What I've Learnt About Blogging

Hello dear people! I'm a bit late to the Friday Reflections party, but I thought I'd chime in anyway. 

The prompt I've chosen is: Things you've learnt since you started blogging. 

At first I felt like I should not choose this prompt. After all, what do I know about blogging professionally? So I should mention that if you're looking for advice about how to get millions of eyeballs on your blog and make shit tonnes of cash I've got nothing to tell you. Oh wait. There is this: do the exact opposite of everything I did. 

I pretty much logged onto blogger one day and just started churning out journal like entries in a spectacularly ad hoc and lackadaisical fashion. Yeah, don't do that.

However, I still have a few things to say about blogging as a hobby. 

Here goes: 

DON"T write like no one is reading

I've heard the advice 'write like no one is reading' a lot.

NO. Don't do that.

Guess what? Someone will read it. Even if it's only your Mum to begin with. As far as I can gather it's still pretty much my Mum reading here. Hi Mum! 

All I'm saying is, it's not a really intelligent idea to write about anything you wouldn't be comfortable discussing in person or having family and friends know about you.

I do try to be as honest as possible within reason. But some things are better kept to myself. 

Don't write about other people's stuff

This ties in with the previous point. Some things are just not my stuff to blog about. Particularly because I have children. I'll admit that I've made mistakes in the past, but now I try not to blog about my boys. Or at least keep it to a minimum.  I don't post photos of them or use their real names here. Some people will argue that you shouldn't have to censor yourself and all that. But I think you need to be mindful of this. If you're still hellbent on writing about all and sundry in your life perhaps asking permission first is the way to go. 

Don't feel guilty about spending time and/or money on your hobby blog

If I had any other hobby you could think of you can bet that I would never even think twice about this. Many times people will be all superior and insist that they simply don't have time to be online. First of all, the time I spend blogging and on Facebook may be the time that others spend watching the footy or the entire series of Game Of Thrones on Netflix. I don't do those things. I prefer blogging or reading. And yes, Facebook. So what? To me, watching sport is just as boring as my hobby might seem to others. 

Plus, what's wrong with spending money on hobby blogging? 
The amount of money that Mickey Blue Eyes has spent on his various hobbies over the years must be in the hundreds if not thousands. There's been soccer, breeding finches (continuing), bonsai's, photography, astronomy, aquariums.. to name a few. Yet for a long time I felt guilty about spending a cent on this blog. Not anymore.

Related: I signed up to do the Blog With Pip and Blog Magic
 courses next month.  

Other things I've learned:


I am terrible at self-promotion

I really, really suck at this. Hopefully the above course will help me to get through some of these barriers. We'll see. I'm a total contradiction here: I dislike being the centre of attention but at the same time I don't want to be totally ignored. Otherwise what's the point? 

I'm a much better writer than I think I am

Self-doubt about my writing ability is still something I struggle with on an ongoing basis. But I've thought about it and realised that I'm not THE BEST writer and I never will be. BUT...I'm actually pretty good for who I am, my level of education and experiences in life. I'm some one who failed high school English, never went to university and has spent the past 15 years being a stay at home mother. Additionally, I'm also on the spectrum. Taking all that into consideration I am so much better than I think. I need to own that! 

On the other hand...

I'm a shit photographer

This blog is an assault to your eyeballs. Oops. Sorry about that! But I'm really crap at taking photos. So I just need to concentrate on what I can do and keep writing. Related: I don't have an Instagram account for this very reason. There's really no point!

I'm a technophobe

I don't really understand all the different technical stuff and social media platforms. I have a Twatter Twitter account but don't use it much these days.

There's always some one who's better than you

There's always going to be other brighter shinier better blogs and writers. There just is. The only thing I can do is just keep plodding on doing what I can do. Because not writing at all feels worse. 

I don't care about stats and 'likes'

Just as well. They're abysmal. But WHO CARES? I'm blogging for a hobby so I actually have the freedom to not worry about it. I may as well enjoy it!

