Hello again! If you are currently in the land of Oz, I do hope you haven't drowned in a pool of your own sweat. Lordy, it's HOT. Horrendous, really. Phew!
Anyway, pop on the air con on, pour yourself a cool beverage and enjoy a lovely little story I wrote for #FridayReflections.
Alternatively, if you're in another part of the world, where it's frosty and cool, snuggle up with a cosy blanket and a hot beverage. Also: I hate you. Don't take it personally.
But onto the story...
It was inspired by the following prompt:
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Ever since she could remember Fern had been frightened. Of the dark. Of dogs. Of her brittle, distant parents. The bullies at school. What people would think.
Even the telephone! It's rings could send her into abject horror. Then she'd seen it. The free course at the community centre seemed like it was invented for her: Overcoming Fear and Becoming Confident.
Unleash your inner potential with proven steps to success, the blurb assured her. The irony that she'd had to confront her fear of groups to turn up to a group about overcoming fear wasn't lost on her.
"Do one thing every day that scares you," the instructor told them. She was a tall, charismatic woman with a sharp highlighted bob and booming voice. The kind of woman who appeared to have never been frightened in her life. Her name was Donna Savage.
Fern supposed you could never fear anything with such a name. If anyone ridiculed Donna Savage, she could certainly live up to her name with one look. Her eyes were laser sharp and piercing. Even a wallflower like Fern couldn't fade into the background. That was her usual way in groups.
Now she had do scary things each day for a week or risk the disappointment of that probing gaze. Yesterday, she'd sent her coffee back when it was too weak. The day before she'd approached the neighbour who always parked across her driveway.
Now, she was meeting Brian. An online date. Well, just a coffee to start with. She was nervous, but he'd seemed nice enough during their online chats. He'd told her he loved her name. After years of being bullied by all the Jennys and Amandas, it was refreshing. A portly, balding man with glasses entered the cafe. Fern dismissed him.
"Fern!" the balding man beamed at her.
She blinked. "Brian?" He must have used a rather old profile picture. She'd been catfished.
"Lovely to meet you!" Brian leaned in, going straight for her lips. She turned her cheek at the same time and they knocked faces awkwardly.
"Can I get you a coffee?"
He ordered their cappuccinos. They sat facing each other with only the sound of the coffee machine and the quiet murmuring of other customers to break the silence.
"So tell me..."
"Have you been here before?"
They suddenly spoke at once. This seemed to open the tides for Brian and he was off and running. In no time at all she knew his whole life story, including rather more than she would like about his ex-wife and his interest in aquariums. He didn't seem curious to know anything about her.
When he finally asked her if she would like to come back to his place to 'see his aquariums' she politely declined. Mustering up her courage, she added "It was lovely to meet you, but I don't think this is going to work."
Brian looked momentarily flummoxed. His confusion soon turned to contempt. "Typical," he muttered.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You women are all the same. Only after money."
Fern took a deep breath. "I earn my own money, Brian. I just don't think we have anything in common."
But Brian was already looking at his phone.
"Doesn't matter. You were only my third choice, anyway."
Fern left him scrolling away for his next victim. Imagine this odious man ranking women! But at least she'd done her scary thing for the day.
Donna had promised them that each day it would be less scary. Fern wasn't so sure. You just did the thing, feeling petrified all the while. And the next time was no different. There was no such thing as conquering all your fears, Fern concluded. She knew this, because the next day she went to a completely sickening dentist appointment she'd been avoiding for months. She lay back in the chair, rigid with tension.
"Try to relax," the dentist instructed. It was only the fact that she had her gaping jaw locked as he examined her that stopped her from guffawing in derision.
After the appointment, she treated herself to a new book, feeling triumphant. Until she remembered tomorrow's task.
The next day, she picked up the phone and pressed the number with trembling fingers. The answering machine clicked on. Her mother's monotone delivered a laborious instruction to leave a message after the beep. Fern knew she was home. Her parents always screened calls.
"Hello Mum, it's me," she breathed. "Please pick up."
There was a clunk and a gruff greeting.
"What's up?" her mother never had time for pleasantries. It occurred to Fern that maybe she hated the phone more than she did.
"I just rang to tell you that I won't be able to come home for Christmas lunch. Some friends from work invited me to their place."
For the next fifteen minutes Fern was treated to an explosive diatribe about how utterly selfish and worthless she was. Finally, she announced: "I'm hanging up now!" She slammed the phone down with her mother still ranting at her. She guessed she wouldn't be hearing from her parents for a very long time. This made her equal parts sad and relieved.
At the next meeting she proudly related her achievements to Donna Savage. The group had dwindled to only a half dozen or so of them now.
"Excellent!" Donna congratulated them, after they'd all spoken. "I think you are all ready to go the next level."
