Anyway, as I was saying, I am really quite the massive introvert. Even alcohol doesn't 'bring me out of my shell'. Instead, I just feel sleepy and mellow after one or two drinks. After a third I'll either feel light-headed and sick or slip into a coma. I'm SUCH a party animal!
Fortunately, I never attend many parties. Unless they are children's parties. Nobody appears to have 'at home' parties anymore. Or, if they are, we're not being invited. This means that I may have to sit in a McDonald's/Play Centre/Bowling Alley with a few other unfamiliar parents and make polite chit-chat. Not surprisingly, I suck at it.
I'll either go with my favourite option: mutism. Or, alternatively, I'll completely put my foot in it and blurt out way too much information.
Like the time one Mum was chatting away about a friend who had tragically lost a baby half way through her pregnancy, yet still had to give birth.
"I couldn't imagine having to go through that!" she said, almost in tears "It would be terrible!"
"Yes, it is," I replied, without thinking "the same thing happened to me."
The poor woman looked thunderstruck. Of course there was no way she could ever have known that. I wouldn't say it was exactly helpful of me to bring it up. She apologised, clearly wishing the ground would swallow her. Good one, Ness.
Ditto the time when I used to attend Playgroup with Mr 5 before he started school. One of the Mums there expressed her worry about her Dad who was having a colonoscopy that day. I proceeded to inform her how Micky Blue Eyes has one every year after having had bowel cancer in 2004. Her worried expression turned to one of terror. Well played yet again, Ness. Way to go with the social gaffes!
As Mr 10 would say in a faux American drawl:
AWWWKARRRRD!
No wonder I mostly stick to what I'm best at. Shutting right up.
Yes sir, selective mutism and I are besties.
ALL VALE NESSKI: Bringing you awkward silences since 1971!
Another phenomenon that came into play during the Play Group era was my introverted tendency to suffer from a 'social hangover'. I briefly touched upon this before.
Playgroup only consisted of a measly two hours a week of social interaction. That's nothing, right? So why did I go home every week and feel like sobbing from exhaustion? The next week would roll around and I'd feel barely recovered.
Meanwhile, the other Mums revealed how they schlepped their kidlets to various groups on multiple days of the week. I was STUNNED to learn this. Seriously. STUNNED.
I couldn't have been more shocked if they'd revealed that they liked to snort cocaine off a hooker's arse while their kids watched.
Okay, I may be exaggerating just a teeny bit. But it is quite amazing to me how you weirdo extroverted folk like this socialising caper so much.
I guess I could force myself out of my comfort zone once in while. Speaking of which, I'll be attending Mr 5's school assembly this afternoon. There will be crowds, noise, parents, children and off-key singing. Last time I attended Mr 10's assembly I accidentally sat in the wrong spot in the school hall. This resulted in me being mistaken for a casual teacher twice.
It only occurred to me later that I should have totally went with it Jack Black/School Of Rock style and pretended I was. I'm sure I could have had those kids belting out Carpenters songs before school ended! Shut up, they are rock! CLASSIC rock, I tell you! Oh all right, classic soft rock. Adult contemporary? Okay, so they're bloody easy listening! So what? HMPH.
I'm rambling again, aren't I? Oh well, this is the only place where I do it, therefore I'm allowed. So ner!
It is quite interesting being a shy, introverted Aspie and being a mother of three amazing but noisy boys! On the one hand, I often crave peace and solitude. On the other hand, my family are my coat of armour against the World.
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| An oldie but a goodie |
In all my many awkward moments I can remind myself that I don't have to worry about what others think of me. I have Micky Blue Eyes and the boys who love and accept me. We are a family of introverts. The only difference is, my boys are certainly NOT shy!
I'm still plodding through Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking and finding it fascinating. See, introverts ARE fascinating! I knew it! I'm totally riveting. So the fact that you're probably nodding off around now is not my fault. No way.
Anyway, Susan Cain has a Manifesto for Introverts.
I'd like to make up my own manifesto, but I'll have to think about it further in order to come up with something poetic and wise.
In the mean time, you can always count on good old Grumpy Cat:
Linking up for The Lounge and Laugh Link.
Do you have a manifesto?
What does family mean to you?
Oh God I am dreading the small talk when Dyllan starts school next year. I see people making friends at their kids school and I just think 'ah how on earth did you do that!?'. I just tend to stand around with a dumb look on my face so people think I'm stuck up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with us at The Lounge!
A lot of parents just look at their phones now when waiting for the kids to adjourn from the class rooms at school pick up time. After all, you can't possibly make small talk when you have MY BLOG to stalk. *GRINS*
DeleteMy son is starting kinder next year and the most terrifying part for me is chit chat with complete strangers. I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I find it really difficult and mostly pointless. And I was nodding my head the whole way through the 'exhaustion after 2 hours of playgroup' bit! I'm a little bit jealous of people who find that shit easy.. I think I need to learn to accept and somehow appreciate the positives of being introverted..
ReplyDeleteYeah, I get a bit jelly too. Sigh. I'm usually the parent who gets in and gets the hell out at school drop off or pick up. I'm never one of the 'mummy cliques' who hover around the school gates or in the quadrangle. But you're right, there are positives too and we should focus on that. Thanks for reading. x
DeleteI'm an introvert, but remarkably good at small talk. I find socialising really draining though, which sucks. I wish I was one of those people that bounce off the walls after sucking everyone's energy but I usually want to crawl into a hole and not speak for several days. I used to do playgroup, but stopped going. Just too hard!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if most bloggers are introverts and if blogging affords us the opportunity to be social without leaving the house. This theory can't apply, of course, to all those bloggers who went to ProBlogger. But perhaps the rest of us?
ReplyDeleteI'm an extrovert but I've still said things that have made moments awkward. Good post. :)
ReplyDeleteOh man, I hate small talk. I remember at uni one of my best friends always asked "Why are you so quiet? Why am I doing all the talking?" I remember telling her that when you are comfortable with someone you don't need to talk. That was the excuse I used A LOT. The truth was I either had no idea what to say, or was busy running lines through my head, rehearsing what I should say, but by the time I felt I had the perfect comment the conversation had moved on. I used to think I was weird, but it turns out the whole world is filled with people like us! Thank goodness!
ReplyDeleteI reckon you are perfect the way you are! And yes this is YOUR space to go to town with rambling, it amuses me and this is my fav quote from this post...
ReplyDelete"if they'd revealed that they liked to snort cocaine off a hooker's arse while their kids watched."
I hope one day we can meet and you can be an introvert with me while I talk your funny head off! Thanks for linking xx Em
p.s congrats on going to assembly and I hope you weren't mistaken for a teacher!