I'm completely 'useless'

Apparently you're supposed to create useful content. Oops. I try to make my pointless ponderings as entertaining as possible. Beyond that, I've got nothing! Useless blogging FTW! 

It's fun to join in with the blogging community

I like joining in with blog link ups. For one thing they often provide me with a prompt. Otherwise I might run out of nonsense to blog about. As impossible as that sounds! Plus you can actually make online connections. On the other hand it's important to remember to not get too discouraged if everyone doesn't read your blog. It's impossible to read and comment on every single blog. 

I'll never say never

So far I've never even attempted to make money with this blog. Currently I still have no plans to do so. I have a sneaking suspicion that doing so may take all the joy out of it. However, never's a long time, so I'll never say never. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. 

It's OK to have bloggy breaks

In fact it's probably a very good idea. This blogging caper can be very addictive! I need to get up and move a bit and try to be offline sometimes. Snorts. 

Let's not get too carried away...

Linking up (late!) for Friday Reflections .

What are your thoughts about blogging?

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The Month That Was September

Another September has disappeared. It seemed to make such a fleeting appearance. Sexy old September seduced us into spring then slunk away into clouds and wet weather. Then became all sultry again. Make up your mind, September! Oh wait. You have. And you're out of here. Just in time for October. Funny about that. 

But we were talking about September. Right. So let's get on with it.

Insert exciting September stuff HERE.  

Hmmmm, I'm sure there was SOMETHING exciting. Sort of. Kind of. OK, not really. 

But there was all the usual boring life stuff. Maybe I'll do that thing where you add 'and shit' to the end of every sentence to make it sound all cutting edge and gangsta and...erm... shit. 

Here goes:

Read some books and shit.  Did the housework and shit. Did all the usual sleeping and eating and shit. Moped and mulled, loved and lived, plodded and planned. And shit. 

Totally works! That sounds SO EXCITING! And shit. Maybe a bit more emphasis on the shit part. Oh well, I tried. 

Sexy old September did, in fact, have it's moments.

It all kicked off with Father's Day. We enjoyed a meal out at a Chinese Restaurant. Let's not talk about the resulting MSG headache  the next day. DOH. 

The month plodded on and I did so many exciting and avant garde things that I can't even remember what they are. This may sound strange to you but it happens when you're such a social butterfly.

Ok, you caught me. I'm not a social butterfly. But I'm trying. And I did leave the house each week this month! That's something. 

There was usual shopping, plus a visit to the library. Always thrilling when you're a dedicated bookworm. Look, we can't all be party animals. I stand by my love of libraries. 

In contrast with my usual ad hoc approach to blogging, this month I blogged consistently two to three times per week! You're welcome! 

September was the month I decided that I'm totally winning at life. 

I pondered on some important topics such as beginnings and life as a dog.  

I joined in for the first time with Friday Reflections and attempted some fiction. I was thrilled to be chosen for that week's featured writer! 

There was more mundane stuff when I took Mr 7 and 12 for dentist appointments. I was a super proud mumma because they handled the experience so well while I was FREAKING OUT.  Yep, I'm such a mature adult. 

However, there was some mature adulting stuff related to another doctor's appointment. It was revealed that I have high cholesterol and I started medication. I also got a referral to see a dietitian and then proceeded to eat like some sort of crazed, deprived person about to be locked up in a dungeon and starved. As you do. OK, as I do. I'm classy like that. 

Related: I did quite a bit of cooking, but then I just ate it and didn't photograph it. SO weird. 

Oh yes, I also attended a de-cluttering workshop held by my local council. More information on that and I round up of what I learnt coming soon! 

We also enjoyed a night out without the kidlets thanks to my parents. We went to an Indian restaurant with a bunch of friends. The next day Mickey Blue Eyes and I wondered what exactly it was that we  all used to talk about a decade ago. These days it seems to be about all our ailments: deteriorating eye sight, hearing, knee operations, surgeries and, of course, cancer, just to name a few. Fun times.