Her eyes gleamed as she started a PowerPoint presentation.
By the time it finished, Fern's head was hurting. It was a ten minute testament to something called SOLUTIONS FOR SUCCESS - ULTIMATE CONFIDENCE!! A comprehensive programme, including two one to one sessions with Donna and a package of her books and instructional DVDs, all for the bargain price of - wait for it - 1,500 dollars!
Fern was flabbergasted. "You never mentioned anything about these charges before," she squeaked. A few other participants seemed to be transfixed. They were under Donna Savage's spell. It was like she was some sort of Tony Robbins/Oprah/Deepak Chopra Svengali. They were ready to sign up.
"It's all on my website and brochures," Donna replied "Didn't you read the fine print?"
Fern was speechless. Fine print? This was absurd!
"The first five people to sign up receive a 30 percent discount!" Donna trilled, all smiles. Those enigmatic eyes were more piercing than ever.
A few people started doing the sums. Fern felt a flash of something. What was it? Yes! It was anger! How dare this woman call herself a Life Coach, then try to exploit people's insecurities?
She stood up, all five foot one of her bristling with indignation. She looked straight into those hypnotic, penetrating eyes.
"YOU are nothing but a phoney and an opportunist!" her voice was shaky but loud. "This is outrageous! And I, for one, am not paying you a cent!"
"Fine!" Donna snapped, her eyes suddenly cold and dangerous. "Maybe you're not ready. The offer is still available for anyone else!"
The other attendees were gaping at Fern. She'd been the quietest one in the group until this point. Yet her outburst seemed to have an effect.
"It does seem like a lot," one woman agreed.
"I'd have to discuss it with my husband," said another.
"I never saw any fine print!" huffed the only gentleman in the group.
"Come on, everyone," Fern decided to take charge. "Let's go!" They filed out in a disgruntled line as Donna barked after them.
"You'll be sorry! The offer expires on Monday!"
They stood in the car park afterwards sharing their astonishment. Fern was amazed to discover that not only had an hour and a half passed, but evidently she'd made three new friends. They all agreed to meet for coffee again next week.
At home, she dumped her bag and flopped on the couch beside her cat, Archie. He meowed his disgust at her being so late. "I didn't do my scary thing today, Archie!" she told him. The she sat up. Of course she had! She thought of Donna Savage's churlish face and laughed and laughed. Archie just stared at her. Humans were so weird.
Do you like to scare yourself?
Have you melted yet?
Anyway, pop on the air con on, pour yourself a cool beverage and enjoy a lovely little story I wrote for #FridayReflections.
Alternatively, if you're in another part of the world, where it's frosty and cool, snuggle up with a cosy blanket and a hot beverage. Also: I hate you. Don't take it personally.
But onto the story...
It was inspired by the following prompt:
Do one thing every day that scares you.
SOMETHING ABOUT FERN
Ever since she could remember Fern had been frightened. Of the dark. Of dogs. Of her brittle, distant parents. The bullies at school. What people would think.
Even the telephone! It's rings could send her into abject horror. Then she'd seen it. The free course at the community centre seemed like it was invented for her: Overcoming Fear and Becoming Confident.
Unleash your inner potential with proven steps to success, the blurb assured her. The irony that she'd had to confront her fear of groups to turn up to a group about overcoming fear wasn't lost on her.
"Do one thing every day that scares you," the instructor told them. She was a tall, charismatic woman with a sharp highlighted bob and booming voice. The kind of woman who appeared to have never been frightened in her life. Her name was Donna Savage.
Fern supposed you could never fear anything with such a name. If anyone ridiculed Donna Savage, she could certainly live up to her name with one look. Her eyes were laser sharp and piercing. Even a wallflower like Fern couldn't fade into the background. That was her usual way in groups.
Now she had do scary things each day for a week or risk the disappointment of that probing gaze. Yesterday, she'd sent her coffee back when it was too weak. The day before she'd approached the neighbour who always parked across her driveway.
Now, she was meeting Brian. An online date. Well, just a coffee to start with. She was nervous, but he'd seemed nice enough during their online chats. He'd told her he loved her name. After years of being bullied by all the Jennys and Amandas, it was refreshing. A portly, balding man with glasses entered the cafe. Fern dismissed him.
"Fern!" the balding man beamed at her.
She blinked. "Brian?" He must have used a rather old profile picture. She'd been catfished.
"Lovely to meet you!" Brian leaned in, going straight for her lips. She turned her cheek at the same time and they knocked faces awkwardly.
"Can I get you a coffee?"
He ordered their cappuccinos. They sat facing each other with only the sound of the coffee machine and the quiet murmuring of other customers to break the silence.
"So tell me..."
"Have you been here before?"
