suddenly I blinked and guess what??!!

20 years just whizzed past in a nano-second! Unbelievable! 

Apparently Mickey Blue Eyes and I will have been married for a monumental 20 years on this coming Wednesday, the 11th of November, 2015! I could make the usual jokes about how you don't get that long for murder, but that would seem to imply that marriage is some sort of punishment to be endured. Pffffffft. As if. 

I must confess I couldn't even tell you why we've lasted this long. OK, maybe I have an inkling. 

A few months ago we were having a conversation about marriage and divorce, which had us arriving at this conclusion: the only reason ours has survived for 20 years is because neither of us could be bothered with the hassle and rigmarole of going through with divorce proceedings.

We do have arguments and annoy each other, just like every other couple. At the time you are completely outraged and wish to storm out of the house in high dudgeon and haughtily declare that you're never returning. Then, in the next beat you realise it's almost dinner time and something good might be on the telly after that, and really it's rather a lot of effort to pack and exactly where are you going to go anyway? Um. Yeah. Better rethink that. 

Long live romance! 

Anyway, seeing as though I'm now an expert on this subject here is some random advice and thoughts about marriage: 

• Wedding days are just that - a day. Yes, it's a special day, but I firmly believe you can still make it special without spending eleven billionty dollars on a cream puff frock and horse-drawn carriages and doves and all that nonsense. 

It's amazing. We look EXACTLY the same!
Except for the older and fatter thing. Details.

• There's no rush. Live together first. 

• When you are married there is really a frightful amount of a) talking, and b) togetherness. Who would have thought that a schmaltzy Carpenters song got it right? You know, that lyric about 'talking it over, just the two of us - togetherrrrr, togetherrrr?! Okay, you probably don't know, you're not groovy like me.  Check it out below. Anyway, if you're like me and not that great at talking and require alone time the way you require, you know, oxygen, then this will be a challenge. Not a totally impossible one, but a rather significant one. 

• There will be good and bad days. On a bad day I wish I could pack a bag and leave in a huff (see above). On a good day my family are like my coat of armour against the World. *passes over sick bags* 

• Those relationships that seem to be too good to be true probably are. 

• Don't post any of your arguments and drama on Facebook.  

• Remember the old line from the movie Love Story? 'Love means never having to say you're sorry'. Horse shit. If you know you've been a dick, an apology wouldn't go amiss. 

• If your husband isn't one to make grandiose romantic gestures, like sending flowers or writing gushing Facebook posts about you being the love of his life, but instead does the laundry, washes dishes, is a fantastic Dad to your kids, puts up with you being forgetful, disorganised, silent and uncommunicative (see above) and having a raging, totally perplexing Carpenters obsession, then there's a pretty good chance he does love you after all. 

• Likewise, if you're not one to make grandiose romantic gestures, or even say much at all, but instead support your husband's decision to work from home, despite your intense need for quiet time being disrupted, and put up with him being stubborn (yet somehow bizarrely oblivious of this fact), disorganised, and having a raging obsession with shares, soccer and birds (the feathered variety), then there's a pretty good chance that you do love him after all. *hands over more sick bags* 

• One day you will innocently blink your eyes and 20 years will have passed just like that! 

• Don't sweat the small stuff. We have a saying around here: Let it go over your head. No point in getting worked up about him leaving the toilet seat up. Especially if you have even worse habits. Or is that  just me? Ahem. 

• Make it clear early in the peace that you do not share your partner's enthusiasm for soccer, Star Trek or any other riveting obsession. Otherwise you will spend many hours being bored shitless and shivering at football fields on the weekend. Likewise, he isn't going to be enamoured of your fascination with shoe shopping or scrapbooking. Leave each other to it.

• When you are young and wishing to meet a potential partner you are certain that having common interests is essential. It's actually not. See above. Especially if you have, shall we say, some rather offbeat interests. I mean, let's face it, if I'd waited to meet a bloke who shared my Karen Carpenter fascination, I'd be permanently single. 

• Valentine's Day is a load of commercialised bullocks. There's no point in some one making a big fuss on a certain day and sending over-priced flowers then treating you like crap for the rest of the year. It sounds like a cliche, but it truly is the little everyday things that count. 

• If you were married in the 70s, 80s or even the 90s like me, your frock may now be hideous and dated. Not mine. Mine is exquisite and timeless. Because I've always had exquisite taste and didn't wear a cream puff frock. And clearly Kate Middleton totally copied me with her gown. So ner!

And that about wraps up my wisdom and insight* about marriage.

Happy 20th anniversary, Mickey Blue Eyes! 

*I have no wisdom or insight about anything ever. I just pretend I do. Works for me. 

Linking up with Kirsty and Alicia. 

What are your thoughts about marriage? 

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Seven Signs Spring Has Sprung

It's that glorious time of year yet again. Spring is finally here! Well, it's here officially tomorrow, but details! Don't you just feel like singing? 