Related: when did we go so freaking OLD? 

Now it's school holidays! We've enjoyed some chaotic quiet days at home. Pyjama days are THE  BEST. 

However, I did manage to escape the nut house last Tuesday for a girl's day out. My friend Julie picked me up and we headed to the Central Coast for the day. We had lunch and then visited our other friend, Kim who moved up there earlier this year.

The next day THIS happened: 

A bee hive. It was in a tree in our front yard.

The Bee Movie! Right there in our front yard! There were thousands and thousands of bees swarming, buzzing and scaring the bejesus out of the boys. We had to call a professional to come and take it away. 

It's interesting because my late Pop used to be an Apiarist. Some years ago my parents also had a hive in their backyard. Look, I know there's some sort of logical explanation why these things happen. Spring. Pollen. Bees. Makes total sense. But there's a possibility that it has something to do with my Pop as well, right? 

It's been such glorious weather that we decided to end September with an impromptu picnic. So we set out on Friday, which turned out to be conveniently blustery and freezing. Oh well. We had fun anyway! 

And that concluded another sensational September! 

Now bring on the countdown to Christmas! And shit. 

Linking up for The Month That Was and IBOT

Images: Pexels; Giphy

What did you get up to in September? 

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Daylight Savings - Like Or Loathe?

It's that time of the year again!  Today we are talking about daylight savings. So let's get on with it.

Insert witty words about daylight savings HERE.

Mystical, magical thoughts and musings. Wonderful writings the likes of which have never been read or seen before and  never will again. Impassioned prose full of meaning and purpose. Poetic, eloquent language with assurance and ease. Persuasive, decisive, distinguished debate that leaps from the page. Or the blog? 

Or, you know, just the dumb shite I normally churn out. Yeah, definitely the latter. You're welcome!

So what can I say about daylight savings? Do I love it? Or loathe it? I'm going with a third option: DGAF. 

Let me clarify that for you: Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

Look,  what I'm saying is I don't really have strong feelings about it one or the other. People seem to REALLY get their knickers in a twist about it.  

Is it just me or does it seem like the older generation are generally in the loathe category while the middle aged and youngsters don't care? 

Of course when I'm talking about the 'older generation' I mean my parents age (they're in their 70s). Related: my mother is a staunch hater of this phenomenon. She always has been. 

I did a bit of lackadaisical google about the origins of daylight savings. Yawn. I can't seem to even drum up any interest. Maybe I'm in a weird mood. Or just plain weird, period. Again, definitely the latter. 

I just don't have an issue with  daylight savings. Well, apart from remembering to put clocks forward or back. On exactly which day, and whether it's forward or back. If it wasn't for Facebook I'd probably totally forget about it. 

The argument FOR daylight savings is the fact that if you have to go to work you still have a bit of daylight left when you get home. 

It doesn't really effect me greatly which is why I really don't care one way or the other. I suppose it takes a while for my body clock to adjust and then just when I'm getting used to it, it's time to change back. This can be ever so slightly annoying. However, I just don't seem to be that worked up about it. It's just one of those things that happens every year right along with the footy grand final. And frankly I don't really give a flying fuck about either of those things. 

I do enjoy this time of year, though. I like spring, even though it doesn't particularly like me. SO rude. Related: I have hideous hay fever. ACHOO! 

I mean, I have children and I still DGAF about daylight savings. They fight me about sleeping every night anyway. Now we can just do it an hour earlier! Or later... or whatever... 

So I put the clocks forward and  just get on with my life. And with that, I find I have nothing more to say on this topic.  

Here's a few more funnies instead:

May I present to you a handy multiple choice question:

What do you think about daylight savings?


Do you a) love it, b) loathe it, or c) DGAF? 

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If Toys Had Feelings

It's another fabulous Friday! I'm joining in again for Friday Reflections with a lovely little poem based on the prompt:

If toys had feelings. Write a post or story and get creative! 