They suddenly spoke at once. This seemed to open the tides for Brian and he was off and running. In no time at all she knew his whole life story, including rather more than she would like about his ex-wife and his interest in aquariums. He didn't seem curious to know anything about her.
When he finally asked her if she would like to come back to his place to 'see his aquariums' she politely declined. Mustering up her courage, she added "It was lovely to meet you, but I don't think this is going to work."
Brian looked momentarily flummoxed. His confusion soon turned to contempt. "Typical," he muttered.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You women are all the same. Only after money."
Fern took a deep breath. "I earn my own money, Brian. I just don't think we have anything in common."
But Brian was already looking at his phone.
"Doesn't matter. You were only my third choice, anyway."
Fern left him scrolling away for his next victim. Imagine this odious man ranking women! But at least she'd done her scary thing for the day.
Donna had promised them that each day it would be less scary. Fern wasn't so sure. You just did the thing, feeling petrified all the while. And the next time was no different. There was no such thing as conquering all your fears, Fern concluded. She knew this, because the next day she went to a completely sickening dentist appointment she'd been avoiding for months. She lay back in the chair, rigid with tension.
"Try to relax," the dentist instructed. It was only the fact that she had her gaping jaw locked as he examined her that stopped her from guffawing in derision.
After the appointment, she treated herself to a new book, feeling triumphant. Until she remembered tomorrow's task.
The next day, she picked up the phone and pressed the number with trembling fingers. The answering machine clicked on. Her mother's monotone delivered a laborious instruction to leave a message after the beep. Fern knew she was home. Her parents always screened calls.
"Hello Mum, it's me," she breathed. "Please pick up."
There was a clunk and a gruff greeting.
"What's up?" her mother never had time for pleasantries. It occurred to Fern that maybe she hated the phone more than she did.
"I just rang to tell you that I won't be able to come home for Christmas lunch. Some friends from work invited me to their place."
For the next fifteen minutes Fern was treated to an explosive diatribe about how utterly selfish and worthless she was. Finally, she announced: "I'm hanging up now!" She slammed the phone down with her mother still ranting at her. She guessed she wouldn't be hearing from her parents for a very long time. This made her equal parts sad and relieved.
At the next meeting she proudly related her achievements to Donna Savage. The group had dwindled to only a half dozen or so of them now.
"Excellent!" Donna congratulated them, after they'd all spoken. "I think you are all ready to go the next level."
Her eyes gleamed as she started a PowerPoint presentation.
By the time it finished, Fern's head was hurting. It was a ten minute testament to something called SOLUTIONS FOR SUCCESS - ULTIMATE CONFIDENCE!! A comprehensive programme, including two one to one sessions with Donna and a package of her books and instructional DVDs, all for the bargain price of - wait for it - 1,500 dollars!
Fern was flabbergasted. "You never mentioned anything about these charges before," she squeaked. A few other participants seemed to be transfixed. They were under Donna Savage's spell. It was like she was some sort of Tony Robbins/Oprah/Deepak Chopra Svengali. They were ready to sign up.
"It's all on my website and brochures," Donna replied "Didn't you read the fine print?"
Fern was speechless. Fine print? This was absurd!
"The first five people to sign up receive a 30 percent discount!" Donna trilled, all smiles. Those enigmatic eyes were more piercing than ever.
A few people started doing the sums. Fern felt a flash of something. What was it? Yes! It was anger! How dare this woman call herself a Life Coach, then try to exploit people's insecurities?
She stood up, all five foot one of her bristling with indignation. She looked straight into those hypnotic, penetrating eyes.
"YOU are nothing but a phoney and an opportunist!" her voice was shaky but loud. "This is outrageous! And I, for one, am not paying you a cent!"
"Fine!" Donna snapped, her eyes suddenly cold and dangerous. "Maybe you're not ready. The offer is still available for anyone else!"
The other attendees were gaping at Fern. She'd been the quietest one in the group until this point. Yet her outburst seemed to have an effect.
"It does seem like a lot," one woman agreed.
"I'd have to discuss it with my husband," said another.
"I never saw any fine print!" huffed the only gentleman in the group.
"Come on, everyone," Fern decided to take charge. "Let's go!" They filed out in a disgruntled line as Donna barked after them.
"You'll be sorry! The offer expires on Monday!"
They stood in the car park afterwards sharing their astonishment. Fern was amazed to discover that not only had an hour and a half passed, but evidently she'd made three new friends. They all agreed to meet for coffee again next week.
At home, she dumped her bag and flopped on the couch beside her cat, Archie. He meowed his disgust at her being so late. "I didn't do my scary thing today, Archie!" she told him. The she sat up. Of course she had! She thought of Donna Savage's churlish face and laughed and laughed. Archie just stared at her. Humans were so weird.
THE END
Do you like to scare yourself?
Have you melted yet?