I always look forward to it because now I can finally get all my spring cleaning done. Snorts. Meanwhile, Christmas is only around the corner! BRING. IT. ON! 

Actually, all sarcasm aside, I do love spring.  During these particular holidays we are going away to Wagga Wagga to visit relatives, so I'm looking forward to it. 

Plus, in November Mr 6 will become Mr 7 and Mickey Blue Eyes and I will celebrate 20 years of wedded stress. Oops, I mean bliss. 

I always know when spring is just around the corner. There are several giveaway signs.

Here are the seven signs that spring has sprung:

1. I need to shave my pits and legs. This requires an industrial strength lawn mower. At which point, I realise that it probably wasn't a great idea to allow them to grow long enough to plait. Is that just me? Okay, no need to answer...

2. I start sneezing. A lot. ACHOO!

3. All the inevitable posts reminding me that Santa arrives in only X amount of days/weeks suddenly start flooding my social media feeds. I resolve that this is finally the year that I'll be organised and get all my Christmas shopping sorted before the end of September. Then I promptly do nothing until the end of November or beginning of December. Apparently I like living on the edge. 

4. I gradually begin to thaw out a little each day. Then I finally emerge blinking into the sunlight. During the winter months I decided to divide my time between bed and the shower. Those are the only places I can warm up despite everyone insisting that it's 'easy' to warm up during winter. 

5. I begin to dread summer and the scorching, searing heat that comes with it. As much as I dislike winter, I also have an aversion to summer. So at least I consistently whinge about the weather all year round. Gotta be consistent people. 

6. I frantically start doing 700 crunches a day to get myself bikini ready for summer. Just kidding! I never do that. I realise that I've actually forgotten to buy a bikini for the 44th year in a row. Oops. I figure it probably wouldn't be a good look for me. (See point number 1). Instead, I stock up on industrial strength 50 plus sunscreen. I'm a ranga. I need to drown myself in that shit. 


7. I sneeze. A lot. Yeah, I know I've already mentioned that, but seriously, it's all the freaking time! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! 
I certainly do love spring but it doesn't love me. Hello season of sinus headaches. Sigh. I guess I'll be stocking up on Zyrtecs as well as sunscreen. 

Despite all this, I'm glad that spring has finally sprung. I'm feeling so optimistic that I may even decide to do that spring cleaning after all! Shut up. You never know. 

Linking up with Kirsty, Alicia and Eva. 

What does spring mean to you? 

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Anniversary

Today, November 11th, 2013, Micky Blue Eyes and I are celebrating 18 years of wedded stress! Uh, I mean, bliss. So here is a bunch of old photos I dug out of the cupboard for your perusal.

Here we both are in High School. Not the same one, though. Considering that Mick is 8 years older than me, so he'd finished high school before I'd started.

Years later we met. We gazed at each other across a crowded Rotaract function- and made absolutely no impression on each other whatsoever. However, somehow a year or so later we ended up dating. At which point I was so taken with him that I apparently wrote him a love letter which I also found helpfully tucked away in the cupboard with all the dusty old photos. It contained a rather charming poem I wrote which went:

Roses are red
Voilets are blue
I couldn't find anyone else
So I thought you'd do

Touching, right?  How could he resist? He couldn't. Here are two of my favourite wedding photos. I think I like them because I had no idea they were being taken. Of course Mick isn't in either them but that's a minor detail. He was only the groom, after all.

Here we are, happily married, having over priced lobster for my 25th birthday. I must be approximately a hundred years old now, because it feels that long ago. Sigh.

Skipping over a few boring years to my 30th birthday when I was rather up the duff but unaware.

Later that same year, heavily pregnant and by now aware of the fact but only just. Long story. Tragically I look in much better shape when I was very pregnant than I do now. Ahem.

A few years later at our friend's wedding where I was Matron of Honour.

Celebrating our anniversary in 2006.

At our niece's wedding at Mt. Tomah Botanical Gardens, NSW, February 2008.

Later that same year when I was extremely up the duffian with Mr 5.

At this point I seem to have run out of photos which is weird because I'm such a shy person show off who is always running hamming it up for the camera.

But here is one taken on Mr 12's birthday in July this year, even though I usually don't post photos of my boys because I don't want to embarrass them with their bogan parents. Then again, isn't that what parents are supposed to do?

Happy 18th anniversary Micky Blue Eyes! It does seem like a long time. That is until I think of my parents who are also celebrating their anniversary! 47 years!

Happy anniversary Mum and Dad!

Oh yeah, I haven't forgotten it's also Remberance Day so - we will remember them! It's a good way to remember your anniversary too. Ahem.

I must confess I'm not sure if this is my shortest post but I'm linking up with I Must Confess anyway. So ner!

When is your anniversary (if you have one)? How do you celebrate? 

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