IF TOYS HAD FEELINGS

If toys had feelings, they'd hate the toy box
Barbie would emerge, shaking her blonde locks
"I'm free!" she would shout triumphant, and then
March off, leaving behind bland old plastic Ken

Toys DO have feelings, that delightful doll house
The complex jigsaw puzzle, the cute cuddly mouse
Huggable, lovable teddy bears sit all in a row
Their expressions hide all the things they know

If toys had feelings they'd be alive
Full of adventure, daring to strive
Round marbles gleaming ethereal hues
Ballerinas perched in glittering shoes

If toys had feelings, the little Lego Man
Would bustle about his magic Lego Land
Suddenly it's clear there's more than you can see
You'll fly the wishing chair, climb the faraway tree!

Toys have feelings, I believe they do!
Just open your mind, you'll see it too!
The rusty toy truck forlorn and dejected
Mr Five has left him alone and rejected

Building blocks scattered with abandon and glee
Played with by all day by creative Miss Three
A train set whirs along the track, chug-a-chug-chug
Match box cars weave around the pattern on the rug

Toys have feelings? Why yes, of course! 
See the quirky grin on the quaint rocking horse?
The rocket ship that blasts boldly to the moon
 A music box moves us with a melancholy tune

Dainty cups on jaunty saucers, a tea party for two
Don't hurt their feelings, whatever you do! 
Sip the pretend tea and sigh in sheer delight
Cherish those toys with all of your might!

Toys DEFINITELY have feelings, I have decided
This fanciful thought must not be derided
Toys recall the feelings we didn't think would last
Joy, innocence, childhood memories long past

Toys remind us of the playful side of life
To make time for laughter, cast aside strife
Enjoy those toys like you are still young
Their magic and mystery has only just begun!



Linking up for Friday Reflections and FYBF. 

What was  your favourite childhood toy? 

Do you make time to be playful? 

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Life As A Dog

Every morning I stumble out of bed dazed and disoriented. I trudge out to the living room and peer outside. And there is she is: Queen Cookie, our beloved dog. Resplendent in the sun. She perches on her cushion on the back verandah in bliss. We adopted her from an animal shelter a couple of years ago and she's been an awesome addition to our family.

Meanwhile I blunder on, trying to coax reluctant children out of bed and off to school. I wonder: would it be easier to be a dog? 

Reasons I think it would be easier to be a dog: 

• She gets to lie around in the sun all day.
• Like me, Cookie is also a breast cancer survivor. Unlike me, she's blissfully unaware of this fact. She doesn't even have to go for regular mammograms!
• She's completely unperturbed by her greying fur. 
• While she's lying there in the sun I'm pretty sure she's not thinking: but what am I DOING with my life? 

• She may have had puppies, we're not sure, but they're not her responsibility anymore.  Furthermore they're not going turn up for Sunday lunch, bringing their laundry and asking to borrow some cash.  
• She doesn't have to think about housework. In fact, the dirtier the better! Like all the dogs I've known, her favourite thing is rolling around in the dirt after a bath.
• She gets THE BEST pats, belly rubs and cuddles. 
• Going for a walk can often seem like a bit of an effort for me, but for her it's the most exciting thing EVER. 
• She doesn't even think about her age despite the fact that every year is supposedly seven (or something) in dog years. 
• She takes the time to stop and smell not just the roses but every damn thing. (Okay, maybe that's a bit gross...)

On the other hand, it must get terribly boring being a dog. Which is why our Cookie Monster has tried to liven up her life by bolting out the gate and going for a wander a couple of times. Related: we think we know how she ended up in a dog shelter.

About a year or so ago she managed to wander off several blocks away, following another dog. Perhaps she had a tryst with her boyfriend. It turns out that the other dog belonged to a girl who knew Mr 15 from school. I was at home posting frantic messages on Facebook while Mickey Blue Eyes scoured the neighbourhood. Long story short: the girl eventually saw my posts and the local pound delivered a trembling Cookie back home in their van. She was suitably sheepish but seemed happy to be here again. 

