2016 has been a challenging year. I kicked off the year with a lovely little trip down chemotherapy lane. I'm sure most of you know that I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer in December 2015. So the first few months of this year were dedicated to getting through treatment. My only goal was to get to the end with my sanity (relatively) in check. Mission accomplished! Well, I do have moments of madness, but mostly everything is fine now.
Setting goals
But here's a shocking confession: I've never been a person who sets goals and ticks off lists. I've just kind of drifted through life.
I know that probably comes as a huge surprise. OK, not really. It's totally obvious. This blog alone is a dead giveaway. If I didn't have the prompt and link-up every week I'd probably never update this blog. Even so it's ad hoc and all over the place.
I don't have any grand plan for this space, either to monetise or have x amount of readers by December. I just plan to plod on talking to myself and writing and confessing whatever I like, whenever I like. You're welcome.
Connecting to goals or values
This is a confronting or kind of interesting topic for me. I don't really know how to explain it. I don't seem to even know my own mind. That doesn't even make sense. For instance, we know that we eventually want to move, but even if the time was right and we could start making plans and taking action to do exactly that, I have no idea in hell where I want to move to or live.
It's quite strange. Most people would know where their dream address would be. Even it was unattainable unless they won the lottery or robbed a bank or something, they would still have somewhere in mind. I have no idea. Perhaps I just don't cope with change so I'm resisting it? It's just another strange insight to the nutty old world of Ness.
It's the same as connecting to your values. What do I truly value? I would say that I value health and family, yet I still struggle to live in accordance with those values all the time. I'm supposed to be a Weight Witches life time member, but I must confess I've been a very bad witch recently. Oops.
I still keep coming back to this value (health) or goal, so that's the main thing.
A light bulb moment or epiphany
You'd expect that having had a cancer diagnosis would lead to some sort of illuminating moment of utter clarity. I'd know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'd sit down and write a list of goals and get on with ticking them off like a boss.
No such thing has happened for me. It's weird. It's more a feeling of just wanting more of the mundane. When you have to spend months schlepping off to doctor's appointments all you want is to get back to 'normal'. Suddenly the idea of just doing the grocery shopping or school pick up seems appealing. I didn't want to be a cancer patient, I just wanted to be normal again. And I wouldn't mind having a full head of hair. Related: it is growing back. It's all grey and curly. I look like a lovely, placid sheep. Nice.
A new kind of normal
So here I am, finished with treatment. Now I go on to six-monthly check-ups. The first of which is coming up very quickly in late August/early September. It's a new kind of normal.
And that is my only big goal for 2016 and every other year. Staying boring and normal. You can never under estimate how wonderful 'boring' is.
The only other goal I had was to go on a holiday with my family. Related: we will be headed to the sunny Gold Coast (via Coffs Harbour) by the time you're reading this! Hopefully we can relax and thaw out for a bit.
So here's to a boring rest of 2016! Cheers!
Linking up for I Must Confess
What are your goals for 2016?
Ha ha I bet you're a lovely looking placid sheep :) Mine isn't long enough for curls yet. It's brown on top and white at the sides - I'm basically a reverse skunk! x x
ReplyDeleteA reverse skunk?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!
DeleteI can imagine it must be nice to go back to the mundane. Enjoy your holiday!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tegan. Don't mind if I do. Cheers!
DeleteI can relate to craving boring and normal.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are having a holiday! I have been learning a lot about aligning myself with the values I find most important to me. They are soooo different to goals. I will post a list of these (not my responses!) to my blog for Wednesday. it really is an interesting way to 'become more in tune with yourself.'
ReplyDeleteOoh enjoy your sunny holiday! It's well deserved.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting what you said about pretty much embracing the mundane and therefore, being able to enjoy it. With all you have gone through during the year, it's understandable to want routine back again. For me on the other hand, the daily routine is starting to be stifling. I think even though I'm busy, I'm not connected to anyone and that's what getting to me. Maybe that's why I have the itch to move, to have a seachange, to change my job...argh! When in fact, I reckon I should just be ok with routine and day-to-day life :)
Enjoy your holiday Ness. And there's nothing wrong with wishing for the mundane and appreciating the little things, especially after the year you've had x
ReplyDeleteHi, sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but glad you are recovering well. Enjoy your holiday!!
ReplyDeleteYou know what? Going on holiday is as good a goal as any! I loved Coffs. Enjoy!! (and I like the ambling blog - that's my grand blog plan too ;)
ReplyDeleteYay for achieving a boring life!!! I love reading your blather here on the blog x
ReplyDelete