Her adventure over, she was back to her favourite spot in the sun.

Yep, life as a dog is pretty darn tough. 

Linking up for IBOT.

If you could be an animal, which one would you be? 

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Favourite Family Meals

Meals are my favourite times of the day. It's a shame I have to cook them. But for some reason the pesky old dinner fairy refuses to show up.  In fact, my life pretty much revolves around eating. Sad, but true. 

The favourite crowd pleasing meal around these parts would have to be the old bog standard roast.

Otherwise it's anything chicken. Roast chook, drumsticks, schnitzel and the good old bbq chooks from the supermarket when I'm too lazy busy to make anything. 

In fact Mr 12 once referred to himself as Chicken Connor. But he probably wouldn't like me telling anyone that. Shhhhhh, don't tell him I told you. 

When I was growing up my favourites were baked chicken or spaghetti bolognaise. Clearly my boys inherited my originality. 

Well, actually only one boy out of my three will eat spaghetti bolognaise or anything with a sauce. My younger two detest all sauces. They don't even like tomato sauce with chicken nuggets or sausages, like most kids. Weird.

Truthfully my seven year old exists on chicken (which has to be the pure white breast part only; or schnitzel), potatoes, boiled eggs, tuna, fruit and the smell of an oily rag. That's another one of my Mum's sayings.  I forgot about that one. 

I'll pretty much eat anything that isn't nailed down and most likely have a go at the nailed down stuff as well. This is interesting because as a child I was somewhat picky. I only liked my Mum's cooking. Related: my Mum is a superb cook. There was even one instance as a child when a former family friend wondered if I may be anorexic. I can hear all the hysterical laughter. Sniff. How times change. 

When it comes to cooking I am this weird sort of dichotomy where one night I can make something fabulous and delicious, the next something even my dog wouldn't eat. I have fits and fancies. Sometimes I'm really motivated to cook and into it. Other times I'd rather poke my eyeballs out. I prefer looking up new recipes and trying different things. But the whole cooking-for-a-fussy-family-throw-some-sausages-in-a-pan-thing bores me shitless and makes me stabby. 

There is also the sad truth that my kitchen is approximately the size of a postage stamp. We also do not possess a dishwasher in 2016. What are we like? I'll tell you: broke economical. So ner!

And don't get me started on the other phenomenon where everyone insists that you should get your kids involved in the kitchen.  Not spectacularly easy when a) you have a tiny kitchen, and b) you're not particularly wonderful at the thing you're trying to teach some one else to do and c) the person you're trying to teach isn't totally into it. My boys enthusiasm for learning to cook is in direct contrast to their desire to eat, which is constant. Hmmm, wonder where they inherited THAT from...

I only really learnt a few bits and pieces about cooking during high school home science classes. The rest I made up as I went or learnt from The Women's Weekly Basic cookbook. It is exactly that. It tells you all the basics from how to boil an egg, cook a roast and make scones. My boys love my scones.

 Anyway, I used that book until it fell apart. Luckily I was able to get another one, but now that is also falling to bits. I'm hoping I can find another one on Evilbay. 

Apart from all of that there's always the true Dinner Fairy. Meaning, take away.  And I must admit, sometimes that is truly my favourite. 

Linking up for Life This Week , Open Slather and Mummy Mondays.

What are your favourite family meals? 

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Letter to my 35 year old self...

Dear Ness,

Hello there 35 year old Ness. Greetings from your future self. I am the 45 year old you. Let me tell you, the next ten years are going to be one hell of a ride. If you knew what was in store for you it would make your hair curl. Related: something will make your hair curl*. It's probably better if you don't know what it is. No, mullet perms have NOT come back into fashion!

I will tell you this: you are much stronger than you think you are. Another thing: you're NOT FAT. In fact, ten years from now you will be wishing to be as 'fat' as you are now.

Enjoy your metabolism while you still have one, because shortly it will make a hasty exit stage door right never to be seen again! Sorry. That's just the truth. There's nothing you can do about it. Oh wait. There are a couple of things: 

1. Exercise!
2. Stop eating all that cake and crap! 

In five years time you will discover some very revealing and fascinating information about yourself**. The fact that this revelation will be a huge yawn to everyone else doesn't lessen it's significance to you. It's all pretty amazing. In some ways your life will be changed forever even though other things are exactly the same. I know I am being mysterious and enigmatic but let's face it you always have been.  A woman of hidden depths. 

A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. Or, you know, a woman wrapped in a dressing gown inside a suburban house. Details. 

While mullet perms thankfully haven't made a comeback, something else that you enjoyed as a teenager does. You know all those letters you wrote? Well, you're going to write letters (of sorts) again, but on the internet. There are also lots of fun times ahead. Oh and don't worry, Mickey Blue Eyes will be fine. He will be a long time cancer survivor and an inspiration. 

You will be the mother of a lanky 15 year old and a beautiful 12 year old. There will be another baby but not without a few bumps along the way. Then your family will be complete. 

There won't be any teleporting available and you haven't become a millionaire. You're still waiting for that  McMansion, but you've made peace with it if it never arrives (likely).  In many ways you're a different woman even though nothing appears to have changed on the surface. It's odd. Changes in life aren't always what you think they're going to be. They can be a change in attitude or thinking. A shift in the way you see yourself. Becoming more aware that the little things in life are really what matter, even though a McMansion would be nice. 

Plus, while there are things about yourself that you'll never exactly love (for example, you'll always wish you were less anxious), you'll be able to exist with them. And you'll also realise that there are other unique things about you that are pretty freaking awesome. Maybe they don't look they way they are 'supposed' to look, but nevertheless they're awesome. There will be times when you might not see this (your awesome traits), but others will. You're very lucky that way. 

Related: I'm not going to tell you to stop comparing yourself with others or over thinking. Time and again you'll fall into this trap. There isn't a magic age when this stops. But you're able to recognise it and move on from it faster. The best way to do so is to take some action. It doesn't have to be anything grand and monumental. Just moving is enough. 

Which brings me to my next point.  You love tapping away here but make sure you get up and move as well. You need to exercise whether you like it or not. (See above).

You also need a gentle reminder to leave the house more often. You're inclined to become a hermit. There's nothing wrong with being a loner and introvert, you just need to mix it up a bit.

So get on with it dear girl. 

And no, I am not going to disclose to you the current winning lotto numbers. There's no point. You never take a ticket. And even if you did, you'd just lose it. You're a scatterbrain. Funnily enough, having three children hasn't improved upon this fact. One of these days you will see that being a scatterbrain isn't the worst thing you could be, and what's more you're a funny and (mostly) lovable scatterbrain. 

Having said that, you do need to make some effort to be slightly more organised and to snap out of your dream world occasionally. And you will. It does get somewhat better, but you will never be one of these brisk and efficient, multi-tasking types. Sorry, it's just not going to happen! And daydreaming is underrated anyway. 

So anyway, I've got to go. I'm expecting a letter from 55 year old me any moment. I'll be so freaking happy to receive that letter. You have no idea. So happy that I'm not even freaking out at the sound of that rather mature age. Well, maybe a little...

Good things are coming! 

Curly hair is just one of them! 

Keep being awesome. 

Love,

45 year old Ness

*In late 2015 I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Chemo made my hair grow back curly.
**In 2011 I was diagnosed with ASD, formerly known as Asperger's Syndrome. 

Linking up for Friday Reflections.

A big thank you to Sanch and the gang at Write Tribe for making me one of last week's featured writers for my story! Yay! I get a cocktail! You can read the story here. 

What would you tell yourself ten years ago (besides the winning lotto numbers)? 

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